How I used to be an astronaut



    I was prompted to write this small note by a recent post “Planned Rejuvenation” in the cosmonaut detachment. "

    Some time ago I asked myself the question - why am I not worthy of being an astronaut?
    No, well, really, why do we all think that these are some heavenly deities with Nimbus and wings?
    Yes, of course, they are great specialists, but otherwise, they are just excellent guys, open, honest, friendly. Romantics.

    For example, I personally know two real pilots - one military, reconnaissance, second civilian, second pilot. If I met them on the bus I never would have thought that this is a serious pilots.

    This is such a well-known movie, confirming my words:



    So, having an active technical childhood (radio circles), a decent technical education (chemical engineer), military service with an “A” category, intensive work, and also quite a decent hobby in the form of mountaineering, I thought as a cosmonaut candidate, I'm pretty good))). And I decided to study the issue in more detail.

    Anecdote to the topic
    Жил-был один несчастливый и невезучий человек. Причем никто не считал его несчастливым и невезучим, но он постоянно твердил о своем невезении и постепенно не только он сам, но и другие люди стали считать его несчастным и обделенным. Он говорил, что ему патологически не везет ни в чем – даже в лотерею выиграть не может ни копейки, ну не везет и все! И начал этот человек просить у Бога помощи. Каждый вечер перед сном он молился и просил в молитве выигрыш в лотерею. А помощи все нет. Вот он просит месяц, второй, третий, год, второй, третий… А помощи все нет…
    И вдруг с небес раздается голос: «Ну ты хоть лотерейный билет то купи!»

    On the Roscosmos website there is a special section dedicated to the recruitment of an astronaut corps.

    The most primary list of documents to be submitted must contain:

    - Twelve personal documents (copies of a passport, insurance, military application, autobiography, etc.), of which the most confused is “Certificate of the presence (absence) of a criminal record and (or) the fact of criminal prosecution or about termination of criminal prosecution. " This document is done for a month. Everything else is solved in an hour.

    - About 25 medical certificates (as, by the way, it turned out that even at the first stage, not copies, but originals are needed), of which the most confused are
    ultrasound of the abdominal organs, thyroid gland, kidneys, and pelvic organs;
    - fibroesophagogastroduodenoscopy (this is when the bulb is swallowed);
    - Conclusion VLEK GA for the category of amateur pilots;

    Considering that the validity of a series of certificates is no more than one month to collect all these documents, it makes sense to use private clinics (I do not believe that all these documents can be collected monthly in a state clinic, with its queues. For example, in my clinic you can make an appointment with Laura no earlier than 7 days).

    So, only one delivery of biochemical analyzes will rise to 7-8 thousand rubles. And this is only one point out of 25.

    But it was not that that surprised me. What is the point of talking about money if you "see the stars through the ceiling."

    Surprised by another:

    One of the basic rules is the work experience of 3 years in the specialty. As I was told on the phone by the guys from Roscosmos, one of the requirements for the candidate is “to have the ability to study space technology,” and the criterion of this skill will be the presence of a labor guard from 3 years in the specialty. That is, the commission will study my work record, and if, in their opinion, the job titles do not correspond to the name of the specialty, then you are not suitable for formal reasons.

    My basic specialty is called a chemical engineer. But in the workbook, all my posts are not included in the specified phrase. I was a drug developer, product specialist, I was a sales manager (I sold high-tech scientific equipment, with recruitment and installation), I even did research and development (by myself with technology), but still not technically labor. In addition, I am working right now in one private company in my direct specialty, but I don’t have a formal employment at all - that is an objective reality.

    So, all this is NOT CONSIDERED for labor activity. In

    total we have:

    1. I am a candidate with perfect health
    2. Physical training is excellent
    3. I am able to establish contact with people, communicate, avoid conflicts, etc.
    4. Higher education in technical specialty
    5. All my life I worked with technology, but the records in labor do not completely correspond to this
    6. Spent a lot of time (not less than a month) and money (in total it is about 15-20 thousand rubles) for passing a heap of analyzes and Reference


    : Solution:

    Not suitable for formal reasons - seniority does not match.

    I called Roscosmos, described the situation and received such interesting answers:

    1. I was most definitely told that all these formal attributes will be decisive in the initial selection of candidates. And since at the initial stage of the selection of the candidate himself there will be no explanation and no one will give an explanation, this means that the candidate flies right away.

    2. Nowadays there are very few questionnaires, and even fewer among them those that contain all the necessary documents. And considering that this is already an additional set, in my opinion, this suggests that either the people are not interested in all this at all, or people really look at things and understand that all this fuss is meaningless.

    3. The questionnaire of civilian specialists is greater than the military (pilots, cadets, etc.). Maybe this is a trend? What do such military pilots know that they don’t go to astronauts?

    It turns out that the cosmonaut squad runs up, the crews have reduced to two people, the interest among the population decreases, there are few candidates, the selection is not logical. Tell me, guys from Roskosmos, do you really need astronauts?

    QUESTION:

    Is this selection approach justified in the first stage? Maybe the first screening should be done using the experience of a number of aviation companies - at the first stage a large test is filled, with a couple of hundred questions, or a free-form statement or autobiography is considered, then an interview is held, etc.

    Or still such barriers are needed. If a person really wants, will he pass all obstacles?

    P.S. I, by the way, still try to apply. If I go somewhere, I will definitely write a sequel.

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