Why I won’t hire you

Original author: Charlie Balmer
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A friend of mine recently was actively looking for work, and asked me how to apply to the employer. Googling, we leafed through a dozen articles on how to and how not to do during the search, and I decided to translate one of them for the habrasociety, maybe this will help someone avoid the errors that are described in it. The style of the article is quite provocative, the language is obscene in places, so I tried to smooth the corners. So let's go. .

I will be honest with you - most articles about interviews describe only the most obvious mistakes, for example, that appearing late is bad form. I’ll tell you things that I didn’t even know about until I started interviewing different people for different positions. No article can prepare you for how a person who comes to you thinks - I came to this all myself.

When you first come to my office, I expect that you are one of the 99 percent of people who can communicate with me in five minutes to determine that you are not suitable for me. But I still hope that you will convince me and go through an interview. Unfortunately, most people come to interview for vacancies that they are not worthy. Here are some ways to find out.

You sent me a damn long resume


If I spend more than 30 seconds to read your resume - forget about work, you made me angry. For some reason, since the resume began to be sent in electronic form, people began to think that they could write 10 pages of text about how good they were for this work, expecting me to read every word. With a much greater likelihood, I will ignore everything that is written, make a note “Can’t communicate briefly,” and continue to look at other options. Very rarely, if you have a really impressive list of skills, I can invite you to an interview, but you need to be damn good when talking face to face.

Think about it on my part - the resume tells me about your past, presumably in a concise manner. If you can’t talk about it briefly, will I want to look at your messy emails every day in the future? If I cannot read your resume to the end, with a high probability I will not be able to read the letters.

If you write "Windows Administration", make at least one subitem in which you describe a successful project in which you used this skill. The subitem should be no longer than three sentences, the ideal is one sentence, if longer, you are wasting my and your time in vain.

You cannot say why you love your current job


I always ask people what they like best in their work, before I talk about all the details of the vacancy. I want to see if you can be happy in your new job. What if you can’t answer this question for me, or answer with standard template phrases? Then forget about work, I have no idea what you want to do in life, and you, too, seem to. Come to me when you know what you want to do. I’ll even be happy if I hear from you something like “this work is not impressive, but my previous work, where I really liked to do (blablabla), and I miss this, and I think this work will remind me of this feeling ". Show that you are really interested, or do not waste my time in vain.

Worst answers? “I love challenges” or similar nonsense. I have a bullshit detector, and most employers have one too. Worst of all, when more than 50 percent of people say the same thing. If a person cannot deviate from patterns when telling why he loves his job, how can I be sure that you can be creative by working for me.

However, if you answer with standard answers (I like interesting tasks, grateful clients, etc.) - take the trouble to give an example from your practice that would really show how much you love it. I do not mind if it does not apply to future work, although it helps. Just be prepared that I can ask such a question - and it is in your best interest to have a good answer.

You have no plans for the future.


When I ask you what your next job will be after the one you are interviewing, it is advisable for you to answer. Everyone should have a vision of why you want to work for me. If you can tell me how working for me will help you advance in your long-term plans, I will understand that you have an incentive to work productively. If you just want to get this job, why should I take you, because someone else can come and tell me about your plans and vision of your progress.

A good answer is a well thought out development plan. You should have it anyway. Here is a good example: “I plan to progress from working in a small company to working in a large corporation with the possibility of growth. I would like to grow as a manager for the next 10 years, but my current company is too small for me to grow. (This work) will help me gain experience in management and communication, and will help me grow as a leader and improve my skills. I would like to become the chief manager ”... and continue how this work will help you with this.

No related skills


Please do not bother me if you do not have the necessary skills - I will still know. If you are a programmer, then you must show the skill in an interview, and show well. If you are a project manager, you must know how to build a project plan or project vision. Perhaps I will even give you a description of the project and ask you to build a plan right away with me. Just because you think you know how to do it, and if you don’t correspond, you are wasting my time. Most likely I will be satisfied if, looking into my eyes, you say that you agree to a lower position, so that you have the opportunity to learn this. But it’s better to indicate this in your resume so as not to waste time.

If you come to my interview, and I expect you to be a UNIX system administrator, and you say: “I have read several books and would like to learn to practice this,” I will not like it. If instead you indicate in the summary “I want to improve my skills in administering UNIX systems during project execution,” I will probably invest some resources in your training so that you can be recruited as a full-time employee. Still not bad if you indicate what you did in order to prepare, even if you do not fully satisfy the conditions. Do not make me unpleasant surprises.

Answers to my guessed questions


I will test you in many ways. I will ask you to tell about different situations from your life - when you had a failure, when success, when you loved and hated. Do not tell me what you would do in the future. I did not ask what you could do, I asked what you did. If I ask for an example, please give me one. If you don’t have one, it’s normal, just tell me that you have never been in such a situation, but you have ideas if I want to hear them.

If you are unsure of yourself, spend some time training such situations. I never use options from the Internet, but it will help you not to get lost during the interview. I also will not mind if the candidate thinks for a while. I understand that everyone has their own way of answering questions and their own way of thinking.

Posted by Charlie Ballmer, businessman, blogger, and consultant.

Special thanks to the unknown comrades who made it possible to publish this article.

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