Then we finish it. Chapter 1, in which everything begins (and, very badly)

“Well, what did he say?” - looking from the bottom, asked Igor. - They fire us?

“It's high time for you, Igoryan.” - Ivan answered with a smile. “You are sitting, chewing snot here, savior of mankind.”

Such jokes, said with a smile, always produced a magical effect on Igor. Still, the boss was like a second father to him.

- But seriously? - intervened Gene. “I haven’t seen you like that for a long time.” What did you say?

- He said that he did not care what we think of ourselves. He needs an information technology service as a service. Service Unit.

- What is it like? - asked Stas. - Whom to serve? Bookkeeping?

- Yes, first of all. They say we do.

- Even if you do not agree with the production? - Stas did not let up.

“Even if it's not our job at all.” - Ivan answered straight away. - Something we did not like the new director.

- Did you tell him about your projects? By warehouse, by procurement. - asked Gena.

- Of course he did. And he suggested a couple of similar projects to do. In production, for example, processes will be established, work with quality, planning done.

“And what is he?” Doesn't want something? Asked Igoryan.

- Not. Says - thanks, no. - looking out the window, Ivan said. - He is going to recruit a team of managers, his own, set them a goal and put things in order.

- Well then, why are you soaring. - Stas said enthusiastically. - What is the difference, what to do.

“Maybe not for you, but I don’t want to do any nonsense.” - Ivan began to lose his temper. - What is the point of spending time on accounting? A? Tell me, wise guy.

- What are you getting? - Stas asked a little scared. - Am I forcing you to do accounting?

- You damn just said - what difference does what to do. - aggressively continued Ivan.

“Hey girls, don't quarrel.” - Gene entered.

“They forgot to ask you.” - Ivan turned and looked at Gena point blank. - Do you think it’s normal to be “an information technology service, as a service”?

- Well, I don’t know ... It’s normal, sort of. - smiling, said Gene.

- Ah, you’re new, you didn’t work with bookkeeping. - Ivan smiled back. “Well, I'll explain it to you.” This makes no sense. At all. Do you understand? At all! Automate bookkeeping, help bookkeeping - this is not a goal, not a project, this is a process. The process, you know? Endless!

- Direct and endless? - Gene became serious. - Is it impossible to automate everything, and that they themselves cope with their work?

“Igoryan, you've been here a long time.” Answer the person. - looked at Igor Ivan.

- Yes, I have porridge in my head ... - Igor started his hackneyed record. “You mean that ...”

- I mean, you and I have been working with accounting for several years. - Ivan did not let Igor finish. - There were times when their activities were so automated that they did not require our participation at all. You and I halved the closing time of the period. We made it so that a simple accountant would cope with the closing of the month, even without education. Dasha was doing this, remember?

- Yes, I remember Dasha. Soon, probably out of the decree. - Igor smiled.

- She closed the month alone, in two accounts - both in the regulated and in the management. There was friendship and love, between us and accounting.

- And then what happened? - Gene asked seriously.

- Change of composition. Not complete, but the chief accountant has changed, and the deputy too. And that's it, again the old song - the programmer is needed in order to help the accountant, let him sit next to me, let him do what I say, they should come running at the first call, work on weekends, especially during the closing period. Have you heard about the order?

- What is the order? - asked Stas.

- Such that when scheduling holidays for programmers, it is necessary to take into account the closing periods. July, October, and from January to April we are no longer on vacation.

- From January to April? Igor rounded his eyes. - Is it four months or something?

“Yes, four months.” First, the closing of the fourth quarter, then the closing of the year, then the closing of the first quarter, well, there the salary statements are submitted in April.

“Kick-ass…” Stas muttered slowly.

“Did the director tell you that?” - asked Gena.

“Yes, just now.” The chief accountant sat down in his ear, with his tax risks, so he was seduced.

- Is this new? Asked Igoryan.

“Yes, the new one that he himself brought here.” The creature is vile, damn it. Each time the same thing, as it is already fed up. The most rotten thing in the life of a programmer is the change of chief accountants and finders. Well, directors.

- Why? - asked Gena. - If everything is adjusted and automated.

- This is not connected at all with the degree of automation. - answered Ivan.

- That is, how is it not connected? - surprised Gene.

- Damn, where have you been? I just talked about how we automated bookkeeping so that there was only noise. Generally, the participation of programmers was not required, and we calmly engaged in normal projects.

- And what, the new accounting staff can not use the same system? Or what, I do not understand. - Gene was perplexed. “Or has something changed in the processes?” Or in the law?

- Yes, not a damn thing has changed anywhere, in the sense in the external environment. But the chief accountant has changed, i.e. replaced by. And that's it, a new broom, all things. What, says, a crap accountant should sit, close the month, correct mistakes, display minuses, reduce black and red? If there are programmers.

“And the director of something, do I agree?” - Igoryan entered.

- I agree.

- Why?

- Because the chief accountant is his man. That's just it. I explained everything to him, told everything, brought the calculations. Well, there, about the fact that a company’s programmer costs two to three times more than an accountant, and generally it’s impossible, not for that, programmers need to poke around in the data. Yes, by the way, I remembered - they also said the package of checks, that is, they ordered it to be turned off.

- What package? The one on the primary? - asked Stas.

- Yes, which ensures the quality of documents, so that later it closes faster, with a minimum of errors.

- And what motivated you? - surprised Igoryan.

- There is such a joke, they motivated about. So motivated, so motivated ... - Ivan smiled. - Seriously, the new accounting department does not want to run into checks when entering documents. They want, as is customary in their race, to put off everything for later. Type we will close - then we'll figure it out. Stas, unplug the package.

- Right now ... - Stas turned to the computer, and began to start the system.

“Although, wait a minute ...” Ivan thought. - No, do not disconnect yet. We’ll not be completely clear, as they say, unfold ... If they get to the bottom, then turn it off. Igoryan, are you on tech support?

- Yes, this week I am.

- In short, if they find out that the document is not being held due to a package of checks, turn it off. Only not the whole package, but a specific check for a specific user. Sorry for the work, about two months all these errors were picked out, systematized, added to the package.

- Well, I remember. - said Igor. - Valeria was so happy when all the errors were collected and blocked.

“First, how many yelling from her.” - Ivan smiled. - I also resisted, stamped my foot that programmers should eliminate errors when the month closes. But nothing, then we talked to her a hundred times, I showed how it works - and agreed. Even helped.

- A new, chief accountant in the sense? - asked Gena.

- What is the new chief accountant?

- Well, maybe she can talk to her, she will also penetrate.

- It will penetrate, of course. After a few months. With all the new chief accountants, they come and begin to impose their moronic orders, bend programmers through directors, demand carte blanche for themselves, to restore order. And then, when they get used to it, and stop shaking for their place, to endure everyone’s brain and vigorous activity to imitate ... Then they begin to think about the matter, and not about their career ambitions. So it was with Valeria, and with this, like her, before her, there was ... Igoryan, what was her name?

- Elena Vitalyevna like ... Or Elena Viktorovna.

- Elena Vitalievna. Also came, let's yell, threaten. As she said there ... Somewhere she even kept a quote from the correspondence ... Like, don’t mess with me, you don’t know me, it will come to you sideways ... Something like that.

- Kick. Muttered Stas.

- Your favorite word? - Gene smiled.

“No, I just know that, I've seen it already.”

- Yes, Stas saw. When we worked at the poultry farm, we were in the same situation. And it ended exactly the same way - they shouted, bored, quarreled, and then, after a few months, they began to work normally - both they and we.

- So maybe you just have to tolerate? - for the first time, Oleg voted. - Since it is precisely known that this is for several months.

- Tired, Olegon, to be honest. - answered Ivan. - This is an endless process. And not only the chief accountant is concerned. It, of course, is cyclic, a process, undulating, like a roller coaster. And there are joys in it, and sorrows, and even achievements - well, when it turns out the next customer to return to normal work. But then everything is repeated again, with another moron who decides that the information technology department should work as a service and tries to earn political points for himself at the expense of us.

- What to earn? - asked Igor.

- Political points. Damn, Igoryan, in front of the bosses, in short, dressing. In the same setting. Like, I'm good for you. Before me was the boss - a moron. Automation made moronic. And I know how to. Therefore, I will make programmers do the right thing. Well, it begins - projects that no one needs, taking up a lot of time, and leading to one result - new projects. If before that the head did not have time to expel, for some jambs. And projects serve as an excuse when jambs happen - it seems like they’ll do the automation for me, and then everything will be fine, and no one will be wrong, lose information, tasks and processes. And when the project is completed, it turns out that it is not a matter of automation, just a boss - a moron.

- So it is everywhere. - said Oleg. - How many years I work, almost always so.

“Well, I know.” - Ivan answered thoughtfully. “But is this not an excuse?”

- What is not an excuse?

- I do not want to live like this, to continue to work like that, just because everywhere like that. Do you understand?

- Understand. - Oleg nodded his head, and smiled.

- He understands. - Ivan smiled back. - You are Siberian boots.

- Not Siberian, but Ural. - laughed Oleg.

“But what's the difference ... In short, whatever you want, but I don’t want to.” Need to come up with something.

- We are with you! - with a tight smile, Igor got up from his chair. - And into the fire, and into the water!

- Sit down, help people, technical support ... - Ivan smiled.

- "Who helps people, he spends time in vain." - Igor sang the famous song of the old woman Shapoklyak.

- Here, by the way. The new director did not like these words, you wrote them in the status of technical support skype? Come on, come on.

- Damn, such a slogan was good for tech support. - sour Igor.

- I know that it’s good, but take it away from sin ...

- What shall we do? - Gene asked, seeing that the conversation was drawing to a close.

- I do not know. You need to think about it. Sit, work.