Programmer's Retirement Interview

- Good afternoon, Stanislav Sergeyevich! Please pass!

- Hello, Katya! I pass, I pass ...

- Tea, coffee?

- Well ... I don’t know. Nothing, probably.

- Well, as you say. I’m a little worried, to be honest - the first time a programmer goes through this procedure ...

- Well, you’ll not put an enema, Katyusha. Do not be afraid, I will not eat you.

“Good, I'm glad to hear that.” So, in our company, a tradition was adopted two years ago - before an employee retires, we conduct an interview, based on which we write detailed material on the corporate portal.

- Yes, Katya, I know about this tradition. It can be interesting to read such materials. True, he gives away from them with some sweetness and pretense, as from the speeches of May 9, but still interesting. You learn a lot about colleagues with whom I worked for decades.

- That's why I am worried - you have worked in our company for almost 40 years.

“So you weren’t even born when I was already moving mountains of automation.” - Stanislav Sergeyevich laughed a little tightly.

- Well yes. I can’t imagine, to be honest, what it is like to work for 40 years in one company, in one position. In general, what is 40 years old, I can’t imagine!

- Well ... I don’t know. No way - that's how. Now it seems that it was so fast, so recently, and at the same time so long. Ugh, somehow he gives away naphthalene from this phrase ...

- What gives? Any swearing?

- Ah, the difference of generations. This is such smelly garbage, it used to be kept in the closet so that the insects would not eat a fur coat.

- A, clear. Okay. Stanislav Sergeyevich, I don’t want to take a lot of time from you - I know that the female part of our team organized a banquet in your honor - therefore, if you don’t mind, let's get started?

- Well I do not know. Let's.

- So, we open your business. - with simulated severity said Katya. - you came to our company back in 2015, to the position of “Programmer 1C”. Well, what is a programmer - I understand, what is 1C? Is it kind of a discharge of something, or a category? First Grade Programmer? Or, as you say, a stack?

“Well, yes, something like a stack.” There was such a platform, very popular. You can still find places where solutions based on it spin. Almost everything worked for us then.

- And then what happened? Out of date?

- Well, how ... The founders of the company, with age, umm ... We retired, and everything rolled down an inclined plane. The platform has ceased to develop, although it’s not really too much ... Some decisions have become clumsy, and the farther, the worse. Segmentation narrowed, Internet technologies in the platform did not develop, and by that time there was no way without it. Something like that.

- Clear. Nevertheless, you worked on it for 15-20 years?

“Well, yes, something like that.” First developed, then supported what was. Then, when it became completely unbearable, they left her.

- And what did you do on this platform? What are the solutions?

- Well ... I don’t know. Many things. Then we had a good team, interesting. Almost everything in the company has automated. Many decisions were made, which were shown at conferences.

- I.e. On behalf of our company, did you speak at conferences with stories about automation experience?

- I myself am not, the boss traveled. He was our ideological inspirer, and he himself programmed, and encouraged us to do this. I also made some cool decisions then, especially in the field of integration.

- Why didn’t you go to the conference yourself?

- Well ... I don’t know. I just didn’t go. It was somehow scary, and why, again ...

- What do you mean why?! At least to get to know about you! After all, if the platform is popular, and you make cool decisions on it, it is very valuable for other employers! Didn't you think about that?

- Well ... I don’t know. I thought, probably. But somehow, it did not work out. Although the guys offered to go, the same boss promised to help with the report. I just made a report once for guidance, on one of the technologies of interactive training and accumulation of big data on UI.

“I didn’t understand everything, okay ... And what, did this report help you?”

- But what about, Katya. They remembered me, I did very well. Then it helped me in my career growth when I needed a programmer’s head.

- Oh, Stanislav Sergeyevich, here I am a fool! You worked as the head of programmers, and I said that you have been in the same position for 40 years! Excuse me, please!

- Why don’t you, Katyusha, I’m not offended. For a long time it was, and not for long, only a few years.

- Oh, and it’s noted here that you participated in the strategic development project of the enterprise! What role did you participate in? What did you do? Very interesting!

- Well ... I don’t know. If you look formally, then I was in the second role.

- On the second?! Those. were you approximately the deputy head of the strategic development project?

- Well, yes, sometimes it really replaced him - he liked to dump in the middle of the day.

- What did you do? Automation?

- Not. Well, or more precisely, they also dealt with automation, but for the most part - they optimized business processes, organized teams, worked with strategic development indicators, increased sales, improved supply, worked with production, and developed design.

“I ... I'm in shock.” You are programmers! How was all this entrusted to you?

- Well ... I don’t know. They did not trust us, they trusted the chief. He made some documents there, proposals, found the key idea of ​​transformations, which the management and owner really liked. It seems that they made a big bet on him and on this project, and he shoved me into this project.

- In the sense of shoved? As a friend?

- Well ... I don’t know. Not as a friend, I was really interested in all this, and it turned out. Nevertheless, it started to go from our IT department, we were really cool, we seriously raised our effectiveness, and I was there, I understood all the methods, the whole essence of this work, and he put me forward.

- And what exactly were you doing? From the above.

- Supply and development. Then there was a method so popular - Scrum, increased the effectiveness of teamwork. So I introduced it in the design department, which was developing new products.

“And what, what were the successes?”

- Oh, this is an interesting story. We then closed the project in a month, which they had been pulling for two years, like rubber.

- Incredible, I'm just amazed at you ... And what did you do with the supply, Stanislav Sergeyevich? Also this Scrum?

- Nearly. Net Scrum was not suitable for supply, because of the unlimited planning horizon - this is not a project activity. They invented a special method involved in Scrum and controlling - it suited their work more. Well, he organized the team, it worked out well. There Tatyana worked as a boss, you don’t know, she’s been retired for a long time.

- And were there any results?

- Of course. We did not have much to do, but we completed the key task - filling the consignment warehouse. Although no one could fulfill it before us, there have always been interruptions.

- These are amazing results, Stanislav Sergeyevich! And ... - Katya hesitated a little, she felt a little uncomfortable due to her own ardor and haste - it was time to ask the next question. - What happened next? It seems that, after such successes, you were destined for the road to top management?

- Well ... I don’t know. There is some kind of complicated story, political. The boss left, generally from the company, and somehow our entire project was quickly shut down ... Despite the results achieved.

- How?! Is that possible? Have you not tried to develop this business? After all, this is probably much more interesting than just being a programmer?

- Well ... I don’t know. Although, what’s there, I know, of course it’s more interesting. But somehow, there, that, this, a new leadership, they set me up as the head of the programmers, new tasks, a new round of automation ... Somehow it all ended by itself.

- Damn, I’m really sorry, even though this story happened many years ago ...

- Yes, I’m also sorry, Kat ... To be honest, I then ... I don’t know ... Well, okay, I’m going to retire ... I felt myself for the first time important, necessary at work, or something ... In order, you know, not to poke around in the computer, not to joke with administrators, but to do something real, useful ...

- I ... I understand you ... You don't believe, but I really understand ... Damn, I'm about to burst into tears ...

- Oh, as if I wouldn’t let a tear come down my bearded cheek ... There was never such a thing, neither before nor after ... How a wonderful dream is recalled, like an oasis with palm trees and a lake in the middle of the desert ... Can you imagine - we, programmers, are ridiculous and foolish they can only joke on users and write govnokod, provided uninterrupted supply of spare parts to the key customer. And they helped to complete the project of developing a new product, which then brought significant profit to the company ... It's like a fairy tale, damn it, about Cinderella ...

- I don’t understand one thing, after all, how could you do it. This is a completely different, specific area. How?

- Well ... I don’t know. As he said ... Tyr-pyrr-rastopyr. The essence, it seems, was that for the organization of any activity you do not need to know its specifics, it is enough to understand the basic principles and something like the type of activity - streaming, project, or tact. And then there are ready-made techniques that need to be adapted to reality, and everything will go wild. By the way, I remembered that we did the motivation systems then, it’s your path ...

- Stanislav Sergeyevich, I’ll go to the director now and will demand that you be left in the company! You are an incredible person! How did you, as a programmer, make motivation systems ?!

- Well ... They did it somehow. This is just the simplest. It is enough to determine what exactly a person needs to pay for, so that it is both beneficial to the company and motivates the employee to the results.

“Is that all?”

- And that’s it. The rest is a matter of technology - to derive an indicator, or several, to automate and go.

- It sounds a bit corny - deduce what a person has to pay for ... Don't you think?

- So the most secrets are hidden in commonplace. Here is a designer, for example - they were paid a salary. Who on a salary will achieve results?

- Well, this is understandable, no one will be, the salary system is flawed in itself.

- Yeah, we replaced them with a salary as a percentage of sales.

- It's like that ... They are not sellers.

- Not sellers, but they create products that are then sold. If their result does not depend on the sale, then they will construct it ad infinitum.

- And if you pay a percentage of sales, then they will be completely raw to give it to production, will not it?

“No, but what's the point?” If you make it raw, they won’t buy at least once. We need a balance of time and quality, but the trick is that before the boss tried to keep this balance, and now the designers themselves. Themselves, ahead of the steam engine, ran to production, watched how their parts were made, helped technologists, explained to the workers - if only to fasten all the jambs and start mass production. Well, and accordingly, they reacted very quickly to the claims - they contacted the designers of the customers, their technical services, settled all issues, went on business trips in order to see the work of the products on the spot. But the main thing - all by yourself, not expecting managers or a kick in the ass. In fact, they didn’t even need a boss.

- Yes ... And how did the personnel department react to such a system?

- Perfectly. Then their boss was Tanechka ... Hmm, this is a coincidence ... Lucky for Tanechok ... She was delighted, she said that she never understood the motivation systems so well as with us. We then took her to the team.

- I’m listening, and I catch myself thinking that I’m ceasing to believe you, Stanislav Sergeyevich. It was painfully beautiful for you. How could it happen that after outstanding success you again became just a programmer?

- Well ... I don’t know. The bosses changed, it seems like they first said that we will continue somehow, and then everything died out, after a couple of months ...

- And you didn’t try to insist, talk with the management, promote the project and, I’m sorry, yourself?

- Well ... I don’t know. Somehow it was not before. The new boss, new projects, we thought then we’ll return ... Well, we never returned. Damn ...

- What?

- Yes, somehow, I forgot about all this ... I don’t know ...

- Does it hurt to remember? Sorry, if you caused negative emotions, Stanislav Sergeyevich, I really didn’t want to. If you need something, you only ...

- What, validol or what? - laughed Stanislav Sergeevich. - Don’t be afraid, Katyusha, I don’t drink and don’t smoke, I don’t complain about my health, I’m not hit enough. It’s just ... I don’t know ... It was like it wasn’t all with me ... Damn ...

- Ok, then I suggest changing the subject! What is all about sad, but sad! It’s written in your case that you were engaged ... now, if I read it correctly ... bitrix?

- Well, Bitrix. Also an unfamiliar word?

- Well, yes, to be honest, I have not heard. Is this technology replacing 1C?

- Nooo, this is technology buried with 1C in a mass grave. - laughed Stanislav Sergeevich. - The development company belonged to 1C, and gradually became strongly attached to the "mother". Well and, accordingly, connected by one chain ...

- What does this mean? Any metaphor?

- Damn, the difference of generations ... The song was like that. In short, Bitrix did not survive. We made a website on it, and tried to build a task management system. It seems like a strategic monitor, to manage the company, they drew.

- It turns out that it is also some kind of platform?

- Not really, rather a craft, a set of tools in php.

- Oh, again a new word. Also from the mass grave?

- Nah, it's a fairy tale. Unhappy php soon 60 years, anniversary! How alive he is today, I won’t know ... Okay, we haven’t been working on it for a long time since Bitrix bent.

- Okay, I get it. Now the question, perhaps unpleasant, if something is wrong, you immediately ...

- Ask not to be afraid, Katyusha, I say, there will not be enough kondraty.

- Good. After this big strategic project, you became the head of programmers. I personally am very interested - with your experience, your knowledge, confirmed results ... Why didn’t you go further up the career ladder? And in general, what did you do as a boss? Also this one ... How is it ...

- Scrum.

- That's right, Scrum implemented? Or what did you do?

- Well ... I don’t know. They didn’t do anything special. As they said then ... "They sit, picking their hands, handshops." And so they lived.

- I can’t understand, to be honest ... They just worked or something, does it happen? Did you complete the tasks? Projects, or what did you have there?

- Well yes. There ... - Stanislav Sergeyevich fell silent, raised his eyes and, for some reason, looked at the ceiling for a long time. Katya did not dare to break the silence, and did not find herself a more suitable occupation than to stare out the window. So they sat for several minutes.

“Then you will edit everything, but since we have such a conversation, I immediately apologize ... We’ve done some shit.” Here is what they did before in a week, they began to do in six months. What used to run and work, somehow everything is sticky, neither of this or that. Then again the leadership changed, again a new course, again the projects threw everything ...

Katya was silent, staring with big eyes at the suddenly bewildered, bearded, who suddenly became such a lost, somehow childishly offended face. She still did not dare to speak.

- Well ... I don’t know. How many times have I thought about this ... It seems that there is no one to blame but yourself ... And there were hands, and head, and knowledge, and experience ... It was possible to build a better IT department, at a conference these, their mother, to go ... I did know then, what to do, and the guys were the same ... But ... Damn ... Igor was then reduced, but I did not protect ...

Stanislav Sergeyevich suddenly sobbed. Katya from the unexpectedness and awkwardness of the situation began to blush, and was already ready to fail on the spot. She had to be a vest for tears before, but so that the old, seasoned, bearded programmer ... With all due respect to him, and to her shame, Katya grew stronger every second in the desire to complete this meeting as soon as possible.

Stanislav Sergeyevich, however, quickly pulled himself together, rubbed his eyes with his fists and smiled encouragingly.

- Okay, Katya, forget it. What happened is gone. Let's move to the end.

- Good, I agree. I have the last question from the unpleasant, let's no foreplay. How did it happen that you lost the position of chief programmer?

- Well, everything is simple here. The fact that soon new technologies will be needed for work was clear to everyone. And everyone began to study them, even seasoned 1Sniks. And somehow I lagged behind, for which I paid.

- How, why? With your horizons, experience, knowledge ...

- Well ... I don’t know. Frankly, I waited a very long time that I would make up my mind and begin to be a real manager, build a career in this direction, apply all the knowledge that I had once received.

“And why not?”

- Well I do not know. It all seemed that the moment was inappropriate, that we had to finish the project, or wait for the end of the year, or learn, or read a book.

- So if you already have experience ...

- Yes, I know, I know, Kat, you can’t talk about this experience already, be it wrong ... I’m an asshole, that’s the answer. As an asshole, he stayed. I got it right, so far there are no people left in the company who can confirm my experience. There was only one fairy tale that there was once a Great Project, and Stanislav Sergeyevich Bearded took part in it.

- Why are you so yourself, Stanislav Sergeyevich. If I’m so mad of you ...

- No, what are you, Katyusha. Believe me, it’s easier. I’ve been trying to answer this question myself all my life, and even in my soul I somehow avoided harsh language, it seemed that there was time ahead, that ... I don’t know ...

- What?

- How do you explain ... It always seemed that there was a person in the world who was responsible for me or something ... Well, that I didn’t have to decide everything myself, that I could still hang around, another day, another week, a year. That he will come, tell me, give an answer, or a direction, or a kick in the ass.

- What kind of person is this?

- Well ... I don’t know. Infantilism is probably some kind of ... Refusal to accept responsibility for one's fate, naivety ... What do you want to call. I never believed that everything is so, somehow it’s like life goes on without thinking about me ... Damn, how can I explain this ...

- I think I understand ...

- You don’t understand, I know for sure, I remember this age ... And I can’t explain. And if I can, then you won’t understand. Okay, let's move on.

- Ah, well, as you say. Further here about some javascript is written. Technology too?

After reading the next line in the case, Katya raised her eyes in anticipation of an answer, but Stanislav Sergeyevich was silent. His eyes, not seeing, looked out the window, as if immersed in a contradictory inner screen of thoughts. Katya again did not dare to break the silence, and with a pretense of thoughtfulness stared at her manicure. Damn it, this old man was already starting to annoy her.

- Ja-va-script. - According to the syllables, Stanislav Sergeyevich muttered long, thoughtful. - This is the programming language that was then the most popular. We made a new information system on it, using the framework ... How is it ... Damn, what difference does it ... In short, Katya, write further that you programmed in javascript, we lived happily and well, automated the whole company, which we are immensely proud of and will remember while sitting in a chair by the fireplace.

- Uh ... Well, I’ll write it.

- No, well, it’s not like that, you know how to do it beautifully, the turns are there, the patterns, mention a couple of projects, they are all there, I have received prizes for them.

“Yes, yes, of course.”

- Everything, let's probably round off, the female team with a banquet really awaits me. Excuse me if something is wrong, so what have I opened up to you like an old senile ...

- “What are you, everything is all right! I understand everything ...

- You understand ... Yes, of course you understand, I’m not your first! Well then all?

- Wait, the last, traditional question: what do you plan to do in retirement?

- Well I do not know. I really don’t know. I'll go to the sea!