Bad advice for 1C programmers

    There are a lot of specific people on Habré. There are programmers, system administrators, enekeyshchiki, technical support employees, project managers, company leaders, product owners, technical writers, etc.

    Each of these professions is absolutely necessary and honorable, and those belonging to it can proudly talk about their experiences, pains, failures and achievements.

    But there is an exception, and you have already guessed who we are talking about. Unhappy, despised, hated, or ignored by most 1Sniki.

    Some of them act boldly and decisively - they try to prove to the whole world that 1C is not an accounting program, it is the coolest platform for business automation, confidently capturing markets, mastering new technologies, creating and developing its own. Such people, of course, cause the strongest response feelings. They are like strong, proud and confident negative movie characters. Well, you know, those that outshine the positive.

    But most 1Snikov, alas, are not like that. Modest, quiet, who consider their “oneness” to be a shameful flaw, mental or physical illness. Reading the Habr, they are forced to hide their "yellow cowards", so as not to be expelled, spat upon and scolded with shame.

    They read about game development, web applications, machine learning, working abroad, Google and Apple, and cry. And then they reject, get angry, quit reading, return to bookkeeping ... But they come back again and read.

    Publication is for them.


    If you are planning a vacation,
    Better in March and in Thailand!
    A year to close without a programmer.
    The chief accountant will be very happy!

    ***

    You
    never create residual registers !
    The guys on the negotiable
    All decide without difficulty!

    But since you got
    That residual register,
    Change the type of measurements - Better “Date” and “String”!

    If they poke their nose:
    Like, the register is not closed.
    Answer what you intended
    Architect, his mother!

    ***

    Integration of solutions
    Your customer wanted?
    What is there to think, an exchange plan!
    Well, the information is register.

    According to store it
    will be for all objects.
    You just need an operator
    to drive records.

    Well, okay, you don’t worry about
    Operators - a carriage,
    Like sharashka’s money,
    To keep a bunch of people.

    Let him find out with whom he contacted,
    This, bitch, 1C!
    The President said that we need
    jobs.

    Is the operator a human being?
    Mortgage, all things.
    Although his work is a monkey ...
    Nothing, it will survive.

    ***

    Catching up on one,
    Do not forget about EDT.
    Well this is the main thing, what is everyone
    lacking in 1C?

    Study it as soon
    as the next release comes out,
    And write that it’s very cool,
    Only a little slows down.

    ***

    Follow the platform releases.
    Watch carefully.
    Suddenly, registers in extensions.
    Will it be possible to add?

    After all, such a life will begin!
    You can completely forget
    Quality and updates
    Just code, damn it, that's all!

    Nafigachit a bunch of files
    Connect one by one
    Well, and the hemorrhagic and conflicts ...
    Somehow then we decide.

    ***

    In negotiations it is better to
    Smile and nod.
    And do not specify the details,
    Say "Yes, we will solve everything."

    Dudes increase income,
    And reduce costs,
    Efficiency and cash flow
    Promise to raise at times.

    Otherwise, they’ll suddenly say,
    What are you - just a programmer?
    And incomes and expenses
    For you - accounts in the BU?

    How can they, damn it, increase?
    That's because mediocrity around ...
    There is a double entry, kids!
    And the platform balance.

    Well, then, in the process,
    you will incline them to TK.
    And with TK your brain is free,
    You can no longer be wiser.

    Just write a program,
    document, register, report.
    Need, no ... What the fuck ...
    The main thing is that according to the statement of work.

    ***

    Do not invent solutions that
    can live twice.
    The second time, for the same money,
    you will not sell immortality.

    Each loser pays the path
    Again, again and again.
    For solving the problem,
    which was solved many times.

    You - the creator, in the end, though,
    and made a surrogate.
    After all, a surrogate can also
    ride for a masterpiece?

    ***

    If someone suddenly wrote
    Public about another framework -
    Plyusani quickly,
    And then close the month.

    That's why
    Technologies are created cool:
    So as not to dine for good,
    And read and ply.

    *** The

    word “efficiency” began.
    Your boss said -
    Run away from him sooner,
    He is dangerously infected.

    He will begin to count all the numbers,
    And check the tasks,
    And he will not let you
    mourn for a long time on the Internet.

    Says: “You can do more!
    Get more money! ”
    After all, he does not know that the
    Programmer does not need money ?

    He begins to climb into your soul,
    Motivate for takeoff.
    I probably did not read the
    Book in my childhood , where is the falcon, and so on.

    Go to the factory to work,
    What's more, more powerful.
    It’s okay to sit there.
    It’s exactly possible for a couple of years.

    Be friendly with bookkeeping,
    You’re the exchanger for them,
    Only about Thailand in March.
    Oh, you have to forget.

    ***

    If someone
    posted a publication on the Internet -
    Do not be wise, go to the comments,
    And start a holivar there!

    Write: “Everything in the article is crap, you
    didn’t stand at the machine!
    Only I, alone, know everything! ”
    (No one will check).

    And do not succumb to the feeling, If
    you are a fucking deer,
    Since you do not publish
    Your brilliant experience , and talent.

    You will
    fall into the same trap, If you send your public.
    They will shit ... "All crap!" They will say ...
    "You weren’t standing at the machine!"

    Better, nevertheless, quietly To
    crap in the comments.
    Suddenly there is someone who will appreciate
    How are you infinitely cool?

    He will invite you to work, He
    will say: “You write, dude!”
    Only cool comments
    can change our world!

    ***

    If somewhere you heard,
    Like, shit that 1C. Take a look
    around: according to
    e. With this opinion, the majority?

    If so, shout out louder
    “Yes! Shit! Neither give nor take! ”
    You never know, it suddenly comes out sideways.
    And to hell with her ... Forgive me ...

    If not - cheers! Its all!
    Maybe Event Infostart?
    Shout: “1C forever!”
    And again you are well done.

    Well, if you, by chance,
    Suddenly on a hubr, my friend, got,
    Do not mention briefly,
    What is familiar with the chart of accounts!

    Stigmatize you,
    Karma blushes instantly ...
    Better to be there mmm ...
    always latent Odinasnik.

    ***
    If someone tells you

    Read books, my friend”, Send him away!
    Let him read, Chukchi, himself.

    A programmer - he is not a reader,
    he is a writer, he writes code.
    (Well, the fact that they don’t read the
    Code is what does it mean ?)

    Books are written by nouveau riches
    to sell to fools.
    There is no use there, no knowledge there.
    Only water and zombies.

    The programmer will figure
    it out himself . He has the Internet.
    But, and the Internet is not needed - Everything is written in TK.

    Props which add,
    Form, button and register.
    And it is useful, or harmful - The
    signatory answers.

    ***

    Well, and most importantly, do not worry!
    Keep it as it is.
    After all, in the end, beautiful
    Is your current life?

    And she was always beautiful,
    And you dreamed about it,
    And she goes according to plan,
    As Letov bequeathed to us ...

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