Comics about sysadmins: the whole life flashed before my eyes
It was the most inappropriate use of working time in the history of our team ... But before that, the office heard the phrase: “I found a 1996 comic here! About admins. The spirit of adventurism awoke in us and we decided to collect various comics and observe how the system administrators' system of values evolved: something went into non-existence, something new appeared. It turned out a lot of pictures, little text and a lot of sense. In general, Habr, this can not be shared. Give nostalgia with tears in the eyes in the middle of the week!
Source: I cried. The source was suggested in the comments.
We are the Alloy Software team . We make accounting, control and automation systems for the IT infrastructure and, in fact, therefore are associated with system administration like no other company. About the headaches (and not only) the pains of admins, about problems, trends, attempts to get along with management and knock out software and technology, we know everything about careless and too zealous users. And without humor there is no way to live. We chose comics for which we could determine with maximum accuracy the release date or one of the first publications. If you have your collections - share in the comments, remember it was together.
Sysadmin, because you can not work just "cool dude." (And yes, we exclude other translations of the word badass! Only cool pepper!)
In 1996, even before the crisis of dotcoms and clouds, the world was different: the Internet was slow, the modem was squeaking, users were afraid to press an extra key, and companies were saving almost everything, especially on software updates (you might think that now ).
People who always buy version 1.0 and never upgrade anything.
System administrators are perhaps the most legendary personalities in the IT field. These are rescuers flying to help, and when help is not needed - ordinary loafers (according to colleagues). But in fact, these guys have more responsibilities than running a call from the accounting department to the secretariat and back. And least of all in the world, sysadmins like advanced users who have mastered root and sudo, but they don’t remember what rm -rf means, and they experiment right in the living workplace.
Alan - a system administrator in a fairly successful company engaged in the development of embedded software. All entered under the root. Alan: QUICKLY GOT EVERYTHING! GOT NOW! Alan is a little excited. Alan: “Just because I don’t care.” The
eternal opposition to Linux and Windows began a long time ago, and even the latest trends and oaths of Sat Allah, that, say, Windows loves Linux, are not able to stop this sweet and memorable confrontation. More operating systems, good and "to dig deeper" (Gentoo one love).
We suck more! and it is guaranteed
Users are the most beautiful thing in the life of system administrators. If it were not for them, admins would have lost their jobs and went around the world to tinker and solder (although most likely to finish building Skynet). They think admins are lazy, their admins are noobs and bimbo, whatever that means. Especially those who work with 1C and those who shove paper into the printer. Love is mutual.
- Hey, do you know that Friday is the day of worship of a sysadmin?
“But ... he's July 27th ...
” “Yes?” So what?
- That doesn't seem right to me.
- What do you mean by that “it doesn't seem right”? And what do you think is more correct ?!
- Well, for starters, it would be better to choose the shortest day of the year.
- Sing it! Sing, I said! You know you want to sing it!
- No, no and NO!
- Oh, you do not want! Then I will set you the password “Gikirulyat” and will make it so that you can never change it.
- Oh, okay, okay!
- (sings) You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when the sky seems gray ...
- Yeah-hh, I'm a sysadmin. Worship me.
System administrators are in second place for security. Well, in fact, it is on the first, but users, of course, do not know. So sometimes you want to encrypt the CIO or the boss - not so much for security reasons, but for harm.
This is our CIO. It is encrypted for security purposes.
Users generally like to talk from the PC directly to the “you” and then call the admin.
- Click ANY KEY.
- A / N / Y - okay. And ...
- Do you want to save changes to the file?
- So ... N.
- Are you sure?
- Y.
Uhhhhh ...
- (admin call) Why is it my skin chills?
Sometimes system administrators take revenge - most often on April 1, when thin stickers are glued to the laser mice. And just in 2003 it was possible to deploy the desktop on XP-shke and watch how the user goes crazy and forgets to drink morning tea.
System administrator's revenge:
- Will toilet paper distribution services be available for Windows users?
- Not.
No fingerprints, no photo ID, no SNILS number. I'm afraid your baby poses a serious security risk.
Whatever happens in the office, the hope is always on the system administrators. However, users rarely try to protect their own work. What is strange - in fact lost work is very pitiful.
- You did not make backups?
- The answer to your question - NO, did not.
- I just want to make sure: you have not done the very data we earn?
- Yes sir.
- And what exactly do you plan to do when you lose all the key data?
- I'll call you.
- Make me a sandwich.
- What? Do it yourself!
- -sudo Make me a sandwich.
- I'm on my way.
By the way, the most common story is when the sysadmin comes in and the idle system starts working normally. There are versions that this is PC magic or fear of the master. Sometimes it's easier. As in the old bike:
According to the user:
- The computer did not work. The admin came, raised his hands to the sky, muttered some spells, spun my chair 3 times around his axis, kicked the computer - and a miracle happened - he earned !!!
According to the admin:
- Call. I run to the user. This dolben spun on a new chair so that the power cable wound on the leg and pulled out of the unit. Seeing this, I put my hands to heaven, I utter several three-story curses, unwind the cable, shove the computer with my foot away under the table and turn it on. User looks square eyes.
A few unnoticed system administrator roles.
Wizard
- Strange ... Right now, when you're here, it works, but I swear it didn't work a few minutes ago. How do you do that?
- Magic.
Doctor
- Recently, she barely moves, but if you have a good start, it becomes hotter ...
- I advise 4 Giga RAM and reinstall.
- I was talking about my wife, not about a laptop.
- I, too.
Bouncer
server. Only for VIP!
- Get out of here, losers!
Zombies (at three in the morning)
- Server ... fell ... you need ... to repair ... this ... server ...
The reasons why it seems that people working with PCs have free time. At the system administrator - everything reboots. (In general, the picture has become legendary).
Web developer: It is loading. Sysadmin: It reboots. Hacker: it is automated. 3D illustrator: It is rendered. IT Consultant: Now this is your problem. Programmer: It compiles.
Users tend to look for causes of damage not in themselves, but in the outside world: elves, gnomes, electricity, and the top-end "it is itself." And it's in 147 open tabs, for example.
So this is why the Internet sometimes slows down ...
Vendors also delight - of course, Microsoft is no longer catching up, but Cisco has tried its best in network technologies. Hiccups to both.
If Cisco had invented the wheel.
Ordinary users in companies for the most part not only do not know about AdBlock, but also click on everything that caught their eye. They, the poor, had Dima Bilan mourned a hundred times, parasites flew out, cured soda and a lot of money came from Azino777. And then admin admin treat the whole zoo on user machines.
Surfing without AdBlock:
- Facebook passion! PUSH!
- Twitter for adult boys. Join us
- Damn, why all porn sites are forced to disguise as these?
- We are like Google Reader for BDSM ...
- Come on ...
- Try the new GitHub for lesbians!
- OK. Um, wait, what ?!
Loader, installer, cleaner, eniky - guess who he is? That's right, system administrator.
The sysadmin in the gym and at work: works with a burden, pumps the press, works for balance, walks with an important look
How to kill a sysadmin in one phrase:
- If your security system were better, nobody would care if I had the password “password”.
The sysadmin is looking for work in the era of cloud technologies:
- When Google or Amazon will fall down, there are no problems: just shout at me.
The authorities can also unrealistically enrage. Especially when in case of server crash, service, disconnect, etc. write immediately all the tops, department heads and colleagues. Do they really think that the sysadmin is not monitoring the situation and is not the first to know about the incident?
- Server dropped.
- I know.
- You need to do something about it.
- I'm trying to.
- What's stopping you?
- I was constantly distracted by a stupid idiot.
- Maybe I can help? I will guard the door so that this dude will never break through to you! Hmm, this is boring. And there is no one here. Can I do something else?
- You did it.
The category of requests to the system administrator is always clearly defined and has two flags: urgent and important. Even the ticket system does not stop the flow of calls, lines in the messenger, and even messages in a personal on social networks.
Even the sysadmin's professional holiday is just another ordinary day in the life of the system administrator ...
At the post office: Help, I cannot fill out the form, the system refuses access!
Bell: Hi, I have a mistake. I can’t add my expenses to the system!
Boss: I can not log in, solve it immediately!
At the beginning of the second decade, network engineers are often entrusted with the work of network engineers, and this leads to huge overloads of people at work. This is especially true for small companies that don’t take a couple of people into the state, they huddle for outsourcing, and they don’t buy profile software. It is difficult.
Fred, here somewhere the ethernet cable has fallen off.
Life of a network engineer. By the way, the boss does not just think, he demands it to be so - and the budget is only enough for the stingy reality.
Everything that was the terminology of programmers and system administrators turned into aplicus.
Classic problem solving algorithm. By the way, spawned many analogs, especially for scientists
Sometimes users are full of gratitude. And nifiga is not one day of the year, but two is still on the admin's birthday ...
I do not understand all this hype around. We work with deaf OPS over the years! (pun: Dev / Deaf)
Microsoft quite ironically congratulated system administrators on their professional holiday. The guys know the exact topic!
Various types of aaS and cloud technologies are becoming more and more popular, but the role of the system administrator is only growing - because you need to be responsible for the internal infrastructure, and for the external one, take care of security, and train users.
The best gift for the day of the sysadmin is to separate the most advanced and zealous users from the PC.
DevOps is developing - a complex, but interesting development system in software companies. Now the system administrator is also a bit of a developer, and the developer is a bit of a sysadmin.
- We have the best DevOps practices. Let's list some of the benefits we got from implementing DevOps!
- Automated unit tests!
- Configuration as a code!
- What about dashboards and best insights?
- I love the Minecraft server!
- Minecraft Server is not part of DevOps.
- Oops, uh ... Environments that unfold without the participation of a sysadmin, for example!
By the way, the clouds have not become a magic pill - the good ones are still expensive, and the news about security problems appears with an enviable frequency. Yet your server is closer to the body.
Cloud vendor refers to the beehive:
- You can consider your system as efficient as possible, but you have not seen it yet!
Calling SecDevOps is far from the most important thing in the process.
If no one remembers when my birthday is, why is it considered a bad password?
Pathetic :-) DevOps tears down the walls
Linux:
- Hi, buddy!
- Hi, Linux!
- I have some updates, do you want to upgrade?
- I am pleased with what I have at the moment, please leave.
- Yes, of course, no question! I respect your decision!
- Until!
Windows:
- Hi, buddy!
“Oh, damn it ...
” “How about updates?”
- I am pleased with what I have at the moment, please leave.
“What did you just say to me?”
- Uh ... I ... Sorry ... I just ...
- I’ll update, whether you like it or not, you little bugger! You think you can use outdated software, do you think this is normal? I will push updates to you in the throat until you love me.
- Yes, yes, I'm sorry ...
Once in the usual Linux kernel ...
- What happens to these zombie processes?
“Their parent process is too busy to receive any notifications ...”
Just a little - sysadmi-and-and-and-and-n! By the way, the original is Russian, but there is also an “import” copy.
The main paradox of the sysadmin.
- Bardak! Nothing works! What the fuck am I paying money to this sysadmin ?!
- Everything works fine! What the fuck am I paying money to this sysadmin ?!
Can Chuck Norris write a script on PowerShell?
Between hell and PowerShell, hell sometimes looks less severe.
Pay attention to the comics with clouds - they are all about convenience, moving to a cloud with a catapult, clouds, etc. But only one of them really and correctly reflects the situation.
- I upload data to the cloud.
- I’m sure that this is done somehow wrong ...
- What do you want to be when you grow up? Thundercloud?
- Cloud data storage.
This is what happens when you reach the free disk space limit in the cloud storage.
Since we migrated to the cloud, he has been in seventh heaven (from happiness)! (Of course, this is not so)
This one, with green men, highlights the main essence and in some ways the main problem of cloud storage.
- According to this piece of paper, planet Earth was inhabited by people, but in 2012 ...
- ... they were transported into the clouds ...
Life moves on - on the queue microservices, highly loaded systems, Docker. And again, system administrators on horseback, they are building a new perfect and less cumbersome IT infrastructure. Or do not build, continuing to work in the old manner.
Thank you, Docker, for our unloaded CPUs.
When your boss said that we are switching to microservices
Of course, in Russian realities, we should not forget about the cat, Schröder and accounting from 1C, the greedy leaders and the nimble young developers who yesterday deployed WoT, and today they will decide to mine on the working servers. Our people are too smart for the system administrator to live in peace.
But you know what ... You still take care of system administrators - without them, everything will rise, checked. And yes, taking this opportunity, the Alloy Software teamreminds: the admin does not drink chocolate.
You can look at our ITSM systems on our website . They fit the business of any scale - most importantly, the desire to keep IT infrastructure in order.
Source: I cried. The source was suggested in the comments.
We are the Alloy Software team . We make accounting, control and automation systems for the IT infrastructure and, in fact, therefore are associated with system administration like no other company. About the headaches (and not only) the pains of admins, about problems, trends, attempts to get along with management and knock out software and technology, we know everything about careless and too zealous users. And without humor there is no way to live. We chose comics for which we could determine with maximum accuracy the release date or one of the first publications. If you have your collections - share in the comments, remember it was together.
Sysadmin, because you can not work just "cool dude." (And yes, we exclude other translations of the word badass! Only cool pepper!)
1996
In 1996, even before the crisis of dotcoms and clouds, the world was different: the Internet was slow, the modem was squeaking, users were afraid to press an extra key, and companies were saving almost everything, especially on software updates (you might think that now ).
2001
System administrators are perhaps the most legendary personalities in the IT field. These are rescuers flying to help, and when help is not needed - ordinary loafers (according to colleagues). But in fact, these guys have more responsibilities than running a call from the accounting department to the secretariat and back. And least of all in the world, sysadmins like advanced users who have mastered root and sudo, but they don’t remember what rm -rf means, and they experiment right in the living workplace.
Alan - a system administrator in a fairly successful company engaged in the development of embedded software. All entered under the root. Alan: QUICKLY GOT EVERYTHING! GOT NOW! Alan is a little excited. Alan: “Just because I don’t care.” The
eternal opposition to Linux and Windows began a long time ago, and even the latest trends and oaths of Sat Allah, that, say, Windows loves Linux, are not able to stop this sweet and memorable confrontation. More operating systems, good and "to dig deeper" (Gentoo one love).
We suck more! and it is guaranteed
2002
Users are the most beautiful thing in the life of system administrators. If it were not for them, admins would have lost their jobs and went around the world to tinker and solder (although most likely to finish building Skynet). They think admins are lazy, their admins are noobs and bimbo, whatever that means. Especially those who work with 1C and those who shove paper into the printer. Love is mutual.
- Hey, do you know that Friday is the day of worship of a sysadmin?
“But ... he's July 27th ...
” “Yes?” So what?
- That doesn't seem right to me.
- What do you mean by that “it doesn't seem right”? And what do you think is more correct ?!
- Well, for starters, it would be better to choose the shortest day of the year.
- Sing it! Sing, I said! You know you want to sing it!
- No, no and NO!
- Oh, you do not want! Then I will set you the password “Gikirulyat” and will make it so that you can never change it.
- Oh, okay, okay!
- (sings) You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when the sky seems gray ...
- Yeah-hh, I'm a sysadmin. Worship me.
System administrators are in second place for security. Well, in fact, it is on the first, but users, of course, do not know. So sometimes you want to encrypt the CIO or the boss - not so much for security reasons, but for harm.
This is our CIO. It is encrypted for security purposes.
2003
Users generally like to talk from the PC directly to the “you” and then call the admin.
- Click ANY KEY.
- A / N / Y - okay. And ...
- Do you want to save changes to the file?
- So ... N.
- Are you sure?
- Y.
Uhhhhh ...
- (admin call) Why is it my skin chills?
Sometimes system administrators take revenge - most often on April 1, when thin stickers are glued to the laser mice. And just in 2003 it was possible to deploy the desktop on XP-shke and watch how the user goes crazy and forgets to drink morning tea.
System administrator's revenge:
- Will toilet paper distribution services be available for Windows users?
- Not.
2006
No fingerprints, no photo ID, no SNILS number. I'm afraid your baby poses a serious security risk.
2007
Whatever happens in the office, the hope is always on the system administrators. However, users rarely try to protect their own work. What is strange - in fact lost work is very pitiful.
- You did not make backups?
- The answer to your question - NO, did not.
- I just want to make sure: you have not done the very data we earn?
- Yes sir.
- And what exactly do you plan to do when you lose all the key data?
- I'll call you.
2008
- Make me a sandwich.
- What? Do it yourself!
- -sudo Make me a sandwich.
- I'm on my way.
2009
By the way, the most common story is when the sysadmin comes in and the idle system starts working normally. There are versions that this is PC magic or fear of the master. Sometimes it's easier. As in the old bike:
According to the user:
- The computer did not work. The admin came, raised his hands to the sky, muttered some spells, spun my chair 3 times around his axis, kicked the computer - and a miracle happened - he earned !!!
According to the admin:
- Call. I run to the user. This dolben spun on a new chair so that the power cable wound on the leg and pulled out of the unit. Seeing this, I put my hands to heaven, I utter several three-story curses, unwind the cable, shove the computer with my foot away under the table and turn it on. User looks square eyes.
A few unnoticed system administrator roles.
Wizard
- Strange ... Right now, when you're here, it works, but I swear it didn't work a few minutes ago. How do you do that?
- Magic.
Doctor
- Recently, she barely moves, but if you have a good start, it becomes hotter ...
- I advise 4 Giga RAM and reinstall.
- I was talking about my wife, not about a laptop.
- I, too.
Bouncer
server. Only for VIP!
- Get out of here, losers!
Zombies (at three in the morning)
- Server ... fell ... you need ... to repair ... this ... server ...
The reasons why it seems that people working with PCs have free time. At the system administrator - everything reboots. (In general, the picture has become legendary).
Web developer: It is loading. Sysadmin: It reboots. Hacker: it is automated. 3D illustrator: It is rendered. IT Consultant: Now this is your problem. Programmer: It compiles.
Users tend to look for causes of damage not in themselves, but in the outside world: elves, gnomes, electricity, and the top-end "it is itself." And it's in 147 open tabs, for example.
So this is why the Internet sometimes slows down ...
Vendors also delight - of course, Microsoft is no longer catching up, but Cisco has tried its best in network technologies. Hiccups to both.
If Cisco had invented the wheel.
2010
Ordinary users in companies for the most part not only do not know about AdBlock, but also click on everything that caught their eye. They, the poor, had Dima Bilan mourned a hundred times, parasites flew out, cured soda and a lot of money came from Azino777. And then admin admin treat the whole zoo on user machines.
Surfing without AdBlock:
- Facebook passion! PUSH!
- Twitter for adult boys. Join us
- Damn, why all porn sites are forced to disguise as these?
- We are like Google Reader for BDSM ...
- Come on ...
- Try the new GitHub for lesbians!
- OK. Um, wait, what ?!
2011
Loader, installer, cleaner, eniky - guess who he is? That's right, system administrator.
The sysadmin in the gym and at work: works with a burden, pumps the press, works for balance, walks with an important look
How to kill a sysadmin in one phrase:
- If your security system were better, nobody would care if I had the password “password”.
The sysadmin is looking for work in the era of cloud technologies:
- When Google or Amazon will fall down, there are no problems: just shout at me.
The authorities can also unrealistically enrage. Especially when in case of server crash, service, disconnect, etc. write immediately all the tops, department heads and colleagues. Do they really think that the sysadmin is not monitoring the situation and is not the first to know about the incident?
- Server dropped.
- I know.
- You need to do something about it.
- I'm trying to.
- What's stopping you?
- I was constantly distracted by a stupid idiot.
- Maybe I can help? I will guard the door so that this dude will never break through to you! Hmm, this is boring. And there is no one here. Can I do something else?
- You did it.
The category of requests to the system administrator is always clearly defined and has two flags: urgent and important. Even the ticket system does not stop the flow of calls, lines in the messenger, and even messages in a personal on social networks.
Even the sysadmin's professional holiday is just another ordinary day in the life of the system administrator ...
At the post office: Help, I cannot fill out the form, the system refuses access!
Bell: Hi, I have a mistake. I can’t add my expenses to the system!
Boss: I can not log in, solve it immediately!
2012
At the beginning of the second decade, network engineers are often entrusted with the work of network engineers, and this leads to huge overloads of people at work. This is especially true for small companies that don’t take a couple of people into the state, they huddle for outsourcing, and they don’t buy profile software. It is difficult.
Fred, here somewhere the ethernet cable has fallen off.
Life of a network engineer. By the way, the boss does not just think, he demands it to be so - and the budget is only enough for the stingy reality.
Everything that was the terminology of programmers and system administrators turned into aplicus.
Classic problem solving algorithm. By the way, spawned many analogs, especially for scientists
2014
Sometimes users are full of gratitude. And nifiga is not one day of the year, but two is still on the admin's birthday ...
I do not understand all this hype around. We work with deaf OPS over the years! (pun: Dev / Deaf)
Microsoft quite ironically congratulated system administrators on their professional holiday. The guys know the exact topic!
2015
Various types of aaS and cloud technologies are becoming more and more popular, but the role of the system administrator is only growing - because you need to be responsible for the internal infrastructure, and for the external one, take care of security, and train users.
The best gift for the day of the sysadmin is to separate the most advanced and zealous users from the PC.
DevOps is developing - a complex, but interesting development system in software companies. Now the system administrator is also a bit of a developer, and the developer is a bit of a sysadmin.
- We have the best DevOps practices. Let's list some of the benefits we got from implementing DevOps!
- Automated unit tests!
- Configuration as a code!
- What about dashboards and best insights?
- I love the Minecraft server!
- Minecraft Server is not part of DevOps.
- Oops, uh ... Environments that unfold without the participation of a sysadmin, for example!
By the way, the clouds have not become a magic pill - the good ones are still expensive, and the news about security problems appears with an enviable frequency. Yet your server is closer to the body.
Cloud vendor refers to the beehive:
- You can consider your system as efficient as possible, but you have not seen it yet!
Calling SecDevOps is far from the most important thing in the process.
2016
If no one remembers when my birthday is, why is it considered a bad password?
2017
Pathetic :-) DevOps tears down the walls
About the eternal
Windows vs Linux
Linux:
- Hi, buddy!
- Hi, Linux!
- I have some updates, do you want to upgrade?
- I am pleased with what I have at the moment, please leave.
- Yes, of course, no question! I respect your decision!
- Until!
Windows:
- Hi, buddy!
“Oh, damn it ...
” “How about updates?”
- I am pleased with what I have at the moment, please leave.
“What did you just say to me?”
- Uh ... I ... Sorry ... I just ...
- I’ll update, whether you like it or not, you little bugger! You think you can use outdated software, do you think this is normal? I will push updates to you in the throat until you love me.
- Yes, yes, I'm sorry ...
Once in the usual Linux kernel ...
- What happens to these zombie processes?
“Their parent process is too busy to receive any notifications ...”
Sisadmiiiiiin!
Just a little - sysadmi-and-and-and-and-n! By the way, the original is Russian, but there is also an “import” copy.
The main paradox of the sysadmin.
- Bardak! Nothing works! What the fuck am I paying money to this sysadmin ?!
- Everything works fine! What the fuck am I paying money to this sysadmin ?!
PowerShell: friend and foe without
Can Chuck Norris write a script on PowerShell?
Between hell and PowerShell, hell sometimes looks less severe.
Cloud technologies
Pay attention to the comics with clouds - they are all about convenience, moving to a cloud with a catapult, clouds, etc. But only one of them really and correctly reflects the situation.
- I upload data to the cloud.
- I’m sure that this is done somehow wrong ...
- What do you want to be when you grow up? Thundercloud?
- Cloud data storage.
This is what happens when you reach the free disk space limit in the cloud storage.
Since we migrated to the cloud, he has been in seventh heaven (from happiness)! (Of course, this is not so)
This one, with green men, highlights the main essence and in some ways the main problem of cloud storage.
- According to this piece of paper, planet Earth was inhabited by people, but in 2012 ...
- ... they were transported into the clouds ...
New reality
Life moves on - on the queue microservices, highly loaded systems, Docker. And again, system administrators on horseback, they are building a new perfect and less cumbersome IT infrastructure. Or do not build, continuing to work in the old manner.
Thank you, Docker, for our unloaded CPUs.
When your boss said that we are switching to microservices
Of course, in Russian realities, we should not forget about the cat, Schröder and accounting from 1C, the greedy leaders and the nimble young developers who yesterday deployed WoT, and today they will decide to mine on the working servers. Our people are too smart for the system administrator to live in peace.
But you know what ... You still take care of system administrators - without them, everything will rise, checked. And yes, taking this opportunity, the Alloy Software teamreminds: the admin does not drink chocolate.
You can look at our ITSM systems on our website . They fit the business of any scale - most importantly, the desire to keep IT infrastructure in order.