January 28, 2010 at 12:53Manage your emotions!
As promised, I will try as a continuation of the topic about giving myself, touch on a rather controversial area - the area of emotions and try to tell how managing emotions can help in difficult times.
I’ll warn you right away: I myself can hardly cope with my emotions, not right away, sometimes auxiliary methods are required. But on the other hand, what are these emotions if they are so easily defeated? No, emotions are the essence of our life, and the stronger they are, the brighter is life. But still, sometimes oh how I want to quench some of them. How?
I don’t promise any revelations here, but I’ll try to talk about purely practical methods of mastering myself :)
So, the postulate: emotions always arise. Their eradication is possible. But only in the grave. Emotions are both positive and negative. Both of them are usually impossible to hide. If you are engulfed in a flame of love, then the whole world knows about it, including the radio presenter from your headphones, and if you quarreled in vain ... It’s better not to come close to you :)
How do we know what the interlocutor’s mood is? From gestures, slightly more energetic words, the dictionary used.
The paradox is that the interlocutor, as a rule, perceives, say, the aggression emanating from you, at his own expense. And involuntarily straining, they say what he did? Agree that talking with a person who is starting to swear at nothing for nothing or with foam at the mouth to prove something is quite difficult and unpleasant.
First reception:if you are talking with a person and you are in a bad mood, cats shout at heart and generally feel like choking, often help out loud and openly tell him that the reason for your mental illness is not in him. Thus, you can get a sympathizer from an opponent. And in this vein, it is much easier to communicate. Just don’t have to dump all your problems on him and whine, how bad it is for you - not many like to solve other people's problems for free :)
However, it also happens that you go to work (study, meeting) in a good mood, but there you are subjected to cruel pressure. Unfortunately, in our boyish society, this is customary: to check the interlocutor for strength and convey your thoughts with the hammer. This is unpleasant, but it’s better to learn how to deal with it. With his indignation, with a storm of negativity, they say what right he has and what he imagined!
Reception of the second:if you feel that you are being run over, pressured, threatened with punishment, you just need to ... wait. Say nothing, but try to stay calm. Let the storm blow out. It acts in the best way for the hitter. To “swallow” the spilled out one can imagine oneself as a warm, huge sea. And stones are thrown at him. The sea will swallow stones easily and without a trace, remaining all the same warm and pleasant. If after the arrivals you can sincerely say: “Yes, I love you too,” then you have mastered this technique perfectly.
It also happens that they run into the case. They screwed up, forgot, did not take into account. And internally, you agree with your opponent, but no one likes to feel guilty. And a mistake is made - excuses begin. Excuses only aggravate the opponent’s abuse, because he sees that you are slipping away from the press. He begins to find and think out the touches of the problem (yes, I told you 5 years ago - teach lessons!) And convinces himself of your failure. However, there is a way out. He is a very simple
third reception:do not make excuses. Take the blame, or rather the part that is really yours. If the opponent sees that he has reached his “goal” (because the goal is generally good - to set you on the right path), he himself begins to look more critically at the “irrefutable evidence of your depravity” and he will remove some of them :) Only chur: sincerely! A phrase like: “Yes, yes, I know, I'm a sucker. What do you want from me! ” not good :)
By the way, for some reason it is customary in our society to exaggerate negative ones and stop positive emotions. Irritation and discontent have become the typical behavior of many. Do not give in! Let your own joy be a stronger atmosphere than others! Radiate joy, openness, kindness, readiness for dialogue and people will turn to you their best side!
PS By the way, I’ll also tell you about creating an atmosphere and “hacking” someone else’s, but not now, so as not to mix 2 topics.
I’ll warn you right away: I myself can hardly cope with my emotions, not right away, sometimes auxiliary methods are required. But on the other hand, what are these emotions if they are so easily defeated? No, emotions are the essence of our life, and the stronger they are, the brighter is life. But still, sometimes oh how I want to quench some of them. How?
I don’t promise any revelations here, but I’ll try to talk about purely practical methods of mastering myself :)
So, the postulate: emotions always arise. Their eradication is possible. But only in the grave. Emotions are both positive and negative. Both of them are usually impossible to hide. If you are engulfed in a flame of love, then the whole world knows about it, including the radio presenter from your headphones, and if you quarreled in vain ... It’s better not to come close to you :)
How do we know what the interlocutor’s mood is? From gestures, slightly more energetic words, the dictionary used.
The paradox is that the interlocutor, as a rule, perceives, say, the aggression emanating from you, at his own expense. And involuntarily straining, they say what he did? Agree that talking with a person who is starting to swear at nothing for nothing or with foam at the mouth to prove something is quite difficult and unpleasant.
First reception:if you are talking with a person and you are in a bad mood, cats shout at heart and generally feel like choking, often help out loud and openly tell him that the reason for your mental illness is not in him. Thus, you can get a sympathizer from an opponent. And in this vein, it is much easier to communicate. Just don’t have to dump all your problems on him and whine, how bad it is for you - not many like to solve other people's problems for free :)
However, it also happens that you go to work (study, meeting) in a good mood, but there you are subjected to cruel pressure. Unfortunately, in our boyish society, this is customary: to check the interlocutor for strength and convey your thoughts with the hammer. This is unpleasant, but it’s better to learn how to deal with it. With his indignation, with a storm of negativity, they say what right he has and what he imagined!
Reception of the second:if you feel that you are being run over, pressured, threatened with punishment, you just need to ... wait. Say nothing, but try to stay calm. Let the storm blow out. It acts in the best way for the hitter. To “swallow” the spilled out one can imagine oneself as a warm, huge sea. And stones are thrown at him. The sea will swallow stones easily and without a trace, remaining all the same warm and pleasant. If after the arrivals you can sincerely say: “Yes, I love you too,” then you have mastered this technique perfectly.
It also happens that they run into the case. They screwed up, forgot, did not take into account. And internally, you agree with your opponent, but no one likes to feel guilty. And a mistake is made - excuses begin. Excuses only aggravate the opponent’s abuse, because he sees that you are slipping away from the press. He begins to find and think out the touches of the problem (yes, I told you 5 years ago - teach lessons!) And convinces himself of your failure. However, there is a way out. He is a very simple
third reception:do not make excuses. Take the blame, or rather the part that is really yours. If the opponent sees that he has reached his “goal” (because the goal is generally good - to set you on the right path), he himself begins to look more critically at the “irrefutable evidence of your depravity” and he will remove some of them :) Only chur: sincerely! A phrase like: “Yes, yes, I know, I'm a sucker. What do you want from me! ” not good :)
By the way, for some reason it is customary in our society to exaggerate negative ones and stop positive emotions. Irritation and discontent have become the typical behavior of many. Do not give in! Let your own joy be a stronger atmosphere than others! Radiate joy, openness, kindness, readiness for dialogue and people will turn to you their best side!
PS By the way, I’ll also tell you about creating an atmosphere and “hacking” someone else’s, but not now, so as not to mix 2 topics.