Do not treat me, doctor

    When collecting reports for voting to participate in one specialized conference, I wanted to tell such a topic - how to hook the quality director. This would be an opportunistic report on career development for a programmer or a CIO.

    On the one hand, growth in the direction of the quality director seems strange - this seems to be a completely different area. But, as we all already know, something interesting can grow out of a programmer. It is not only I say this thought sounds more and more often. For example, at the same conference of the other year there was a report on this topic - how in the west CIOs go to non-IT operational management.

    The topic of quality management personally seems incredible to me, just terribly interesting and extremely useful. Not because quality management is like the new season of Sherlock or Jack Bauer, who has shaken the old days. Simply, quality management in our country is an example of an exceptionally arrogant, cynical, elementary, stupid, and therefore surprisingly effective charlatanism.

    I do not know of any other branch of knowledge in which the same number of people who do not understand anything in their profession would work. This is not a joke, not a hyperbole. I’ve been watching these guys for more than 15 years — ever since the ISO certificate was still a prestigious rarity. I worked with quality directors and specialists, consultants and auditors, university lecturers and presidents of associations, students and graduate students. How many of them do you think know and understand what quality management is and how to implement it? And, you know, I wrote above - zero . Well, let it be 1% - surely somewhere, by chance, or by the will of heaven, there are people who understand something. Well, and you, if you carefully and without prejudice to the quality management, you will also understand. So, maybe up to 2% will reach.

    What for?

    So far we have two problems. No, not a problem. Before us are two possibilities. Just hush, don't tell anyone, because these are so easy-to-learn topics that you will lick your fingers. Fair. Before my eyes, 1% of knowledge about quality management was mastered and, as a result, economists, secretaries, vocational students, design engineers, and office clerks rose in their careers, by leaps and bounds.

    The first possibility is unused knowledge about quality management. Not about the balak, which is called ISO. Not about the pathologic department of a business called OTC. Quality management, which raised Japanese industry, was later copied and adapted by Americans and Europeans, is now mastered by the Chinese. Eh, and Chinese engineers are sent for 7 years at a public expense to study in western colleges.

    Knowledge simply lies idle. The Chinese use it, but we do not. Who has what GDP and growth dynamics - you know. Yes, yes, I understand that it is not in the quality of the case. More precisely, not only in quality. In general, China is not a quality. Or quality? A familiar office ordered parts in China according to their own drawings, mechanical processing. But first she ordered in Russia - she searched for a long time, tried different suppliers. Everyone has a bad quality. And China, for some reason, is good. And the price is lower, even after 2014. And master the technology of production of parts for the month, and ours - for six months. And the delivery time is maintained. Miracles? Or is this all about quality?

    The second possibility is that no one in quality management understands. Do you have a quality director? He knew nothing about what he shouldto do In fact, what he does in fact, he understands. If he implemented the ISO standard in your company, then surely something can be said about him. The requirements there, ideology may even be a list of mandatory processes, the need for continuous improvement, maybe even the difference between the standard editions, if it is a fanatic. But he does not know how to control quality and does not do it. Want to see this? Ask him what quality of products or processes, on what indicators, and what values ​​he has improved over the past year, whether the indicators are stable and whether he can confirm this (he should know what it means to confirm ).

    If you work in an integrator company, then in your office with 100% probability no one knows what quality is. If you are a large company, then you may have an ISO certificate. But you do not have quality and management. You just work.

    True, there is no fault here - neither yours, nor the head of your company. Only the director of quality is to blame. Not even the teachers who taught him. They, alas, also do not know about quality management, I checked. And the auditors do not know, I also checked. An auditor is just a very popular and highly paid profession, but its essence is like that of a tax inspector. He simply checks the company's activities for compliance with certain standards. Right, wrong, effective or not, qualitatively or not - to him without a difference. If you want to spend a lot of money for nothing, you can hire this auditor not to check, but to build a quality system in your enterprise. What will you get? Nothing. A bunch of non-working internal standards, written in accordance with ISO, or API (American Petroleum Institute standard), or ISO / TS (standard for the automotive industry), or even 6 sigma. But you will not have quality.

    No matter what courses you attend, they will not teach you quality management, no one anywhere. Teach all the same standards, or methods of measurement at the TCI. This is not a global conspiracy, not the machinations of imperialism. Just another Dogville and surrogate nationwide scale.

    How do we all then still live? After all, the industry is working, new missiles have been made, cars are driving, cows are being milked, we are building long bridges. Life is going. How?

    On intuition, at random, on a circular bail, on surrogates, on the principle of pushing. Just as management lives. Just as programmers live. Just as politicians live.

    Somehow. As it is. We all just produce something and push it into the market. And in the market - exactly the same product. Identical programmers who can only produce surrogates for TK. Same policy that can only speak. Equal managers who can only set deadlines and monitor their compliance. The same dairies that sell packaged in antibiotics swipes. Same ERP-systems, the introduction of which does not give anything. Do you understand?

    When everyone is the same, there is no choice, the consumer. And he buys - sausage, milk, ERP-systems, services of programmers, electoral politicians.

    What does the manufacturer think when they buy it? Egegey, I'm beautiful! I will produce more, and sell - People hawala. I produce a quality product! It can not be otherwise - they buy it after all!

    And when do not buy? Who would think that he has quality problems? Yes, horseradish bald. Look at the politicians who lost the election again. Every four years, go, and what changes in their product? Nothing. They just continue to gouge in the same hole, I apologize for the metaphor. They think - you just have to push it, get a little harder, more PR, more observers at the elections, because the main problem is in their dishonesty! With me, everything is in order, just the people are stupid, like a cork, and the Kremlin is stifling.

    It does not occur to him that something is wrong with him . That his product is an electoral company of low quality. Same as its competitors. And we, as they say, do not understand shit varieties. What this leads to in politics, you know.

    Or the same implementers ERP– they are like a carbon copy. There is not a single implementer on the market that would be strikingly different from the others in the quality of their work . It is clear that everyone is introducing the same PP. But there are Barcelona and Real, and there is a football club "Chelyabinsk". If you think it’s about Messi or Ronaldo, then watch the movie “The Man Who Changed Everything”.

    There are no Barcelona miners among them, there is only a million Chelyabinsk football clubs.

    And quality management is a topic that can make Barcelona from at least one of you personally, from your IT department in a factory, from your company, from the entire industry. Of course, there are no miracles, and quality management alone is not enough - other methods are also needed. But quality management is one of the central, basic, fundamental concepts. This is a philosophy of continuous, managed and targeted improvement.

    But first things first. In one article, quality management does not cram. Today we will try to figure out what “quality” is all about.


    The word is so battered that its meaning has long been lost. In advertising, in stores, on the streets - everywhere - you can hear the same thing. The quality is high, the quality is guaranteed, German quality, European quality.

    But I recently decided to buy smoked sausage in Pyaterochka. I rarely buy sausage, but suddenly for some reason I wanted to. As I recall, smoked is always more expensive than boiled and smoked.

    He came to the store, and there - 10 kinds of this smoked sausage. What is written on each? What is she, bitch, quality. And their management system is ISO certified. And they received a medal for quality at the exhibition.

    And I read the composition of the sausage. In one - the chicken. I, in general, do not mind the chicken. But when I want a chicken, I buy a chicken. And here I want sausages, from meat. I do not take.

    In others - pig skins. Brrrr. I reread - pig skins. Damn, where the world is heading. Previously, they wrote "meat meh. Obvvalki", at least some kind of conspiracy was, but now right - the skins. That's what these people have with their heads? Smoked sausage, the product is not an economy class, but is made from chicken and hides. Nearby lies, boiled doctor's GOST is one and a half times cheaper - there are neither hens nor hides. Who then dares to assert that the laws invented by the state are bureaucratic crap? There are probably incorrect ones, but if they made a standard there (= law), according to which the sausage (with GOST marking) is made from meat, and it is made from meat, then they are a damn good job. Elections have already passed, so I praise them for free.

    I do not take shorter.

    Well, in the appendage, in all, to a single, types of smoked sausage - soy protein. Yes, I understand, it is not harmful, it is probably even useful, and in general it is a great idea to make sausage from soy, but: when I want soy, I buy soy. Straight buy and cook. I remember she is so green. And now I want sausage made from meat.

    As a result, I had to take boiled sausage. Let me remind you - on each raw smoked was written - "quality".

    Now, in the context of my “sausage” story, try to formulate what “quality” is? And which sausage quality is better?

    And while I was talking about beer. There, after all, the situation is similar.

    Here I decided, for example, to drink beer. Not in the sense of being poured, like teenagers, but getting pleasure from a single glass. In the same way, I go to the store, the same Pyaterochka (is it everyone near the house?).

    Now I don’t remember, but someone told me that beer should be made from water, hop and malt. And, I remembered, the doctor was familiar. And I told him about the meat fur. boning told (what is it - skins). And if it says “hop products”, the doctor said, then this is not beer, but crap. Ok, I believe doctors.

    Types of beer in Pyaterochka more, probably 20 pieces. I take and read each label. Guess which beer is the right mix? If you have not read the fine print on the bottles, you will not guess. In the cheapest domestic and the most expensive imported. The entire medium and premium segment of the Russian beer bottling - with hop products.

    No, you do not think, I'm not obscurantist. I went to the Internet and read that hop products are an excellent thing that saves logistics costs, because hops have a very low density, and it should be pressed, blah blah blah. In the same way, according to NTV, they once said that boiled carrots are more useful than raw ones. Well, for sure there are materials that sausage from the skin is better than from meat.

    Yes, of course, it says on every beer that there is “quality”. By the way, did you come up with what quality is by the example of sausage?

    After all, they will make it from sawdust and write quality. Interestingly, here on hawthorn write that it is high quality? I tried on the Internet to see the labels - did not see.

    Or you wrote the processing, which automatically corrects the minus and frozen amounts in the turnover of goods. The chief accountant, Valeria Ivanovna, is delighted. He says that the processing is very high quality, and you - just a little.

    You believed and decided that you made a quality product. Laid out on the Internet, got nothing or even a minus. They lucidly explained to you that your processing is crap on vegetable oil, and you yourself are a surrogate that you need to correct, not minuses, but fix the accounting so as not to allow these minuses.

    You inadvertently mentioned in the comments that Valeria Ivanovna called the processing quality, and got even more minuses. Is your processing quality?

    Or do we make the metadata.js platform. Its author, Eugene Malyarov ( unpete), can do almost everything on this platform, and at an incredible speed. He believes that the platform - quality.

    And then the dear Alexey Lustin comes to us and says that TypeScript is not enough. If it is not enough, then the platform is not of high quality. Alexey, after all, did not abandon all his developments, and did not join in the metadata?

    Then we open a community to explore the platform, and people do not get much. The platform is not installed, CouchDB is not deployed, integration does not work. All of them come to the conclusion that the platform is not of high quality.

    Or completed your franch ERP implementation in a large factory. You say - a quality project. CIO says - the project quality. Glavbuh says - project shnyazhny. The director says - come down. The owner says - What the fuck? What is ERP? Where is my fucking jet?

    That's all, enough around the walk, you already understood everything. Now I will write the correct definition of quality. I beg you to remember it for life.

    Quality is the degree of compliance with customer requirements.


    Quality is never absolute, suspended in a vacuum. There is no "just a quality product." If the sausage says that it is of high quality - this is not true.

    Quality always relates to the consumer. And then the figure is just worth it - how much the product meets the expectations of the consumer. At 100%, at 0%, at 50%, at 200%. You heard such a slogan - to exceed expectations ? Of course, a consumer can be one, two, a million and a billion. But the consumer is always there.

    If I, as a consumer, need uncooked smoked meat sausage, then everything that lies in Pyaterochka is poor quality for me. This is both beautiful and terrible.

    That's great because you can breathe a sigh of relief right now about the quality of your product or service. You don't have to like everybody. You will not be able to please everyone. You no longer have to catch up with the setting sun, trying to conquer the whole world.

    All you need is to understand who your consumer is. Find out his requirements, and meet them. Then add new consumers, figure out their requirements, and match them. Or do not try to match them within the framework of the same product, but create a new one, for a specific audience of consumers.

    You no longer have to worry that Valeria Ivanovna likes your product, but does not like her fellow programmers. All this fraternity is not your consumer. More precisely - not a consumer of your product. They are not bad and not good, they are simply not your consumers. No need to continue to gouge in this hole.

    There are no ingenious creations, as there are no “quality products” (it is in this two-word formulation).

    This also leads to trouble - for those who have not read this article. You now know that the inscription or the slogan “we have quality” is complete bullshit and you can’t be fooled anymore. If such a slogan is pushed to you during a personal conversation, feel free to ask - eh, man, what quality are you talking about? What are my requirements for your product and how much?

    In the appendage

    And in the appendage - a funny story about the quality and management of these in the domestic auto industry.

    The story happened at one of the factories - the manufacturer of auto parts.

    So, there is an old grinding machine, which makes some kind of detail for the car.

    I collect the processed parts for quality assessment, 4 batches of 100 pieces, at different times. I measure the diameter of the part in one of the sections - this size is recognized by technologists as the most important for the part in terms of quality.

    The measurement results are funny - a marriage of 75 to 100% . Well, that is The diameter of almost all parts is outside the tolerance range. Domestic auto industry :)

    We discuss with technologists, shop superintendent. Of course, they find an explanation:

    1. Old machine, very old, written off from another plant.
    2. Bad grinding wheels, “are poured out like sand, do not hold a shape” - because they are cheap, they don’t give money for expensive management.
    3. "Well, what we can do, see for yourself."

    The explanation they find is , in the process of conversation - they did not know that they were driving such a marriage.

    I discuss with the quality management service (QMS) - these are the people who need to invent and implement measures to improve product quality. What do they say:

    1. The main thing - about this percentage of marriage, they learned from me. They themselves looked at the results of sampling, which OTK gave;
    2. The reasons for marriage were named exactly the same as in the previous list, they did not add anything from themselves;
    3. What to do next - they have no idea. Probably, it is necessary to set a task for technologists to improve the technical process. Or buy a new machine (a metalworking center for 4 million euros, they were long told what a wonderful tool it is, even a tooling and tool can be made).

    In our terms, what happens is: there were no numbers, no control based on numbers. The employees of the QMS were not in the workshop, they did not see the system in action, therefore they did not understand the ways of influencing it. The system, I recall, is primitive.

    I decided to conduct an experiment - to implement controlling in practice of this small system, i.e. get a figure, and "make control" on its basis. As close as possible to the system - by integrating into it .

    He stood next to the worker at the machine, I told him - give me every finished part. One was processed for about 10 seconds, during which the worker was not busy with anything, so I did not interfere with it.

    I measured every detail with a lever clip, and after measuring I told the worker how many microns to turn the adjusting wheel on the machine, which is responsible for the size of the part (I don’t remember what it is called). So we made 100 parts with him, I went to measure them again.

    The result was quite amusing: the spread of sizes was 4 times smaller than the tolerance field . Roughly speaking, if the allowable variation is 0.6 mm, then this one hundred of details contains the entire variation in 0.15 mm.

    Marriage percentage, respectively, is zero.

    Decided to try again, you never know - suddenly an accident. He came the next day, to the same machine, only with another worker. Did the same thing - the result is identical. There is no marriage .

    He continued the experiment - he did everything the same, only the adjustment said to the worker not in microns, but “add a little” or “lower it more”.

    The result was "worse" - the variation in size is half the tolerance. But the marriage rate is still zero.

    Now a little about the Japanese.

    In quality management, there is such an indicator, one of the main ones is the reproducibility index and, denoted by Cp . In more detail about him, I will tell you, if there is such a need, now I will only give you comparative figures and a short formula.

    The reproducibility index is equal to the ratio of the size of the tolerance field (control limits of a digit) to the actual size variation.Everything is a little more complicated there, there are conditions for using, calculating scatter, etc., but all the conditions were met, the process was stable in all 7 criteria of the KKS check, the normality of the distribution law was confirmed, checked on specialized software (this offer is for those who know theory of statistical process control).

    So, in the Japanese automotive industry, the average value is Cp = 1.6. The bigger it is, the better. The minimum acceptable value for the Japanese is 1.33, for them it is a borderline between life and death.

    Now the figure of our factory. After the first measurements, when there was a large marriage, Cp ranged from about 0 to 0.25.

    For those batches of 100 parts that we made with the worker, it turned out Cp from 2 to 4. The highest rate was in the case when I gave the size adjustment in microns.

    Of course, in life there is not much point in striving for the number 4 - 1.6 is quite enough.

    Conclusions can be made very different, the numbers turned out to be very revealing.

    For example:

    • You can buy several measuring tools, distribute the workers, achieve constant control - and become like the Japanese. One such measurement tool costs 10-20 tr. - This is a lever bracket, a very handy thing, because measures very quickly;
    • You can buy one measuring device, hire a person who will go there / back in the production process, measure and make corrections - and become like the Japanese;
    • And all this - without changing equipment.

    There was no controlling in this primitive system in many respects because there were no numbers. There were no numbers, because the technical process was written this way:

    • measurements should have been done with too much frequency ;
    • measurements should have been carried out caliber . Without going into details, I will say that the caliber does not tell the size of the part in the form of a digit , the measurement result of the type “boolean” is suitable or not (in quality management this is called “by alternative indication”, and when there is a digit “by quantitative attribute”) .

    The result of the “boolean” type measurement is, of course, also a figure. If you set such a goal, then on a boolean you can even build accounting and manage it. For example, if you control a programmer, and the only digit to be taken is “whether the task was completed on time,” then you also have a dimension with the “boolean” type. And you rob yourself, tie your hands and lose the ability to effectively influence the process.

    In the described system, obviously, an error was made during its development - the feedback system was not incorporated, and the effect of the result on the execution process. That is, simply put, there was no controlling here . The result - a marriage of almost 100%, which now stands in the thousands of cars plowing the expanses of our country.

    Well, the services and the people who were supposed to control the behavior of this system could not do this a priori, because did not understand: the system must be observed in action . How to make parts on the old machine without marriage? It is impossible to understand, looking at the reports of the Quality Department, the parameters of the machine in its performance characteristics, talking to technologists and supervisors, and even having an ISO 9001 certificate. You need to go to the shop - to the system. Toyota knows about this (“first go to gemba”), but the Russian manager does not know.

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