November 5, 2009 at 11:06

How to pass a stress test for an interview when applying for a job

    The best defense is an attack. Want to shock your HR manager? Then ask a series of questions at the interview:

    • What software does the company sell ? The question is especially relevant if the company is not IT or is working for outsourcing. If the HR manager does not shrink, ask for the name to be spelled, enter into the communicator and pretend that you are reading the issue on request. Pulling your lips and shaking your head will give more charm.
    • How much will they pay? Is white salary? Social Security? Travelers? If this is not enough, ask for a typical employee growth schedule for the next 10 years. Any attempts to evade, such as "depends on how you will do the job," stop in the bud - experience and loyalty have a price and it must be paid.
    • Is there a driver’s vacancy? Such a question is better to ask when it is already clear that you are ready to take. Explain that you have very good performance on races in NF and you want to repeat them in real life. Say En Fes as calmly as a “sandwich”. Practice should look natural.
    • How many months will I enter the board of directors? Say that you are very ambitious and plan to sit up with your department head / manager in the coming week. Take an interest in hobbies of the gandir, tops. Promise your thanks . At the same time, look directly into the eyes - the look must be confident and domineering.
    • Can I get to work in a couple of months? Say that you still have a number of offers and you want to choose the best place to give yourself, your beloved, the best company. It would be nice to print business cards with logos of famous companies on a color printer and accidentally drop them. Lift it up and tell me, I’ve come here on the way for an interview, they invited me.
    • Demand an advance! At the same time, show that you are only interested in money, and nothing more. To the question - what kind of work, tell me - here I come to you, I spend my time and strain, what is not work? You can also include shipping costs.
    • Who called the company so stupid? Say that the name of the company should be in Russian (if it is English) and vice versa. Claim that it’s so prestigious and you need to keep an image. Ask again - who gave the name. If the HR manager cannot give an answer, then reproach that the employee should know more about the history of his company!
    • What is included in medical insurance? Let us know that you have long dreamed of having plastic surgery at the expense of the company and you really count on it. Ask how quickly you can go for surgery after you get to work.
    • What is the break for contra? Ask HR if he is a man. If a woman - ask if there is a break for viewing porn sites. Say that you recently quit smoking and need periodic relaxation.
    • What is better to go? Say you are from the other end of the city. Ask which team - female or male? If female - smile carnivore, if male - say that fishing without vodka is unforgettable.
    • What is the owner's OS? If Windows - say contemptuously - Vendian. If it’s MacOS, then it’s possible that the Macophiles conspired. If Linux - ask about the color of his eyes, and say in fact they are red.


    And remember - in every joke only a fraction of the joke. Good luck with your interviews!
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