Motivation in a person’s life, or my little experience (introduction)

Hi, Habr. Hi, Khabrovsk.

The topic of this post was actually sucked from my soul, which is called "boiling and piled up." Having read various articles on Habré and IThappens, I thought: “But what’s wrong with me?” Here people write about how they work, what funny occasions they had, who understood what, who achieved what, who moved to work in another country. What can I tell? Well, yes, there were a couple of posts on IThappens about shamanism about the mascot from the toy immunity , about the home computer, which died after I handed it over to my father for management . And what else?

I am 24 years old, what have I achieved? I don’t know. Some of my friends, either peers or a year older, already hold the positions of IT directors, department heads, and leading posts. They have wives, children (not everyone of course, but there are some). And I? How am I different from them?

An attempt to analyze your life led to disappointing conclusions. What do i have? Work as a system administrator in a small business without any prospects for development, to put it in Russian, is a dead end. Graduate school is not on the profile. Favorite girl and friends. What's next?

Well, I’ll graduate from graduate school, I will be 27 years old. AND? Now what?

What do I spend my life on? Sit at work, be wary of users, go to the girl and sit "stupid" on TV, drink beer with friends, take a walk with the girl. Yes, I do not argue, this, of course, is cool, useful (to walk in the park), but where is the development? I’m afraid that after 3 years, if I don’t start doing anything, I will sit in front of the TV, expanding my stomach and become a classic admin-enicher, with my wife and two “back-gnaws”. What next? So finish it? No, I don’t know who and how, but that doesn’t suit me.

Let's see what needs to be done to break out of this situation?

To begin with, I think we need to decide on the answers to two main questions: “What do I have at the moment?” and "What do I not have and what would I like?". Then I will describe everything in more detail.

So. What I have?

  • Work, not so hot, but it is;
  • Graduate school (not specialized) and education;
  • Girl and friends;
  • The desire to change something.

Super. Here we have decided. I propose to parse each item individually. And to understand what I like and what not?


Yes, if you compare it with the previous place, this is just a wonderful place. There is everything, and finances for the development of IT, and the time that you can spend on yourself, in terms of self-education, and they pay here an order of magnitude higher than they paid before. But is this the place where I want to work further? What keeps me here? I am sure many have asked this question. Did many find this answer? Except, of course, typical answers: “what if I can’t find a replacement”, “here they pay more”, etc. I think everyone read the article “Top 10 Unconvincing Reasons to Hold on to Bad Work . For me, this reason was determined just recently, which made it possible to finally make sure what and how to do for some kind of forward movement.

Graduate School and Education

There is nothing to be done, but I have to study, the desire for education has recently revived with extraordinary power. The last 4 years I studied, as they say, "from under the stick." But the words of one of my relatives constantly pop up in my head that people either study before a certain age, or after. Apparently, apparently, I am one of those who study after. Although the topic of my dissertation is not specialized, it is still related to IT (although it is considered from the point of view of economics).

Running a little ahead, I cannot but share the experience of my school life. When I was in grades 9-11, laziness leaped up. Walking, kicking the ball, walking around the area, it was all much more interesting and fascinating than learning, sitting to do boring, necessary lessons and counting huge examples in algebra or physics (even if it was easy and interesting, but you understand childhood). But like most boys, I really wanted my father to be proud of me. But how to achieve this? According to the great law of meanness, my father came into my room exclusively at those moments when the lessons were already done or there was a simple break, and naturally, he saw me dumb into the computer or just spit on the ceiling. On this basis, I received a huge mass of indignation against me. How it is? The son of a gas and condensate engineer (father) and a computer programmer (in assembly language, this is mother) brings home triples in geometry, sometimes in physics with algebra. So, based on observations - not studying and not engaged. This was especially aggravated in the 11th grade when they told me openly that I wouldn’t go anywhere, that I was ignorant, mediocre, well, etc. But the father of his son knows (as long as this science is not available to me; here, I think, until you try it yourself - you don’t understand), it was determined when I entered the Moscow Institute of Steel and Alloys on a budget. My father deliberately pressed me, while I myself did not understand it, snorted that he was wrong and based on his usual desire to prove (youthful maximalism, no one had canceled either) that his father was wrong, that he was mistaken, that I could . In the end, it turned out to be very good motivation. In one year, I got so “stuffed with a hand" on all kinds of tasks that I "clicked them like seeds." What is the result? I am proud to have proved his mistake to my father. The father is proud to have raised a good son. Here is an example of the simplest motivation.

Girl and friends

Yes, I have a loved one, she is studying for a PR specialist and has remained with her for another year. As I think, we are not alone with our relationship problems, we swear, sometimes we reconcile, or something else, but the thought that this is the one with whom I want to spend the rest of my (so far) worthless life pushes me to some actions. In general, conducting a comparative analysis based on observations, we can conclude that very many people begin to achieve some success not just (for their own sake), but for the future, for the sake of the family. My father hammered into me the realization that until I was financially secure, until I myself got on my feet and until I was able to feed myself, my wife, and children. You don’t even have to think about it, but if I have plans to start a family, continue my family, then I, as a man, a getter and future head of the family, obliged: to develop, work, study, and not wallow on the couch or drink a bottle / two grieving and complaining about my life, in which I can not change anything. The presence in a person’s life, for the sake of which one can and most importantly wants to do something, favorably contributes to personal growth.

Also, the presence of friends who support in every possible way, I mean those with whom you can not only drink beer, but also chat about different things, dig deeper into the garage, and most importantly, discuss plans for further life, share emotions and thoughts.

The desire to change something

In my opinion, as soon as this very desire appears in life, it becomes much easier to formulate and set for yourself some life goal. I don’t even know what else to say here.

With what we have figured out. Now it’s time to decide what we don’t have, but would we like it?

  • life goals;
  • all material wealth invented by humanity;
  • happiness and idyll;
  • financial stability;
  • independence and confidence in the future;
  • stable work that you will go with love.

Life goals

What are they needed for? Everyone probably has their own thoughts on this topic, but I will try to further reveal that these very goals are for us. And as an example, I can give the following situation:
I got higher education for 8 years, but there’s nothing to be proud of, I changed 3 universities, but in the end I got it and, as they say, “thank God”. But, throughout all 8 years of training, the goal was “I need a crust! The crust is important ”and to prevent this from happening, I did not give up trying to get it. And why? Because the goal was and for years driven thought: "Without a diploma it will be harder than with it!" Over time, I certainly questioned this opinion, but decided not to risk it. And that’s all. The goal is achieved, the goal is no more. What to do? What to do? Around April, I rushed about in my thoughts: “Now what? What to do? Where to go?" The answers to these questions were much simpler than I could imagine.

All material wealth

Yes, mankind has created for itself a lot of all kinds of charms. This includes smart homes, cars, huge TVs with high-quality color reproduction, smartphones that cost like a powerful computer and more. And all this attracts people. A friend of mine runs after modern expensive gadgets simply because this status and high society, noticing you with a “clamshell from a Samsung”, will not be taken as equal. In my opinion, all these are prejudices. I am sure that many of us dream of an expensive car, a golden iPhone and an apartment in the center of Moscow, closer to work.

Happiness and idyll

Here, I believe that it is not necessary to describe something, it is obvious that without happiness idylls cannot be achieved. And in general, if a person is unhappy, then he either has an incentive to become happy or his hands drop more and more.

Financial stability

It so happened that when I was little, my father worked as the head of the company, and in fact we didn’t really think that there might not be enough money, but the white stripe is often replaced by a black one. This is what happened to us. As a result, we began to save on everything. And then I realized, as a young child, that in the future I would do everything to prevent mistakes that my father made. No, I’m not saying that my father is bad, in any case, we all have mistakes. But most importantly, how do we perceive these errors? Blame the person who allowed them? Or "Wrap ourselves on a mustache" - how not to act?

Independence and confidence in the future

What can I give others now? My support and all kinds of help. And what can I give to my beloved person? Or your mother? Here the question already arises: is it true, what can I give them? This topic is so vast that I would like to write a separate article on it.
Are you ready to admit to yourself that tomorrow will be better, or unchanged? But can it not be worse? The world is dynamic - everything is changing. This dynamic can affect anyone. You can find yourself in the wrong place at the wrong time and get yourself huge problems. Not long ago, I watched the film "Lucky Number Slevin." At the very beginning of the film, it is shown how the main character was just not there and at the wrong time and what consequences you can run into.

Therefore, I always want confidence in the future.

So. Having dealt with these issues, we can at least understand what we want. On this basis, try to formulate and set a goal for implementation.

Usually, something moves a person, there is such an expression: “flies don’t just fly like that!” So it is with people. I do not know a single person who, to the question "Why are you doing this?" would answer: "Yes, just like that!". Agree, there are no such people. Everyone has a specific goal, based on which actions are formed. Of course, I do not take into account people with mental disorders and mental illnesses whose actions are difficult to explain.

What purpose do you have? Deserve recognition in some matters, in science? Deserve the respect of some people? Achieve family well-being? Or what else? I propose to discuss this in the comments, with explanations, and what do you do in order to achieve this goal?

Forming a goal, in my opinion, is not an easy task, because several factors must be taken into account, which sometimes exclude themselves. And if you approach this meaningfully, and not so much that "And I’ll go to the accountant!" And the question is, why did a person studying programming, working as a system administrator, suddenly go into accounting? Not just the same?

To form a life goal, we need:

  • accurate awareness when, at what time intervals we want to achieve this goal;
  • why do we need this?
  • What will we get when we reach this goal?
  • to form key points at which to analyze what has been done and what remains to be done, as well as determine the tasks that must be accurately implemented at these points

What framework do we fit into? Here you need to understand exactly that there are no impossible cases. If you want to set yourself the goal of inventing the perpetual motion machine, then you definitely put your whole life on it, and if you do not invent it, then at least create a huge theoretical and practical base for your descendants. Therefore, I do not recommend jumping above your head. It is necessary to firmly decide and weigh all the pros and cons. I will analyze my set goal using an example. I consider the terms to be even longer, but I have a margin. By the age of 33, plus / minus a year, I want to take the position of IT director, engage in an interesting business for me, work in a large company and work for the benefit of people.

Why such a goal? But what about family well-being, financial stability, material wealth? I tried to build a chain of my desires so that all of my links were interconnected. Because For me, work, financial stability and family well-being are mutually connected and inextricable, then I set goals in such a way as to have time to develop in all directions. That there was no damage in one direction or another. After weighing everything, I came to the conclusion that 10 years to achieve all the tasks set for myself is more than enough, I would even say in abundance, but wouldn't it be nice if I achieve this not in 10, but in 8 years? I think that it will be much more pleasant for me to realize that I am ahead of my own schedule, which means that I really want this all the time, and all the efforts spent on achieving this,

To determine the time required to achieve our goal, you need to weigh all the necessary data on which the success of the implementation depends.

  • Is it necessary to learn something new? For example, if you want to build a house, but you have never before held a hammer in your hands, then naturally you will need to spend time on your own training.
  • It is necessary to identify all possible risks, as well as try to predict most of the problems that we may encounter.
  • Determine how much time per day we will spend on solving the tasks. If we need to learn something, how much time will we devote to this? An hour, two, or maybe all three?

When all this has been calculated, we will approach the approximate date of the decision.

It is necessary to understand why we need it? So we calculated how much time, effort and maybe our money we spend. Why is this done? To achieve personal happiness, or recognition, or for some other reason? Understanding the cause of actions always leads to an effective result. If a person does not understand why he is doing this or that work, the person disappears: 1) interest in doing this work, 2) the desire to do this very job disappears.

As a result, we get an unfinished or very poorly made product and a lot of regrets, disappointments and possible depression. Think very well why you set yourself such a task. And most importantly, if you set the goal that you want to live in a country house, try to answer your own question: “Why is a country house better than an apartment?” Area? Well, save up some money and buy yourself a 5-6 room apartment. Do you want barbecue? Buy a huge apartment on the roof of a skyscraper, go out and fry the kebabs, the smoke will go up, not down, and you won’t disturb the neighbors, and the higher the cleaner the air. Try to dissuade yourself from achieving your goal. If you succeed, then you do not want this, and if you fail, you will only be convinced that this is very important to you. By the way, this concerns not only work or a country house.

We know the approximate time for implementation, we are firmly convinced that we know why we are doing this. We pass, in my opinion, to the most interesting question. But what do we get when we reach the goal? Firstly, you need to try to imagine yourself in 5 - 10 years. Just cover your eyes and imagine. Does everything suit you? Is this really what you were striving for? If so, congratulations. If not, look for what led you to the wrong result.

We proceed to the last point. We outline key points for myself, as I call them. This means that we need to outline for ourselves some plan along which we will move. We know the approximate time for implementation, we know why we need it, and we are confident that if we do this, we will feel better. But how to achieve this? I, faced with this issue, thought for a long time. Well, where do I start? Rushing from one extreme to another, I determined that if everything is done randomly, we will never meet the deadlines. To do this, I took the calendar and thought what I need first of all? That's right - to pay off debts so that my past does not pull me back. Having calculated how much I receive and how much I spend, and most importantly what I spend, I was able to determine how much money I can give to the bank to the maximum, and how much I need to leave to the minimum, so as not to die of hunger. Considering how much time I will pay in this situation, it turned out surprisingly not so long. I circled the date on the calendar, thus marking that I am depositing the last ruble of this number and reaching the milestone. Further, it is best to outline all the control points of your path, and when you reach a new CT, it is quite possible to revise the dates of the next one. Thus, you will be able to analyze how much time it took you to achieve this CT, how you spend your strength. You can look at your own changes. You can also keep a diary so that the analysis is the most transparent and when you reach new CT scans, you can clearly see what has been done and what hasn’t. thus marking that I am depositing the last ruble of this number and reaching the checkpoint. Further, it is best to outline all the control points of your path, and when you reach a new CT, it is quite possible to revise the dates of the next one. Thus, you will be able to analyze how much time it took you to achieve this CT, how you spend your strength. You can look at your own changes. You can also keep a diary so that the analysis is the most transparent and when you reach new CT scans, you can clearly see what has been done and what hasn’t. thus marking that I am depositing the last ruble of this number and reaching the checkpoint. Further, it is best to outline all the control points of your path, and when you reach a new CT, it is quite possible to revise the dates for the next. Thus, you will be able to analyze how much time it took you to achieve this CT, how you spend your strength. You can look at your own changes. You can also keep a diary so that the analysis is the most transparent and when you reach new CT scans, you can clearly see what has been done and what hasn’t. how do you spend your strength. You can look at your own changes. You can also keep a diary so that the analysis is the most transparent and when you reach new CT scans, you can clearly see what has been done and what hasn’t. how do you spend your strength. You can look at your own changes. You can also keep a diary so that the analysis is the most transparent and when you reach new CT scans, you can clearly see what has been done and what hasn’t.

Here. Now, we can confidently say that we have set ourselves a life goal. She may not necessarily be alone. There can be two or three, and they can also contain a chain of other goals, as it turned out for me.

Perhaps you just read it and asked the next question: “What does motivation have to do with it, and where is a concrete example of how it all works?”

I can’t give a concrete example, because I myself just finished with the formation of my future path. And since I am now at the very beginning, I decided to share with you my experience in undertaking, formulating and setting the tasks necessary to achieve the cherished goal.

At the very beginning, I answered before you questions: “What do I have?”, “What do I want?”. And he took apart each item. My own experience is that recently I met friends I had not seen for a long time. In my opinion, they all occupy good positions and seem to be even satisfied with everything. Then a series of depressions covered me. Why am I cursing with a girl? Why don’t I have money? Why can't I get the rights to the car? And this eternal “why?” Constantly arose. It so happened that the girl went to her grandparents for the summer, and I had time to figure out myself. What am I doing wrong? Why can't I achieve the happiness I dream of?
After sitting a couple of days in search of answers, I came across articles on the hub:

The main effect on me was made by the article “How to become a system administrator”, namely the 4th part, because it examined the future paths of the system administrator. And then I realized what made me so depressed.

I sat down and sorted out all my difficulties and problems point by point: (a little later I plan to write on these topics, of course - from the point of view of an IT person):

  • work, who to be?
  • personal life, how to avoid quarrels, mutual misunderstanding, how to become a perfect couple?
  • personal comfort, what is needed for him?
  • mock ideal future how to build?
  • where to find all this time?

I really hope that the series of articles to which this introduction was written will help as well as it helps me.

Please discuss all your questions and suggestions in the comments.

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