Tangle of like-minded people

    How to survive in a turbulent corporate environment. Only for theoretical study .

    I do not know about you, but I had to work in a fairly turbulent corporate environment, and not once.

    From the first such companies I left quickly enough, because my youthful ideals crumbled very quickly. If something went wrong, as I expected, I was loudly indignant and slammed the door.

    Then I began to more closely observe what was happening, to draw conclusions and adjust my behavior in accordance with the laws of the environment in which I found myself.

    Not to say that I became a straight shark - there was no such goal. But I found a kind of median state, when survival was not only possible, but also simple, and even fun. How is game.

    I will try to formulate, thesis, the basic rules that I made for myself, maybe they will be useful to someone.

    I do not pretend to fully disclose the topic, I do not reveal the higher truths, I tried to avoid generalizations, I do not impose anything on anyone.

    First come up with an excuse

    When receiving any task, for the non-fulfillment of which you can suffer, you first need to come up with an excuse - words that you will say when you do not do the task. Sometimes the excuse is so good that the task can not be done.

    It is clear that there are tasks where the excuse is not accepted - there, alas, will have to work.

    Do not recognize significant errors.

    Recognition of the fact of an error is a record in the case, a joint that is necessarily remembered and used. It is a kind of dependency, which gives rise to a sense of guilt and forces one to obey.

    If the cant happened, it is useful excuse. If there is no excuse, it should be quickly invented. In general, in such a case it is better to have several templates.

    One of my favorites: this is a platform / configuration error, they made it quite recently, goats, they can’t do anything normally. I wrote to them already, I put the whole Internet on my ears, so they set me up.

    This pattern fits a lot of jambs.

    Admit and sell minor bugs

    If the error is minor, then you should not defend it - it is better to recognize. This will help get rid of the burden of responsibility for it. But more importantly, they will not take you as an excellent student who, by all means, always wants to prove that he is right. Let them see that you are not against being guilty of something, that it does not bother you, you are not worried about such nonsense.

    But admit it is not enough, we still have to sell the mistake as an achievement. For this, a lot of mind is not needed - it is enough to invent a story about what this error taught you, and tell it at every opportunity.

    Thus, having recognized trivial and unrecognized serious mistakes, you seem to remain in the flow, at the middle level - not a kosyachnik, but also not an excellent pupil. But there’s nothing to hook you about.

    How to behave during the shoal

    For example, the server 1C or iron fell, there is no second or it is not prepared, everyone runs and yells that the shipping has risen.

    At this point, you need to get angry, or depict anger, just not on yourself or others, but on the third side - 1C, electricians, microsoft, admins external - not so important.

    To talk shortly, clearly and with anger. Then the people who came to argue with you will either become angry at the third party or feel uncomfortable and try to leave as soon as possible.

    Admin's imposingness, such as “do not piss off, let you finish and repair”, it is better not to use it - it has not inspired respect for a long time, but only annoying it.

    After the shoal

    It is necessary to portray the desire to "find a system solution", because with a high probability you will be required to "measures to eliminate the causes." You can write any heresy, preferably with longer terms, but a few points - simple and short, like buying a voltage stabilizer for 5 tr.

    If they check the fulfillment of the list, then only in the short term, during the week, this is where the stabilizer comes in handy. The remaining items you can not do, still forget.

    Search and have a goal

    You have to understand why you go to work, every day. This is the best way to not go crazy, do not fade, while remaining effective. The goals of the company, by themselves, do not fit - they are strangers.

    You can set the goal of "learning to achieve the goals of the company", then to write about it in the summary.

    When you have your own goal, you begin to look at this zoo with curiosity and experience the pleasure of playing with it.

    It is a pity, however, people who sit side by side and experience because of other people's goals, and because of these experiences act very badly.

    Minimize bureaucracy

    In any bureaucracy there are loopholes and short cuts. For example, we prepared and handed over reports every quarter, colleagues-managers took 2 weeks of work of the whole department, and I only have 15 minutes, because I knew that nobody reads them, and simply copied the old ones. Colleagues also said to do so, but they did not believe.

    And it is not scary if they are burned, because see the first point - there is an excuse: oh, damn, I mistakenly sent the last report, here I am a moron, and how such land wears!

    It is better to take bureaucracy from subordinates, since they are afraid of her, and the head is dumb to be afraid of. For example, when we had fines for tasks that were not completed on time, I redirected all the tasks of the department to myself.

    Avoid absolutism

    Always, never, the only way, and not otherwise - these words should be avoided. Absolutism usually gives the impression of an immature person. Well, in the end, you may be wrong, and if you were absolutely convinced that you were right, you would be in a bad position.

    On errors when using absolutism can and will catch. Especially if assertions about oneself are made with absolutism, as young managers often suffer. Like "I never lose my temper," "I respect myself too much to tolerate insults," "I always confidently manage people in a crisis situation," etc.

    Own opinion

    You need to have your own opinion, but do not insist on it. A person who has no opinion, even an erroneous one, looks rather pitiful. If your opinion is too vigorously defended, then you get absolutism - see above.

    If you didn’t accept your opinion, but someone else’s, and started to implement it, then it’s even better, especially if you were right and they didn’t succeed. On the one hand, they will remember that you were against, i.e. understood that the wrong course was chosen. On the other hand, your opinion will remain unverified, therefore it will seem even more correct.

    There is a golden rule - allow others to make mistakes. I once introduced him to the department’s position, such as “The IT department of such a company usually knows how to do automation, but if the customer insists on his version, then the IT department has nothing against it and will happily allow the customer to make a mistake ".


    You have to make a mysterious legend from yourself, which is quite simple - you just need to tell less about yourself. In an environment where people around you are constantly changing, creating a legend is easy, even in the events that took place within the company.

    Legend people are always a little afraid, because intuitively feel that this guy is not so simple, he always has trumps up his sleeve. Even if no legends were there.

    How to fight with opponents

    To fight openly is never worth it. If you fight openly, then it becomes your weakness that you can use. If the enemy suddenly gains power, or patronage, it can hurt you.

    You always, unlike others, have a lot of information on the enemy - from the system, especially if you use tips from exorcism. This information is not worth telling everyone. Best of all - in a private meeting with the owner, or the most influential decision maker, to whom there is access. Information should not be made the topic of the meeting - the topic of the meeting should lead to this information. It is better to hold even two meetings - at one to mention that there are shoals, promise to prepare information, at the next meeting the information should be shown. Information should not be given too quickly, so as not to give out their sources.

    Sometimes, according to the situation, you can make it smarter - send information to the enemy, such as here you have shoals, you need to do this and follow this, but do not insist. He, being your opponent, will most likely ignore the letter. And then, after a week or a month, send a letter to someone more serious, with a postscript like "I'm worried about the process, but I can't do anything myself, I need to get that guy to try."

    In any format of conversation, do not talk bad about a person. You can do about his affairs, you can talk about numbers, you can talk about mistakes, but about a person you shouldn’t, because you’ll look like a gossip, and that’s bad.

    The mystery of creative automation

    As they say, if you know how to do something, do not do it for free. We are able to do automation “on time and according to the terms of reference”, and we are able “from the heart”. This automation "from the heart" should be isolated and sold separately.

    Not for money, of course, but for the relaxation of formal conditions and for attachment to yourself.

    This is done easily. A person comes for automation, and the process involves the development of the TOR and the setting of a deadline. Tell a person - we can in the process, but we can cool, technologically and beautifully, but then without TK, without a time limit and on my terms. To justify a couple of beautiful stories can be cited, such as about Leonardo da Vinci, who gave out masterpieces only when he was not given a time limit.

    If a person insists on terms of reference and deadlines, do as accurately as possible according to the terms of reference - let him get his surrogate.

    If a person does not burn, and he agreed to creative automation, the main thing here is not to fail, and to do something really cool compared to what you usually do. It should be very different. If it works out well and quickly - generally super.

    Now all this must be sold, and to connect that dude, whom you made happy, as a confirmation. Everyone should see and understand that programmers give out super cool solutions without a framework and deadlines. And behind such decisions should line up.

    Your business is to continue to maintain the contrast between “according to TK” and “from the heart”. In no case should you do “on time and according to TK and from the heart” - this is the same as selling paintings at the price of toilet paper.

    Bad automation, like a weapon

    Returning to war, your opponent will not order automation “from the heart”, because This dependence on you, he will write TK. The worse his TK, the better for you.

    Make it in the TOR to do maximum detail, down to the types of metadata. Let it turn out that its remains should be stored in the information register. Let him describe the interaction with other subsystems himself, and the more mistakes he makes, the better. Ideal - if its functionality will spoil someone else's life.

    When the TK is ready, tell him that the TK is shit, but you do not insist, and make it if you really need it. He will say something stinging like "yes, be so kind" - that's all, he signed.

    Make it as accurate as possible and closer to the TK, let it be frank nonsense. Let him spoil the primary organization of other departments, let the whole system slow down because of him, let him not be able to receive any intelligent figures for the management.

    They will come to you and complain - to the brakes, for example - just redirect to that guy, with the words "and I told him that he invented shit."

    The ideal situation is if the consultation decides that everything needs to be redone. It's time to make a sad face and say something like “damn it, and already 150 TR companies, not counting taxes, spent on this shit, do you still want? ". Well, and what to do - they will say, please make it right.

    Record automation costs

    This is elementary, but few do. No need to try to evaluate tasks in hours, coordinate this cost and fill your own price. It is much easier to calculate the actual costs.

    Simply attach to the system a document in which you enter the salaries of your programmers in the form of a tabular part, and all the tasks solved in a month in the form of a second tabular part, and distribute the first to the second according to some distribution base - by hours spent, by invented complexity factors or any other digit.

    No one can check the distribution parameters, and there will not be. But the total cost figure will always coincide with the payroll of your department, and this will be evident as evidence of the correctness of the calculations.

    Well, make some beautiful charts - costs for departments, for people, for projects. And show when the time is right.

    If your opponent wants another crap from you, show how much he has already spent on automation. It is especially good if he says “they don’t deal with me, I’m poorly automated” - and here you are, and it turns out that 50% of the money goes to him.

    It is especially good if you have an example of automation “from the heart”, which was inexpensive and fully satisfied one of the customers — it can be used to fight opponents. Like “look, think, a person knows what he wants, listens to us, and over 5% of the budget, IT has made great automation for itself”.

    Well, do not forget to play with numbers - to tighten up the coefficients so that opponents always “win” in the cost structure.

    Personal relationships

    Personal relationships, friendship in a turbulent environment should be avoided. Both good and bad relationships with someone can hurt you if things change.

    It is especially worth avoiding, oddly enough, friendship. When you are friends with someone, it literally binds your hands - you will be forced to help this person and support him, even to the detriment of yourself.

    The world is full of people with whom you can be friends, you should not do this at work. Make friends when he gets fired.

    Ask and listen, but do not speak

    I still wonder how much people love to pour out their souls and make an emotional striptease. In order for a person to pour out your soul, it is enough to ask and listen to him, but not to start talking about yourself and your opinion.

    Just ask, during the conversation, and listen. Do not build a conversation line, just listen and ask for something on the topic. Everything.

    So you can learn a lot of useful things, both about a person and about work.

    Of course, do not fall for such a divorce yourself.

    Do not gossip or retell

    Whatever a person tells you, do not retell it to anyone. The same goes for gossip. You can listen to them, but so, indifferently, moderately smiling and transferring the topic to something else.

    Once you tell it all, no one will tell you anything else. Nobody anywhere loves gossips.

    Systematize a lie

    You have to lie a lot, but if you do it too diversely, then something unpleasant will happen - you will forget who you lied to.

    Lies can be grouped by standard situations. For example, as in the case of the receipt of an application for automation, when you say that “you can by TK”, but you can “from the heart”.

    More lies need to be recorded, for example - the reasons for the rejection of applications - and better detail. Otherwise it happens, someone will come running, he will ask - why they rejected my application - you immediately ask “what did I write in the answer?”.

    Do not tell the details of your work.

    When a good listener comes across, the programmer in the heat begins to tell him how simple and difficult everything is at the same time in automation on the 1C platform. Seeing that a person does not understand everything, the programmer tries to explain more simply, and sometimes it works - as a result, the person, although he did not understand everything, but remembered that there is nothing complicated there.

    The problem is that next time it will be difficult for you to deceive. The person will not know the details, but will begin to understand the complexity of automation in comparison - at the level of documents, reports, etc. Knowing that that report is simple, and this one seems to be the same, he will not allow himself to be led by the nose.

    It is better to keep the sacrament and beware when asked and listened to.

    Personal life

    About his not to tell others not interested.

    If you talk about your own, and there is something to cling to - catch on.

    If you listened to someone else, and there is something to cling to, you will have to cling. For example, if a person has a difficult life situation, you will not be able to treat him as before. If you know that he does not have enough money, and he, foolishly, signed up for you as an enemy, then you will have to make concessions to him, otherwise his conscience will be tortured.

    Information about the difficulties in his personal life can be used, but very, very carefully, and better - only in a positive way. For example, to help an employee who has three children, improve their qualifications and salary.

    Sometimes knowledge about a person’s personal life changes attitudes towards him for the worse, which spoils the working relationship.

    In general, you know less - it works easier.

    Resist, but not before damage

    It happens that someone behaves incorrectly. For example, the accounting department does not want to learn to close the month on its own, correct the minus and straighten out the settlements.

    You, as an intelligent person, want them to do it all themselves - this is their job. But, since you have a confrontation, everyone will take a waiting position - both you and them.

    During the waiting position, they will be silent. If they start saying that there is a problem, there will be two months before the crisis, and it needs to be solved, then the result will be one — they will be put to their own solution.

    And you are not silent, but do not insist - just sometimes add fuel to the fire, reminding of yourself at an opportunity. If you splash too much, they will be forced to do everything on their own, and you will not get all the bonuses from this situation.

    It is better to bring the situation to almost a crisis, and then intervene. For example, when there is a week or two left before the deadline for reporting (see the situation), you should be loudly indignant, and say that you need to save the company, and the bookkeeping is handcuffed, and you told them a hundred times, but no one listens, and again everything do it yourself, but how much can you have already ... Well, do it. You will be a knight on a white horse.

    And they will be unhappy fools who almost ruined the enterprise with their whims.

    Do not rely on one

    There should always be several points of support if you are in a turbulent environment. The most reliable - the owner, but it is not absolute, because owners sometimes open new businesses and leave.

    Leaders, even of the highest rank, also change - no one is eternal. Therefore, do not rely on one, two or three. Better - all at once, and no one at the same time.

    Save drowning people

    When someone is in a depressing situation, and he faces dismissal, try to help him. Even if it is your enemy. Even if you yourself brought it to a depressing position.

    Being a clear reason for someone’s being fired is not a good line in reputation. But to be a savior is much more interesting. If a person can be saved, and the likelihood of this is high, he will be your debtor. Do not forget to use later.

    Study subject areas

    Sales, purchases, production, RnD, warehouse, accounting, finance, etc. - there is nothing particularly difficult in this, and you don’t have to dig deep, to narrow specialization. It is enough to know the basic principles to use them for their own purposes. For example, in wars, poking people in the “shoals that even I, an IT specialist, understand.”

    Sense of humor

    It is most important. Never lose it.

    Sense of humor and having your own goals - this is the main recipe for comfortable survival in a turbulent corporate environment.

    Remember that all this fuss is nothing more than a game in kindergarten, when ten kids run and try to sit on nine chairs.

    The business you are in is a regular bus. You stopped at a bus stop, for some time you feel uncomfortable, but you know that in ten stops you will get out and go about your business. Or take another bus.

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