Professional toilets, what can they be?

    Our time is famous for professionalism. Not in the sense that a lot of professionals have become. It means that it has become fashionable to call professional any quality thing done, with a price an order of magnitude higher than analogues. Once, a parabur colleague left the toilet with the thought, “Why aren't there professional toilets?” And we began to fantasize on this subject, comparing with photographic equipment. The results are below. :)

    First, the look. A professional toilet simply needs to be black, and luxury items - with a red seat, talking about the status of both the toilet and the owner. No frills and gloss, all for the sake of practicality. The material is pleasant to the touch, similar to rubberized plastic. Tanks of different sizes are on the market, as are seats of various shapes and flush designs. The latter become the topic of holivars in all kinds of toilet forums. Someone believes that a smooth inclined flush drives, someone does not recognize anything other than “shelf” structures, pouring shit over “smooth” ones.

    Tanks are a separate topic for discussion. Together with the seat, the kit usually comes with cheap 6/3-liter whale tanks, with two drain buttons, respectively. But of course, their quality is poor. Professionals say that they “smear”, give out a not-so-clean surface and have poor constructiveness. In a word, you can wash it off, but you have to use additional post-processing with a brush. It is clear that such a flush, like any full automation, is offensive to real serunov. Therefore, they buy tanks with manual adjustment of the amount of water supplied. There is also a wheel of semi-automatic flushing modes that facilitate the selection of settings: fluid priority, mass priority and mixed mode for special cases.

    Misunderstanding and overflow are common among amateur beginners, although some authors specifically use these techniques for creative purposes. Professionals are frankly arrogant towards those who cannot correctly select the right amount of water. Here is a typical message from the forum of serunov (attached to the message is a photograph of the flush result):
    "Help! I choose the priority of the liquid, as taught for easy drainage, but there is a clear lack of understanding. I tried to twist manually the quantity, but there is no particular result and I feel that I am doing something wrong. " And the typical answer is: “They buy toilet bowls for themselves, not understanding what’s what, and climb with stupid questions! If you don’t get rid of such simple things, then buy yourself a whale and flush it in automation! ” Also, the forum users do not like rich fools who buy, without hesitation, the largest and most sophisticated tanks, and then complain about the huge flow of water and loud noise.

    Speaking of noise. The sound of a professional toilet should also be firm. Real experts can distinguish the flush design and the tank model by sound. Others operate with more abstract epithets, describing the sound of the toilet: deep, saturated, like a waterfall, analog murmur, soft shhshsh, or, on the contrary, too booming, too loud, not open enough, too plastic.

    Every year there are new modifications of the toilet. Forms of water discharge and distribution are evolving, they are overgrown with control panel settings, and the control itself is becoming completely digital. And the latest trend is toilets with sink function. Professionals are twisting their nose in all forums that it’s nonsense by pharmacologists and that the toilet should only fulfill its main function, but amateurs have already looked at the function and are slowly starting to use it. It’s inconvenient of course, but the quality of hand washing at the expense of 360 ° streams is much higher than in a simple sink with a tap.

    But people sophisticated in toilets, not listening to anyone, adhere to classical designs such as a toilet. They believe that only in a wooden toilet with a carved heart on the door and a deep cesspool can you really enjoy this process, which is important for us all. Natural materials are labor, and flies and newspapers instead of paper only add a special atmosphere to the process. Such professionals with lovers of amateurs love to go outdoors to exchange skills and visit labor-toilets. Participants proudly demonstrate shit on sneakers, because in the toilet it is, speaking the language of photography, already “not noise, but grain”. And whoever does not understand this is a limited person.

    You can dream almost endlessly, but it's time to run to your cheap amateur toilet bowl to do business. I am ashamed of course, but it is necessary. :)

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