Kitchen Mysteries And Refrigerator Riddles
When I was an exchange student in the states, I decided to help my “host-mom” - clean the kitchen. This led to completely unexpected results - the woman burst into tears and asked me to never do this again. Not that I messed up something. It’s just that, as it turned out, for her the kitchen was something sacred - where everything lay in certain places and where outsiders were forbidden to enter. It was then that I realized that the kitchen is not at all an ordinary place.
If you think about it, there are a great number of kitchen mysteries. For example - the mystery of the NBP. NBP is not Limonov’s party, but “unnecessary household appliances”. Such as a sandwich maker, for example. Or a coffee grinder. Or a toaster. People buy them, use them several times, and then clean them forever. Or give it to your friends as soon as they move to their first rented apartment, where there is nothing. Hey, you don't need a toaster? What about the mixer?
A man draws a fantasy for himself as he makes himself toasts or hot sandwiches in the morning. And this fantasy is valuable in itself. As soon as the device is bought, all the mystery disappears.
Or take the riddles of the refrigerator. Oh, there are so many refrigerated mysteries. For example, the secret of an empty saucer. You open, you happen to be a refrigerator - and there is an empty saucer. But you know for sure that you didn’t put empty dishes there. So something happened. But what? Chicken half ate an apple? Oil emigrated to a neighbor, because there is an imported refrigerator? Did lard order cheese?
What about refrigerated castling? When I was little, the freezer was always on top. And now she’s almost always from below. But I do not remember holding a national referendum on this issue. They did not ask me about this. And you?
No, it’s certainly more convenient, no doubt. But why did it take some fifty years for the engineers to change everything? Maybe they just wanted to fast - we’ll see how many years these idiots will bend over their onions before they ask them to swap the refrigerator and freezer.
And also a refrigerator - he is like a member of the family. It grows over the years, have you noticed? Previously, there were such small Sniges or ZILs, and now just huge units are sold. And what’s most interesting - you throw away the old refrigerator, buy a new one, and your wife tells you - look how much free space is. But six months pass - and there is nowhere to put a new grub.
The refrigerator has ceased to be a device for the preservation of food. Now this is just an intermediate point between the store and the trash. People just cook the products and put them in the refrigerator so that they get to the right condition. Overgrown with mold. They started to stink. Then the products are thrown away, usually with reproach - I bought you red fish, but you didn’t eat it.
And it happens in expensive delicacies. I never remember that potatoes are moldy. Or onions. I always spoil either red fish or red caviar. Because you buy these products - as a gift to yourself, because you are so cool and successful. But to devour everything on the same day is indecent. Still expensive. And then when you remove the soup, you push the delicacy into the corner. And you forget about him until he starts to stink.
Smells in the kitchen are also an important part of mystery. There are, of course, simple things. He took, for example, and threw the smoked horse mackerel into the trash. And throw out the trash lazy in the evening. It’s necessary, in a good way, because it will stink in the morning, but it’s lazy anyway.
You get up in the morning to drink coffee - the crap is terrible. You bend down under the sink to make sure that it is horse mackerel, brought the bucket to your nose - and calmed down. Another thing is the unknown stink. Even if the stench is not strong - you still need to find a source, otherwise the roof will simply move out.
It’s also cool when the neighbor’s smell goes through the ventilation duct. You are your wife - the neighbors are fried chicken. And she told you - no, it's just a buckwheat burned.
So the kitchen is the main place in the home. It is not by chance that they say something like “he knows the whole inner kitchen very well, since he worked in ...” But the "inner bedroom" or "inner toilet" - do not say.
Another mystery, if you think about it.
Read old reports from the nostrils
If you think about it, there are a great number of kitchen mysteries. For example - the mystery of the NBP. NBP is not Limonov’s party, but “unnecessary household appliances”. Such as a sandwich maker, for example. Or a coffee grinder. Or a toaster. People buy them, use them several times, and then clean them forever. Or give it to your friends as soon as they move to their first rented apartment, where there is nothing. Hey, you don't need a toaster? What about the mixer?
A man draws a fantasy for himself as he makes himself toasts or hot sandwiches in the morning. And this fantasy is valuable in itself. As soon as the device is bought, all the mystery disappears.
Or take the riddles of the refrigerator. Oh, there are so many refrigerated mysteries. For example, the secret of an empty saucer. You open, you happen to be a refrigerator - and there is an empty saucer. But you know for sure that you didn’t put empty dishes there. So something happened. But what? Chicken half ate an apple? Oil emigrated to a neighbor, because there is an imported refrigerator? Did lard order cheese?
What about refrigerated castling? When I was little, the freezer was always on top. And now she’s almost always from below. But I do not remember holding a national referendum on this issue. They did not ask me about this. And you?
No, it’s certainly more convenient, no doubt. But why did it take some fifty years for the engineers to change everything? Maybe they just wanted to fast - we’ll see how many years these idiots will bend over their onions before they ask them to swap the refrigerator and freezer.
And also a refrigerator - he is like a member of the family. It grows over the years, have you noticed? Previously, there were such small Sniges or ZILs, and now just huge units are sold. And what’s most interesting - you throw away the old refrigerator, buy a new one, and your wife tells you - look how much free space is. But six months pass - and there is nowhere to put a new grub.
The refrigerator has ceased to be a device for the preservation of food. Now this is just an intermediate point between the store and the trash. People just cook the products and put them in the refrigerator so that they get to the right condition. Overgrown with mold. They started to stink. Then the products are thrown away, usually with reproach - I bought you red fish, but you didn’t eat it.
And it happens in expensive delicacies. I never remember that potatoes are moldy. Or onions. I always spoil either red fish or red caviar. Because you buy these products - as a gift to yourself, because you are so cool and successful. But to devour everything on the same day is indecent. Still expensive. And then when you remove the soup, you push the delicacy into the corner. And you forget about him until he starts to stink.
Smells in the kitchen are also an important part of mystery. There are, of course, simple things. He took, for example, and threw the smoked horse mackerel into the trash. And throw out the trash lazy in the evening. It’s necessary, in a good way, because it will stink in the morning, but it’s lazy anyway.
You get up in the morning to drink coffee - the crap is terrible. You bend down under the sink to make sure that it is horse mackerel, brought the bucket to your nose - and calmed down. Another thing is the unknown stink. Even if the stench is not strong - you still need to find a source, otherwise the roof will simply move out.
It’s also cool when the neighbor’s smell goes through the ventilation duct. You are your wife - the neighbors are fried chicken. And she told you - no, it's just a buckwheat burned.
So the kitchen is the main place in the home. It is not by chance that they say something like “he knows the whole inner kitchen very well, since he worked in ...” But the "inner bedroom" or "inner toilet" - do not say.
Another mystery, if you think about it.
Read old reports from the nostrils