5 Ways to Leave Work Stress at Work

Firaz has recently been appointed director of a billion-dollar company, where he has held various positions for nine years. For two years he sought this position, but, having received it, Firaz was very far from happiness.

There was a lot of stress at work. He was overwhelmed by the responsibility of managing a team of senior managers, in particular because not so long ago they were still his colleagues. Another stress factor came from the board of directors, which, although it supported his candidacy as CEO, was divided over the company's strategy. A sense of fear and inadequacy of the position also contributed - after all, the company needed to be taken forward in the process of introducing new government bills and amid intense competition from other companies.

In addition, Firaz could not say that he was succeeding in his personal life. Before taking on the role of director, he promised his wife and children that he would be home every day for dinner. And although he was physically sitting at his desk, all his attention was taken away by text messages that came to the phone every few minutes. All sorts of little things began to annoy him. Often he fell asleep when he needed to stay awake (for example, while reading a bedtime story for children), and stayed awake when he needed to sleep (at three in the morning).

Pressure from Firaz’s work seeped into his house and cut off from one of the most important resources for relieving stress - the family.

To experience such feelings, you do not have to be a CEO. Stress happens in most jobs. And here are five ways to recharge at home without adding stress to the lives of those very people who want to support you more than others.

Communicate for real. When you are not 100% at home because you are distracted by work, your family may decide that you are not paying attention to them, because you do not value them, or because they did something wrong. Instead, be sincere about what is happening. Firaz learned to say: “I am learning my new role, this is a big step uphill. "I feel overwhelmed, and perhaps in the next three months you will witness more phone conversations about work than I would like." Having shared his thoughts, Firaz could no longer keep his stress inside - after all, this often leads to emotional outbursts both at home and at work.

At the same time, be sure to correctly explain the situation with your homework. When Firaz shared his concerns about a new job, his seven-year-old daughter gave him her weekly pocket money, hoping that she could help him. Realizing that he might have made her worry more than he would like, Firaz explained to her: “Although I am under pressure at work, I wanted to get into this position and I really like to do it. Everything that excites me will be resolved as soon as I learn to cope with the new role and hire more people. ”

Arrange transitions from one state to another before returning home. On the way home from work, take the time to change your condition. Firaz began by stopping by the lake on his way home. He got out of the car and sat on the bench for a couple of minutes, looking at the landscape, and then drove on. This daily ritual was a signal to turn off work problems (at least until the end of dinner), and to prepare for a new kind of interaction with people at home. You can come up with other rituals for a conscious transition from one mode to another. If you are going home by train, you can look at the family photo before leaving the station, and in this way transfer the concentration to the family.

Share the load. Your family gives you support and feels your stressful situations and mood. While talking to them about your thoughts is helpful, don't try to dump all your pent-up emotions on them. Find a trusted friend, colleague, or coach — or perhaps someone on the board of directors — who can help you in stressful situations. It can be used as an outlet, as a way to speak out or get advice. During one of our coach sessions, Firaz was distracted by something and said that he was afraid of the upcoming conversation with the CFO. We studied the sources of his anxiety for an hour - identifying the general pattern that Firaz demonstrated each time he faced a threat of confrontation with another person - and came up with a strategy for upcoming conversations.

Choose one day to recycle. Arrange with your family what days you will be home on time and will be 100% present, and choose one day when you can be late more than usual. On this day, you may not have time for dinner, sitting at work and finishing something and shortening the to-do list. The choice of a “day of delay” is a private matter for everyone, but it helps to bring consistency to the routine, and your family will be able to make plans in advance.

Rejoice at your luck. Studies show that gratitude has many benefits, including reducing stress. Before you appear at home, take a look at your work day and determine something for which you are grateful - no matter how miserable this thing may be. On particularly difficult days, Firaz may at least be grateful for the Starbucks Café on the ground floor.

Deliberately coping with work stress outside the office, Firaz freed up a place for his wife and children while at home, which helped him to look at things in perspective, relax and cope with his worries. He was able to go to bed on time and where needed. He also discovered that the transitions from stress to relaxation made him a role model for his children. His 16-year-old son took advantage of some steps of this technique to cope with his anxiety about failed friendships.

By actively working with stress, you weaken its power over you and regain control of your work and personal life.