Requiem for a Dream
- You, most importantly, are not ssy! Hold on to me, do as I do, and everything will be chiki-farts.
Sergei has always infuriated such a collective farm style of communication, especially among unfamiliar people. It’s not clear how to respond. It seems necessary to call an idiot in the face, but you never know, suddenly a person is not always like that, he simply does not know how to express emotions with words. Moreover, Sergey is the first day at this job. At his first real job.
- Kohl, let's be more serious. - Jeanne looked sternly at the round smug face. Then she looked at the new one. - Sergey, do not listen to this old horse. Of course, he will not spoil the furrows, but he will not raise virgin lands.
Sergei had to smile - after all, the boss joked, and it seemed not entirely hopeless.
“We have high hopes for you, Seryozha.” Nicholas, we are busy loaded with fluid - there are a lot of it. We understand that we are acting inefficiently, somewhere we are missing something, we are using outdated technologies and approaches ... But we really don’t have time to stop, think, see, learn. As Covey wrote, to sharpen the saw.
Sergei nodded his head knowingly. He did not know who Covey was, but he understood the metaphor.
- You are a young, purposeful, not burdened with obligations and relationships, ambitious, and very smart programmer. You have full-time Bauman behind you. We expect from you a new stream of fresh air, a leap in the development of our systems, a breakthrough in cloud technology. So, and only so!
- Thank you, Zhanna Ivanovna. I will try.
- No middle name, just Jeanne! Wellcome to our team, Seryozha!
- Well, what I like! Is it that I myself can set up a check in any form?
- Yes, Jeanne, almost. The form is not any, but only for data objects. Orders, for example, or goods. Any checks, in any fields, taking into account the entire available context, and all - without programming.
- Seriously? This is gorgeous! Previously, only Kolya could do such checks. Remember, Kolya, you still had difficulties constantly when, when checking, you should not compare with primitives, but with guides.
“I remember why I don’t remember something.” - thoughtfully scratched Kolya's unshaven cheek. - Only this, difficulties arise only for the first time, when conscience still does not allow you to write a specific guide in quotes, in quotation marks, and compare with it, hehe hehe ... It’s an honor to lose something ...
- How to get dirty in the mud. - supported Sergey. - Until I got dirty - it's scary, you go around puddles for a kilometer, you spend a lot of time on it, but you go clean. And then bam - and you're already at the very top in the mud. And all, already do not care about the dirt, you can spank through the puddles - quickly and without stress. True, not clean.
- So, I did not understand, but this is your thing with checks ... What did you do it on, I forgot? Reactor?
- React. Strictly speaking, I converted all our forms into a react, into one component, and I already attached it to the side test - this is another component. But it is not important.
“Okay, the reaction ... Is he talking about how to walk through the mud and not be afraid?”
- No, he cleaned the dirt altogether. You can just walk, all the sidewalks are clean and beautiful, around spring and birds sing. One code, one component, tens and hundreds of different forms. Thrown out tens of thousands of lines of almost identical code.
- That's why I love this guy! Come on, Seryozha! And pull Kolya to modern technologies! Kohl, agree?
- Duck, why, well. Well, do not catch up if the topic is true.
- Well, fine, if that is so. By the way, Kolya, what about accounting? Did it close on time?
- There is no month that I would not close in 1C. It turned out, dick is clear.
- I ask without expressions. Did you close it yourself?
- Well, it’s not theirs, handshakes, to teach ... Oh, litter, it escaped ...
- Okay, now ... The main thing is that it has met the reporting deadlines, otherwise we wouldn’t flush it, and no reactors will help. Well everything, I do not distract, no pasaran!
- And what is the great meaning, Seryozha? Why is this approach better?
- Jeanne, this is the processing speed, degree of automation, elimination of data duplication, controlled transport of background information, administration costs, uniqueness ...
- And a thick, thick layer of chocolate ... - Kolya broke into a smile.
- Kolyan, good. I showed you everything yesterday and explained to you, you agreed, what are you doing now?
- Yes, I agree, a normal topic. Just do not fly a damn, and crap to the ass.
- Why, Kohl? Will you explain? - Jeanne, for some reason, missed another batch of French past her ears.
“Why explain it ... Now everything works, all systems are synchronized, operators work clearly, there are few errors.” Cho finally climb there?
- Damn, how what? - Sergey began to lose patience. - You do not soar storage in five databases of the same, in essence, the nomenclature table, but with different keys, composition of fields, and even, damn it, names and articles?
- It doesn’t soar, there are correspondence tables and data exchanges.
- Match tables ?! Which are twice as many as nomenclature tables ?! And they also do not solve their tasks, because they keep point-to-point correspondence? A? Try to compare the nomenclature from the site and the specifications from PLM or PDM!
- Through 1C they are normally matched, she knows the correspondence with the site and PLM, each individually.
“Do you hear yourself?” Comparison through 1C ... Unload from PDM a new product with a specification, load into 1C, compare components with 1Sn, create missing positions, establish correspondence for them, upload to the website, add properties, upload a photo, manually, unload 3D from PDM in the same way model, upload to the site ... OK?
- Not very optimal, of course, but it works, why are you so busy ...
- It works, why not. FIU also works! And now attention: the designer changed the bolt in the specification, took instead of GOSTovsky DINovsky. What are you going to do? Drive the whole specification again?
- Nahera ... They will throw me a position, I will quickly change hands in all places ...
- Quickly, right? But don’t you remember, last month they were looking for who bought a box of hardened springs for one and a half million, but the specifications have long been spelled out in the specifications?
- This is the operators messed up. Now all the changes go through me. I have a head in place.
“I ... I have no words.” Programmer directories leads. If there are ten - TEN - operators, with a total salary of 250 thousand rubles per month, excluding taxes, fees, depreciation, management costs ...
- Look, how many smart words I learned ... Yes, the words are all Russian, not react with angulars and reductions ... Work at the factory, and with the right dude like me, has benefited you. He said all the chiki-farts will be.
- That's enough. - Zhanna, who has been following the discussion with interest, felt the approach to a dangerous line. - Sergey is right, but Nikolai is also. In any system there are suboptimities, redundancy and a field for improvements. But I’m asking you not to forget that we are not writing term papers, but are fulfilling the tasks of a real business, with all that it implies ...
- But is it not profitable for a real business to disperse a bunch of senseless employees who can be replaced with a normal MDM system?
- Advantageous, difficult to argue. But you need to understand the timing and cost of this project. Everything sounds beautiful in words, but so far these are just words. If I now go to the general, I propose this project, then we will not be able to not fulfill it. Are you sure you took into account all the nuances of real life? Pitfalls, transition difficulties, sabotage during implementation? The same operators and their boss - how will they react to the implementation? After all, your forces fill your MDM. How well will they fill the system that will replace them?
“Well, I didn't think about that, to be honest.” But I am ready to vouch for the technology, because I saw the source code and their real work. Same CouchDB, with automatic replication ...
- Sergey, I understood about technology. But technology alone is not enough. We have leadership, projects, tasks, deadlines. Award after all. By the way, did you receive the annual prize?
- Oh yeah! If I stand in profile, you will see where she settled, hehe hehe ...
”“ Yes, and you don’t need to look, you can guess from the amber how glad you were yesterday. ” Any questions?
“Yes, if you can ... Why does Nikolai have twice as much?”
- For the help of the accounting department in closing the year and preparing for the tax audit, which we successfully passed.
- Learn student! You don’t piss this in slippers!
- And my projects? Website refactoring? DBMS performance optimization? Unified authorization service? End-to-end microservice pricing?
- Well, these are good and useful projects, Sergey, I understand that very well. But I do not know how to explain this to management. It is necessary to consider the economic effect, to collect data on metrics, etc. And it’s better to do this before the start of work in order to have objective data. You didn’t do it, did you?
- I thought the benefits of these works are obvious ... I didn’t think that later I would have to prove something ...
- Only cats will be born by themselves! Or
whatever ... Yes, shit ... - Jeanne, I would like to understand how such projects will continue in the future ...
- That's it, I need to go to the meeting, Sergey, come on another time.
- Sergey, they praised you on the RAM today, it was very nice to hear.
- What was praised for?
- For the integration of 1C and Bitrix, which you did. This is a very necessary, timely and high-quality solution. It’s especially good that you met in a short time, and did not oppose how ... As you did before.
“This is not a decision, but ... shit, I'm sorry.” If praised for this, then I don’t know ...
- Smile and wave, smile and wave! - Kolyan was right there. - You cho boots, sit and be silent.
- Okay ... - Sergey somehow awkwardly smiled. - And who praised?
- The commercial director is the most common, it was important for him to launch integration and an online store this quarter, this is his plan for a strategic session. Still a deputy in procurement, he can now quickly receive applications from customers, without waiting for processing in the sales department.
- Ha, you have to shake the Magarych from them, especially from the commercial! He has a quarterly bonus of three hundred thousand, and only thanks to you he will receive it. Come on, Serega, let’s go, let's talk with him!
- I don’t know ... I think this system will need to be redone, refactoring is needed there. I used the typical integration tools that Bitrix provides. There is such shit ... Actually, like Bitrix itself ... It would also be replaced - who even decided to make a website on it?
- This decision was made based on the results of a deep and comprehensive analysis of existing proposals for CMS and, in general, platforms for website development.
“So when was this?” Then there really was nothing else that could be called a platform or a product. Only bare html, php etc. Now there are dozens and hundreds of technologies, platforms and frameworks, and each is a cut above Bitrix. Let's ...
- Let's go without! You're weird like a hedgehog in the fog. What difference does it make to crap, what is the site on and how is it synchronized with 1C, if everything works? Serious people expressed gratitude to you, in public. What else do you want, dog?
- No, I agree that it’s good when it works. It's just ... I don't know ... That's all wrong ...
“Let me get a prize for you this quarter, if it’s wrong!” And then you will go to do your refactoring, and smoke frameworks!
- Keep your pocket wider, bast shoes. I need a premium myself, I have a mortgage.
- Sergey, can you formulate your proposal more systematically, by changing the site platform? Terms, cost, required competencies. Well and the main thing is the problematic, what is wrong there.
- Yes, everything is wrong there, basically, in the foundation.
- Well, at least you can show me? Or Kolya? I constantly use the site and the internal portal, and I don’t remember that there were any obvious mistakes or inconveniences ...
- There you need to look at the code, metadata that is not there, a clumsy DBMS that is not suitable for real large projects. I would change everything there. No, not like that - just would replace Bitrix, redo the site. Although, this is work for a year, no less ...
- Here I am about the same thing, Sergey. Modern technology is good, but we do not work in Google, but in real business, there are completely different needs. Although, of course, do not forget about development.
- Here you understand, Zhanna, we must keep in mind not only the current tasks, but also the development and future of our systems. In the current state, the system becomes more and more heavy and dependent, there is no way to make quick changes.
“Well, did you somehow make quick integration?”
- It is rather a quick crutch, not integration. Well, she’s a typical one. And if atypical integration is needed, then it will not work quickly.
- We will pray that we do not need such crap! And if they ask, we’ll get ourselves a budget! And we’ll hire some mediocrity so that they all remake us!
- This is called outsourcing, Kolyan.
- Zina! We, too, are not made with a finger!
- Well, yes, you are right ... Let the contractors pick their asses if necessary ...
- Seryozha, what kind of expression ...
- Yes, I'm sorry, Jeanne. But is it really possible to get a prize for this integration?
- Of course, no questions asked. Today I’ll deal with this issue, under the good mood of the authorities. After all, the General was also present at the RAM. You just don’t go and tell on every corner that something is wrong with Bitrix.
“Yasen dick, I’ve been married for several years.” Sergei shouted cheerfully, with pretense of enthusiasm.
- Noticed! I am also a grave!
- Great! - Kolyan looked up from the monitor, and looked at the satisfied Sergey. - Where were you? Went to the women?
- You could say that, cho. I was in accounting.
- Half a day? Didn’t they bore you there? There are ten of them, one more beautiful than the other.
“It will be our secret with them, what we did there ...” Sergey portrayed a womanizer smile.
- So, enough of these topics to discuss with me. Seriously, Sergey, what were you doing?
- They closed the month, what else should be done in accounting. I sat, checked the wiring, reduced the turnover.
- What the fuck are you? - Kolyan flushed up. - In this quarter, I taught them for two weeks how to close the month, after all they got it, even me. Let them close themselves, but we are still programmers, not accountants.
- Well, go, prove to them that you are a programmer, and they will cope. They don’t know a damn thing. They made big beautiful eyes, “Seryozha, help, we clicked something here, and everything broke.”
- Listen, well, I did not expect this from you. Who screamed all the time that doing accounting, and generally 1C - was not worthy of a decent programmer?
- I do not know. I probably. Generally, fuck off for a change. I provided us with an award, honor and respect. After a week, income tax if you forget.
- You deepened our grave by half a meter! Well, you moron, I listened, even believed a little that I’m doing bullshit, started to teach them, automated some checks from them so that they wouldn’t get anymore!
“Are you, the resurrection of Lazarus ... Or the insight of the blind ... Well, don’t shout, the next time you go yourself, you’ll stand over their souls so that they themselves do everything.
- I’ll go and I won’t ask you! I’m going to go right now, I’ll make them a spree, generally fucked up! Sitting, ten cows, distracting decent people from proper work!
- Nikolay, wait, no need to go anywhere. Not that moment.
“What is the“ wrong moment, ”Jeanne? I've been working here for five years, and the whole moment is not that! Two accounting staff changed, but the whole moment is not that! We postpone everything, postpone it, everything later, after reporting, but as the quarter ends, so once, things have accumulated, blah blah blah ... I’m tired of doing this fucking bookkeeping, I want to create really useful systems, not collapse black and red!
- Well, do not do accounting, who forces you. - Sergey smiled unkindly. - I will be engaged. And you pick the frameworks, watch the github and pull requests send to the same right guys like you.
“You are not 1 Snick, Sergey.” - Jeanne was in dismay. - Your key competencies seem to be in web programming.
- Let them lie, sorry or something. As the task of web programming will be, I’ll do it. In the meantime, the company needs to submit reports, or download price lists from files, or set up a Wi-Fi for the director, I will do just that.
“Well ... Well, I'm glad to hear that.” And I ask you not to forget, Nikolai, that the needs of a real business, and not self-development, always come first. We are not a university.
- Yes, what self-development, Jeanne! Well, I'm for the enterprise and try, not for myself! I just want to make sure that we programmers do not have to deal with any nonsense. We didn’t study for this, and you didn’t take us to work for this!
“Let me judge why I took you to work ... I hear you, I understand your concern, but, once again: business problems come first, always.” If necessary, I myself am engaged in similar work.
“Don’t listen to him, Jeanne.” Kolyan seems to have indigestion. Again shit eating without a spoon, hehe hehe ...
”“ Come on, you damn opportunist ... ”
- So, that's enough! I will not allow discord in the team! You are both right, both are happy for your own enterprise, although you disagree. But now, in difficult crisis times, you have to step on the throat of your song and think only about the good of the enterprise.
- And do not forget about yourself, what’s there ... Kolyan, okay, I'm sorry, don’t freak out.
“I do not“ freak out, ”dear Seryozha. Zhanna, I'll come to you today, we need to seriously talk.
“Well, you know where my office is.”
- You, most importantly, are not ssy! Hold on to me, do as I do, and everything will be chiki-farts.
Victor was always enraged by such a collective farm style of communication, especially among unfamiliar people. It’s not clear how to respond. It seems necessary to call an idiot in the face, but you never know, suddenly a person is not always like that, he simply does not know how to express emotions with words. Moreover, Victor is the first day at this job. At his first real job.
- Seryozha, let's be more serious. - Jeanne looked sternly at her skinny smug face. Then she looked at the new one. “Victor, don’t listen to this old horse.” Of course, he will not spoil the furrows, but he will not raise virgin lands.
Victor had to smile - after all, the boss joked, and it seems to be not entirely hopeless.
“We have high hopes for you, Victor.” Sergei, we are busy loaded with fluid - there are a lot of it. We understand that we are acting inefficiently, somewhere we are missing something, we are using outdated technologies and approaches ... But we really don’t have time to stop, think, see, learn. As Covey wrote, to sharpen the saw.
Victor nodded his head knowingly. He did not know who Covey was, but he understood the metaphor.
- You are a young, purposeful, not burdened with obligations and relationships, ambitious, and very smart programmer. You have full-time Baumanka behind you. We expect from you a new stream of fresh air, a leap in the development of our systems, a breakthrough in cloud technology. So, and only so!
- Thank you, Zhanna Ivanovna. I will try.
- No middle name, just Jeanne! Wellcome to our team, Vitya!