Corporate Interview

- Sergei! Sergei!

Sergey started, turned away from the computer and took off the headphones. On the side stood Lena, the supply manager, with some papers in her hands and looking at him questioningly.

- What? - Sergey asked.

- Interview.

- What?

- We have agreed to an interview for a corporate magazine.

- Damn, right ... Right now? I wanted to work here, specially went on vacation ...

- Right now. - firmly said Lena. - I, as you noticed, also specifically went on vacation, and only for the interview.

- Oh, yes, exactly ... - Sergey began to worry. - Okay, come on. How long is this?

- I do not know. - Lena shrugged. - There are many questions, we will start faster - we will finish faster.

Lena resolutely took an empty chair, sat down beside her, laid out her papers, took a pen and prepared to write something down. Then I thought for a few seconds, pulled a smartphone out of my pocket.

- Do you mind if I record it on the recorder? Reluctance to write, then do a shorthand.

- Okay. - Sergey shrugged his shoulders. - I have one question, for starters - what for?

- What the hell?

- Interview fix.

- People want to know more about their leaders.

- What for?

- Well, damn it, Sergey ...

- What? I'm serious. I, too, belong to people, right?

- So.

“But I’m not at all interested in knowing about managers.” How they work, what they can do, yes, but this is not learned through an interview, but in practice. What do I care about their personal life, for example?

- Do you read magazines?

- Not.

- Well, of course ... And on instagram who are you subscribed to?

- No one, I did not register there.

- Because "what for"?

- Yes.

“Okay, then don't try to understand.” And do not spoil my interview with your sentences. We agreed with you, let's follow the plan.

- Good. - Sergey sighed.

- I have two types of questions. No, three ... The first one is prefabricated, standard, one might say. The second is questions from people written anonymously. The third - questions arising along the way. Clear?

- Clear. One more question.

- Which one?

“Why are you doing this?” You are the procurement manager.

- And what does it matter?

- Well, we also have Tatiana, hare-director, it seems that it’s more like her duties ...

- I don’t know where it looks like, but the corporate journal is not written by the personnel department. It can be said, folk art under the auspices of the director.

- I see. Let me guess: are you an org?

- Who? Orc?

- No, org. Well, there kultorg, sportorg, propaganda brigade ... Did the institute deal with such activities?

- Generally yes, but what does it matter?

- Yes, I'm so for myself ... Let's start.

- Good. First question - tell about your family.

- Wife, two children.

Lena sat and looked at Sergey, waiting for the continuation. After a few seconds, I realized that he would not be, and a little sour.

- It's all?

- Everything that our respected people should know about my family. - Sergey answered seriously.

- What does the wife do? Children? Study? Or even go to kindergarten?

- It has absolutely no value.

- Clear as you want. - Lena sighed deeply. - Question number two - where did you study?

- At the institute.

- Well, it is clear that not in the conservatory. Let's take a closer look, Sergey.

- So you need my profile, or what? All this information is in the personnel department, even a scan of the diploma.

- I wonder what you say about it.

- And, there that ... Polytechnic Institute, instrument-making faculty, qualification engineer, specialty - measuring equipment.

- Is it some kind of technology?

- Well, yes ... and methods. From there, love of numbers and statistics.

- How did you study? Good? Diploma red?

- Yes, the diploma is red. He studied poorly, but he understood in time how everything was arranged there.

- And How?

- You have to be in the middle.

- Like this?

- Well, keep up with the crowd, go in the general stream. In time to pass labs, colloquiums, control, coursework, and so on. If everyone writes bombs, then participate. If everyone writes spurs, then also participate. You help, you help. If you leave behind - for example, if you do not pass the test in time, then you will be left alone and you will be tormented with the one-on-one teacher - look for him, catch, run, and crawl. Crowd easier.

- That is, at the institute you were the exact opposite of your present?

- In terms of? No, why?

- Well, now you obviously do not keep the crowd ...

- So now I'm in a different system, and other goals.

- What's the difference?

- At the institute, the main thing is to go through this path with minimal losses, and learn something along the way. There is no point, for example, to change the system, you should not even try. She has lined up for years, if not centuries, as she alone benefits. She, the system, has certain requirements - it is only necessary to fulfill them in order to slip through and live on. Like bureaucracy.

- Bureaucracy?

- Well yes. Is she everywhere? You can just sit and whine - well, they have bred the bureaucracy, they don’t give life. And you can take a closer look, understand the principles of the functioning of the system, and decide whether to follow these laws or not. The main thing - to understand what you want to achieve.

- And what did you want to achieve at the institute?

- Finish it.

- What do you want at work?

- Change the system.

- She does not suit you?

- This is a strange question, Lena ... How can I not be satisfied with the system that was not created by me? This is the system of Evgeny Viktorovich, he created it the way he considered necessary. Well, or how it happened, it does not matter. Any system has the right to life, well, to death - if it interferes with another system. And a person simply chooses for himself - stay and accept, stay and change, leave. Everything. No ratings are bad there, or good, just facts and figures.

- Then why do you want, or rather - decided to change this system?

- Because I am a programmer.

“I've heard it somewhere.” - smiled Lena. - This is a meme of some kind.

- The essence of the programmer - changing systems. Well, if he is not sitting on support or technical support - in this case his task will be to maintain the system in working condition. A normal or standard programmer builds and modifies systems. Such a job.

- Wait a minute ... The programmer changes the systems related to automation, right? Well, or with information technology. Sites there, mobile applications, accounting systems. Is not it so?

- Yes and no. There is no fundamental difference, just the information system is more plastic, simple and accessible for changes. You take it and you change it, and she immediately responds - you don’t have to persuade anyone, prove anything, look for compromises, argue and swear. Here you write the code: X = 2. What will happen?

“I don’t know, I’m not a programmer ...”

- Damn, well, is it something like math ...

- Will variable X be assigned the value 2?

- Yes. Now imagine that X is not a variable, but a person. Supply Manager Lena, for example. And you say - so, now you look at incoming applications not a hundred times a day, but once in the morning, you take them to work and no longer get distracted. What will happen next?

- Well, if it is about me, then I ... And why once a day?

- Here is the answer. - Sergey smiled.

- What reply? I asked a question.

- Your question is the answer. The variable has no questions, it submits without question. This is an absolutely plastic element of the system. And you, Lena, are not plastic, but rather an elastic element. If you are sensitive to pressure, then you resist, argue, ask questions, swear, run to call mom, and eventually return to the original state. And the system, respectively, too. Changes do not occur.

- That is the main problem - people?

- Not a problem, but a task, or a feature. This is a somewhat exaggerated example, of course ... Not only people resist change. Take, I do not know ... A piece of wood and a knife, and try to carve a figure, any. After all, it will not work out right away either?

“It won't work for me at all.” - smiled Lena. - I will stay without fingers too.

- Not in this case, but in the speed and methods of making changes. The variable changes in a split second, the tree - in hours, a person - as lucky, years can go. Similarly, methods of influence, or making changes. Variable enough to put an equal sign to make it work. Put at least one hundred equal signs, nothing will come out - you need to take a knife, or a machine, and figure it out. Human exposure is even harder. Some people just need to give an order, someone to ask, some are being motivated, instructions, threats of dismissal, automation, etc. still help. Just another arsenal of methods, but the essence is the same: change.

- So, I forgot ... And where are the programmers?

- The essence of the programmer - changes. No other profession known to me is as close to change as a programmer.

- Why, then, all the programmers are not rushed to engage in organizational changes?

- I don't know everything. But many are engaged. This market is still empty, but the need is colossal. All organizations have the same problem - clumsy changes. In most cases, they simply do not exist, because no one does them. In the small business, the owner somehow cope somehow, and on average and large, if you really look, almost no one. For one simple reason - there is no such position.

- Which one? Change programmer?

- It does not matter whether the programmer or not, the point is not in the title. Just come to any organization, and find the person who manages the changes of the entire company. Not in the sense that he signed a certain piece of paper “Plan of Changes” and holds meetings once a month, where he controls the execution of instructions. And in that he has studied the system, he knows its flaws, where what is lost, where the brakes go, subsides horizontal communication, react too late, and so on. There is no such person.

- Why?

- And I already said - there is no such position.

- And the leaders?

- And the leaders, I apologize, too zazhralis. Formally, yes, change is their main job. They are given a system in their hands - for example, the supply department. The head of supply must solve two tasks - maintenance and change. Unaccompanied, the system will collapse, this is understandable.

- Well yes.

“But the right leader must understand that accompaniment is bad. Any normal programmer understands this, and organizes the work of his system so that it requires a minimum of his attention. And the head - on the contrary. He does everything so that the system could not exist without him. All questions, even minimally significant, are tied to themselves - coordination, decision-making, up to and including the preparation of reports. Just imagine, there is such a system - e-mail. Now you are writing a letter, and it itself is sent to the addressee when you press the button. So?

- Like so.

- Most decent companies rent mail, because it’s easier and faster - you pay a small amount, and everything works for you, you don’t do maintenance at all. And there are indecent companies, or more precisely, indecent system administrators and IT directors who all around are convinced that you cannot trust services, you must keep an e-mail server at home. And what is the result? E-mail, this simplest, in fact, system, begins to devour resources and require maintenance. Under it there is a server that costs money itself, it costs money, it requires administration, and even a manager. Email Manager. If you get to insanity, then this manager will coordinate every letter sent.

- Well, this is really insanity ...

- The example is exaggerated, but is the essence clear? Here is your supply manager, for example. How many times a day do you run to him to sign a specification?

- Some. We have such a process - it is necessary to coordinate each specification.

- And who wrote this process?

- I do not know ...

- And I know. - Sergey turned away from Lena, rummaged in the papers on the table, took out a document of sheets of twenty, fastened and hung with signatures and stamps. - Here, the supply process. We look at the stamp, who designed?

- Our Basil ...

- Your Basil. - Sergey nodded. - He is the author of the system, he is also the owner of the process, if in terms of warlocks.

- Whom?

- Well, these, which processes all know. Vasya, in fact - the programmer who created the system. With algorithms, roles, inputs and outputs, control procedures and records. And he decided that it was necessary to agree on each specification, even if we ordered the same quantity of the same item from the same supplier within ten years. Tell me what?

- I do not know. - Lena shrugged. - In general, Vasya constantly complains that he needs to agree on specifications.

- He invented himself, he complains. - Sergey smiled. - A bad programmer, I'm telling you. Or too smart-ass. After all, he, in fact, made sure that the system did not work without it. Because he, consciously or subconsciously, believes that he will be expelled, if he himself does not endow himself with some important function. It seems the same agreement. And then complains that it is sewn up, there is no time, there is no time to sit down and think about development. Do you understand what he has no time for?

- To change?

- Exactly! - Sergey exclaimed. - The real bad programmer, there are a lot of such in the factories. They sit somewhere near the accounting department, and pretend that they are very busy, solving, in fact, the tasks that the system must solve, which they themselves create. All run around, all ass in the soap, and the development of no time. Because all the time is occupied by the system. The leader placed himself in the system, pulled a bunch of threads to himself, ties, sat down in the matrix, unable to move.

- So how should it be?

- A need to stand on the sidelines, like a real programmer. Created the first version of the system, launched, moved aside, and watched. At first, yes, you run, you close fire questions, you make urgent changes, you even work for users if the situation requires it. But it is necessary to extinguish the fire, but not to inflate. I put out, stabilized the system - that's it, step aside! Watch, debug, take measurements, look for losses, tears, and change! Do better, optimize, accelerate, and so on. Made changes - stabilize again, observe, measure, analyze, evaluate.

- And what kind of stabilization? Is this some kind of method?

- Well, yes, from the arsenal of quality management. About the Deming cycle heard?

- Yes of course.

- In the quality management literature, I met a slightly different version of it, I like it more. Think up a change, implement it in the system, stabilize it, evaluate the result. After the introduction of any changes, the system begins to fever, the indicators jump, problems emerge - the very fires. You stabilize in order to return the system to a controlled state, and only then you estimate the effect of your changes.

- So, stop. - Lena frowned. - Something our interview turns into a lecture ...

- So you are the owner of the process. - Sergey smiled. - Moderate. You have organized this process, you know its purpose, do not become its hostage. Stop me, direct me to the right direction.

- Good. To summarize: the manager must make changes, and not engage in one accompaniment. So?

- Yes.

- And you will work in this direction, right?

- In terms of?

- Well, to do from managers - programmers.

- No, why ... What do you stick to this word?

- So you yourself clung. - smiled Lena. - Everywhere you insert it - a programmer, a programmer, a programmer ...

- I'm not trying to glorify programmers, I just spend the analogy as I can. If you find a more suitable name for a person who stands apart from the system and changes it, I will use your definition.

Lena thought. At first, she gazed at Sergei, then looked away to the side.

- Damn, I do not even know ... The head does not fit?

- Not. Well, that is, it may be appropriate, but every time you have to wade through the hardships of stereotypes, the main one being: the head is the boss, the lump, the head, the main one. I also suffer, explaining the similarities between the programmer and the manager.

- Well, yes, it can be seen ... - Lena smiled. - Maybe a business analyst?

“Maybe, but I don't like it.” The word "analyst" is embarrassing, gives a certain passivity, or something ... It seems like such a dude is sitting, looking at business processes, and analyzing, analyzing, analyzing ... And then he gives a certain conclusion. Do you understand? Gives out! Paper there, or presentation - gives the same leaders, and dumps. Everyone reads about their problems, but they don’t know what to do. Even if the analyst writes a section with recommendations, there’s little point - everyone already knows what to do, well, at least approximately. But nobody will do anything, right?

- I do not know ... Well, I understood. I do not know a more suitable word. So, will you call programmers?

- No, I invented another definition - a business programmer.

- You thought?

- Well yes.

- What for?

- Why what?

- Why do you invent terms and definitions?

- Not why, but when.

- when?

- Yes, when. When I can not find the right one.

- So if you set yourself such a goal, you can probably find ...

- And how long will it take?

- I do not know ...

- So I do not know. I set myself some limit, in time - for example, one hour. I sit on the Internet, looking for. If found, I take a suitable definition. If not found - invent myself.

- So this is ... Not scientific.

- And we are not engaged in science. - Sergey smiled. - A practice. Well I am not writing a dissertation, and not an article in a scientific journal, where there are certain requirements and standards. My task is the result, and some correct terminology doesn’t affect it at all, agree.

- So, immediately, I can not agree ... I would argue, probably.

- For God's sake! - Sergey smiled even wider. - Only without me, ok? I ate this crap even in graduate school, when for every sneeze you need to look for sources, indicate the page number and year of the publisher, just to follow certain rules made up by someone.

- Wait a minute, and how will people understand you?

- What people? - Sergey raised his eyebrows puzzledly.

- Well, I do not know ... Here you state some method, or a term, on paper, someone will read it and say that you have thought up something that someone has already invented for a long time.

- So what?

- It will start to argue with you, and it turns out that you are wrong.

- What is wrong?

- In fact, they called the existing method their own word.

- and?

- What and?

- Well, so what?

- How so what? This is wrong!

- Damn, Lena ... You are like the editorial board. Right or wrong - very relative categories. If you are writing a dissertation, then you end up in a certain system, with certain rules. There you can not give the methods their names. Why, how, why - it does not matter, such is the system. If you want to be in this system, then you need to follow these rules. It's like a coordinate system, you understand?

- Not really ...

- Goals, values, evaluation of results. For a thesis or a scientific article, references are important. Roughly speaking, there is a certain indicator - the size of the list of references. After all, you wrote a diploma?

- Yes, of course ...

- Did you have a big list of references?

“Well, I don't remember ...”

- And I remember, he was holding three sheets. Why?

- I don’t know, maybe you really had to read all this in order to do the work ...

- Well, well ... Just such requirements - the list should be large. The meaning of this demand is exactly zero, but it is there, and no one in their right mind will dispute it. A diploma is necessary to write. Therefore, recursion is simply applied.

- What?

- Take one book you need. It has a list of references. Specify this book, and a dozen sources listed in it itself. If you don’t have enough, take a couple of books from this list in the library, open them at the end - there’s a list of references again, and drag a couple more dozen titles. And so, until you get bored.

- What's the point?

- No. Only requirements to fulfill. Because in that coordinate system it is important. And in ours?

- What is ours?

- Well, here we have a company, and we are engaged in change. For example, I need to create a plan - what, where and how we will change. Need a list of references?

“I don't know ...

” “And I know — the fuck he didn't give up there.” There is no such requirement. It is even harmful.

- Why?

- Because it is full of people who have nothing to do. You write that you use methods from TOC - there are sure to be people who read the book and begin to pour in clever questions, such as why is it like this, if in the book - like this? And instead of changes, we will deal with the defense of the next thesis.

- What is important in our coordinate system?

- Result. Methodology - later, and a very small circle of people.

- Why?

- I do not know. - Sergey shrugged his shoulders. “I have already done several draft changes, and the results were quite good, at least Kurchatov said so.” I, like a fool, then sat down and wrote all the methods I applied - with names, references, page numbers and quotations. Who read it?

- Who?

- No one.

- Why?

- You have already asked. - Sergey smiled. - I don’t know why in my heart. Shit all, exactly how the result was achieved. Well, that is, not everyone - I find it interesting, that's why I write. Well, those who work with me are interested.

- Who is this, for example?

- Stas, a programmer.

- Stas is also involved in change?

- I used to do it. He introduced scram in the department of designers a couple of years ago. Now I also included him in the team, so he will have to read the diary of the project.

- And remember your invented method names?

- Well, yes, otherwise we just can not talk. How do you imagine that? Try to apply the method, well, this one, like it, we used it in the supply, yes no, not this one, but that damn thing, well, you are stupid, not the first, but the eighth one. It's easier to spend a couple of minutes, give a name and use it.

- Ok, I understood ... The main thing is the result?

- For the company - yes. She is like a patient in a hospital. The main thing is to be cured, and how diseases, pills, and therapies are called there are no difference at all. Then, when everything works out, he may ask, or maybe not, just drag the cognac, shake hands and run away on his own business. And the doctor will share his experience with colleagues, if he wants.

- And if you decide to become KMN, you will still have to sit in the library ...

- Well, yes ... But the practice is more interesting.

- And cognac. Clear. - Lena nodded and turned off the recorder.

- Everything? - Sergey asked.

- Not. - Lena smiled mysteriously. - Now - anonymous questions from colleagues.

- Damn ... - Sergey picturesquely dropped his head, as if the neck instantly became plastic.

- No, there is the most interesting.

- Who would doubt that…