August 26, 2010 at 20:57Bosses and how to live with them
Do you love your boss? I mean, platonic? Not afraid when he calls you to himself? Have you ever seen him?
It is often heard, especially from young specialists: “The boss is a tyrant (bore, screamer, silent, bad in a word)!”. After my previous article, which found, to put it mildly, a negative response, it slipped through the discussions about the bosses. I offer a simple game: "What are you afraid of." I hope this can be useful in life and at work.
This game is generally very useful, but especially as applied to the bosses. So, we will analyze simple boss phobias and try to look for methods of struggle / cohabitation with such bosses ... no, rather, phobias.
Go!
Fear 1: "He will fire me!"
Say “stop” to yourself! And honestly answer the question: is there anything to fire? You maliciously do not do the work, do not come to work without inquiries, "lose" important documents? If so, then this is not a phobia, this is the right fear. They must be driven away so that they do not corrupt the people. And if not?
Then why should you be kicked out? Even with staff reductions, the necessary employees remain (I know of cases when they also got a salary!). Why? Because they are needed, they are doing some business processes correctly, quickly, smartly. What business process are you doing well? If there is no answer, think about it.
If there is, then expand and then dismissal is not scary. Good staff like hot cakes and do not disappear!
Well, the "game" with this fear:
Dismiss -> there will be no money -> there will be nothing to buy food for -> children will grow up in garbage dumps -> you will starve to death
So: how long after dismissal you can not starve to death (death is the worst outcome)? I believe that you have time in reserve!
Fear 2. "He will yell at me!"
The same question: is there anything? If there is, then an excellent vaccination before entering the office is already to drive away possible situations in the head, admit your mistake / guilt / inaction. Do not avoid, do not hide, but vice versa. You will be surprised how much easier it will be to listen even to a math-math; (key point) you do not resist!
Compare two options: they rolled you into a tambourine (polished the end face, hit it hard in the face). In the first case, you stoically held the blow, clenching your teeth and spitting them after. After the blow, the head rings, bloodshots - darkness! And the second one: you are relatively relaxed, ready to strike precisely at the tambourine (end face, face) and at the moment of impact you didn’t resist, but deviated after the blow ...
Just like resistance: you firmly “hold the blow” - then you solder yourself in beer in the pub, scolding other authorities modestly silent about his influence on the situation.
If your fault is not. The truth is, then ... look carefully! They just never yell like that. For example, you are a dark gray mouse, which melts at any increase in voice. Timid bosses, having received a thrashing from a superior, can take advantage :) Maybe it's time to stop melting?
A more lively case: you repeatedly make “miscalculations” according to management. And once again, even if now your direct fault is not there, it’s so nice to rip the evil off on you! Because there is always an argument in the bosom: “Well then for the old! So as not to forget the lessons. ”
Summary: Look for meaning even in a good language. By the way, it is not difficult to find him in such a hysterical scream: he is simple, repeated by refrain several times and alternated with “semantic pauses”. No need to interrupt the flow immediately (you are so resisting), let it go out, let it pass by you. Then you can say something like: “Did I understand you correctly that ...” and repeat the squeeze.
Sometimes it helped me to insert into the beautifully and correctly constructed phrase a thread of the mentioned curse word. Often sobering screamers. True, a new “stream of consciousness” can be triggered.
Game: speaks -> your mood worsens -> you will be angry -> you will have to thump / pluck evil at your relatives -> your wife will be upset -> they will be driven out to the street -> the family will fall apart -> you will succumb to -> you will die among the homeless.
At what stage to stop - you decide. I recommend right on the first step.
Fear 3. “He himself is a sucker, he doesn’t understand, but he’s climbing!”
Those. you seem to know better. Well then, let it be true.
Then why prove it? Get out of your skin? I think the real specialist has already proved everything with the results. If you want to prove it, do it! Do not waste time shaking the air. And if you can’t do it ... Maybe it’s time to study? Or be more modest?
If this is not true and the boss knows something better than you (for example, he steers 10-20-30 like you - he knows best how to steer) - so you can listen carefully. Maybe some simple wisdom is intercepted for free.
One friend of mine said that he could not cope with the horde of programmers (creative personalities!). And so, in a burst of inspiration, he came up with: for each week one of the programmers is appointed "chief". His task was to monitor the progress of the project, he had the opportunity to influence its parts, accelerate something, etc.
After everyone was “bosses”, the team became much more efficient and began to understand each other and bosses.
Game: he climbs -> you prove him wrong -> he is offended or starts to argue (you doubted his authority!) -> he begins to take revenge -> they complain about your work -> the atmosphere gets tense -> you get fired with a wolf ticket.
Is that your goal? If not, then draw conclusions.
And in conclusion: often claims to superiors arise from high hopes for their knowledge, power, experience ... This is in the Russian mentality. And these are the same people, with their own, often big problems, less young, tired, pessimistic ... It’s a miracle if the boss is optimistic, active and involves you in your work simply with his passion. But as a rule, one should not hope so much that the CHIEF will give you something. It is necessary to do it yourself and GIVE something to the boss (confidence, support, optimism, professionalism), then they will not be fired, nor will they yell and cry with advice.
Threat I'm lucky for the bosses.
ZZY Describe your fears associated with bosses - we will discuss. Maybe everything is not so scary.
It is often heard, especially from young specialists: “The boss is a tyrant (bore, screamer, silent, bad in a word)!”. After my previous article, which found, to put it mildly, a negative response, it slipped through the discussions about the bosses. I offer a simple game: "What are you afraid of." I hope this can be useful in life and at work.
This game is generally very useful, but especially as applied to the bosses. So, we will analyze simple boss phobias and try to look for methods of struggle / cohabitation with such bosses ... no, rather, phobias.
Go!
Fear 1: "He will fire me!"
Say “stop” to yourself! And honestly answer the question: is there anything to fire? You maliciously do not do the work, do not come to work without inquiries, "lose" important documents? If so, then this is not a phobia, this is the right fear. They must be driven away so that they do not corrupt the people. And if not?
Then why should you be kicked out? Even with staff reductions, the necessary employees remain (I know of cases when they also got a salary!). Why? Because they are needed, they are doing some business processes correctly, quickly, smartly. What business process are you doing well? If there is no answer, think about it.
If there is, then expand and then dismissal is not scary. Good staff like hot cakes and do not disappear!
Well, the "game" with this fear:
Dismiss -> there will be no money -> there will be nothing to buy food for -> children will grow up in garbage dumps -> you will starve to death
So: how long after dismissal you can not starve to death (death is the worst outcome)? I believe that you have time in reserve!
Fear 2. "He will yell at me!"
The same question: is there anything? If there is, then an excellent vaccination before entering the office is already to drive away possible situations in the head, admit your mistake / guilt / inaction. Do not avoid, do not hide, but vice versa. You will be surprised how much easier it will be to listen even to a math-math; (key point) you do not resist!
Compare two options: they rolled you into a tambourine (polished the end face, hit it hard in the face). In the first case, you stoically held the blow, clenching your teeth and spitting them after. After the blow, the head rings, bloodshots - darkness! And the second one: you are relatively relaxed, ready to strike precisely at the tambourine (end face, face) and at the moment of impact you didn’t resist, but deviated after the blow ...
Just like resistance: you firmly “hold the blow” - then you solder yourself in beer in the pub, scolding other authorities modestly silent about his influence on the situation.
If your fault is not. The truth is, then ... look carefully! They just never yell like that. For example, you are a dark gray mouse, which melts at any increase in voice. Timid bosses, having received a thrashing from a superior, can take advantage :) Maybe it's time to stop melting?
A more lively case: you repeatedly make “miscalculations” according to management. And once again, even if now your direct fault is not there, it’s so nice to rip the evil off on you! Because there is always an argument in the bosom: “Well then for the old! So as not to forget the lessons. ”
Summary: Look for meaning even in a good language. By the way, it is not difficult to find him in such a hysterical scream: he is simple, repeated by refrain several times and alternated with “semantic pauses”. No need to interrupt the flow immediately (you are so resisting), let it go out, let it pass by you. Then you can say something like: “Did I understand you correctly that ...” and repeat the squeeze.
Sometimes it helped me to insert into the beautifully and correctly constructed phrase a thread of the mentioned curse word. Often sobering screamers. True, a new “stream of consciousness” can be triggered.
Game: speaks -> your mood worsens -> you will be angry -> you will have to thump / pluck evil at your relatives -> your wife will be upset -> they will be driven out to the street -> the family will fall apart -> you will succumb to -> you will die among the homeless.
At what stage to stop - you decide. I recommend right on the first step.
Fear 3. “He himself is a sucker, he doesn’t understand, but he’s climbing!”
Those. you seem to know better. Well then, let it be true.
Then why prove it? Get out of your skin? I think the real specialist has already proved everything with the results. If you want to prove it, do it! Do not waste time shaking the air. And if you can’t do it ... Maybe it’s time to study? Or be more modest?
If this is not true and the boss knows something better than you (for example, he steers 10-20-30 like you - he knows best how to steer) - so you can listen carefully. Maybe some simple wisdom is intercepted for free.
One friend of mine said that he could not cope with the horde of programmers (creative personalities!). And so, in a burst of inspiration, he came up with: for each week one of the programmers is appointed "chief". His task was to monitor the progress of the project, he had the opportunity to influence its parts, accelerate something, etc.
After everyone was “bosses”, the team became much more efficient and began to understand each other and bosses.
Game: he climbs -> you prove him wrong -> he is offended or starts to argue (you doubted his authority!) -> he begins to take revenge -> they complain about your work -> the atmosphere gets tense -> you get fired with a wolf ticket.
Is that your goal? If not, then draw conclusions.
And in conclusion: often claims to superiors arise from high hopes for their knowledge, power, experience ... This is in the Russian mentality. And these are the same people, with their own, often big problems, less young, tired, pessimistic ... It’s a miracle if the boss is optimistic, active and involves you in your work simply with his passion. But as a rule, one should not hope so much that the CHIEF will give you something. It is necessary to do it yourself and GIVE something to the boss (confidence, support, optimism, professionalism), then they will not be fired, nor will they yell and cry with advice.
Threat I'm lucky for the bosses.
ZZY Describe your fears associated with bosses - we will discuss. Maybe everything is not so scary.