Get rid of stress in a few days in the style of LifeHack

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    Do I need to read this?


    Especially I write about this at the very beginning. If you are not ready to act, if the Plan for you is just a little meaningful list of actions, do not waste your time and read on. Then there will be “a lot of letters” and an author who will not motivate you. I'm serious.
    Actively manage your life? Here is a simple and effective tool that you can always use.

    Introduction


    Every adult knows the feeling of anxiety (stress). Sometimes we realize that within us sits this SOMETHING, but we cannot determine what exactly we are worried about or what is actually the cause of our stress. This state of things bothers us even more. Anxiety is a simple and ingenious system that feeds itself. The effects of internal anxiety or stress can be listed for a very long time. I will focus on the main examples - increased fatigue, difficulties in relationships with relatives, colleagues, lowered self-esteem, depression, periodic attacks of aggression, addiction to addictions, obesity, etc. Although some of the possible consequences look like a diagnosis, they may be based on fairly simple factors,
    Now that we have already strained enough to understand that IT is serious, let's change the subject and talk about our Calmness.


    Definition - Calm


    Quite often, when it comes to calm, we say that in the modern dynamic world it is impossible to achieve it, or "well, it is very difficult." We love to refer to the need to change the environment dramatically, change the country, earn “one hundred thousand millions”, marry successfully, marry equally well, change jobs, lose N kg in front and sides, or buy something big and noticeable from afar to find this is the long-awaited calm. However, reality shows that such "acquisitions" do not bring peace. More often they bring additional difficulties and worries, and if the situation is just that, then it's time to look at it from a different angle.

    Perform Calm


    Even the most complex project, upon closer examination, is just a set of certain sequential or parallel tasks, nothing more. The same can be said about our Calmness.
    Let's imagine “Calm” in the form of a familiar object - a project, and perform the standard actions for any project - we will write down the tasks for its implementation (in our case, achievement). I promise that not only the result will be interesting, but also the process itself.

    You are an egoist. And it is right.


    The only condition for the effective implementation of the Calm project is to be honest and attentive to yourself at the stage of analysis. Try to realize the true goal - You and no one else need peace. Throw away all the bounds of decency, social obligations, turn off conscience - you are the real egoist in this project, and it is CORRECT.

    Personal Information Security


    The first thing to do is password protect the new document. The map (about it later) that you create is the most personal document. To show it in the form in which it will be compiled is not worth it even to the closest people whom you unconditionally trust. She will certainly touch them too, which is almost guaranteed to hurt them or cause misunderstanding. Do not complicate your life - close the document with a password, thereby ensuring YOUR security. In extreme cases, if you need / want to show the card to a loved one, make a special copy that will not contain information regarding this person. This small strategic trick will save a lot of time and effort. Another important point - when you know that your safety is ensured, you will make the map more honestly and openly.

    What is the basis?


    Our Calm project is based on an honest and detailed analysis of our concerns. It is in the plural, because with careful introspection they will be quite a lot. But do not be afraid. The more worries you find in yourself and transfer to the card, the better for the project.

    How to do it?


    Divide and rule!

    This principle for the past 4 centuries remains a simple and logical basis for any major project. Our "Calm" is no exception. Create a skeleton of anxiety in the form of large thematic groups.

    Example:
    1. Work
    2. Finances
    3. Personal relationships
    4. Friends
    5. Family
    6. Health
    7. Life
    8. Restrictions *
    9. Psychology **
    * Restrictions - that constantly creates obstacles for you - lack of knowledge of languages, lack of education, overweight, etc.
    ** Psychology - if you feel any difficulties in this area.
    If you feel that it is better to add some other large thematic groups - do it right away, because this is YOUR project, i.e. YOUR Tranquility.
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    Listen to yourself


    Now we have a long and interesting way to fill our groups. In order to do this as efficiently as possible, you need to focus on one group and fill it up until you catch yourself thinking that "here, perhaps, is everything." After that, move to another group. It’s not necessary for the next one, it’s best to fill in the group that you most want to fill right now. Listen to yourself and let your worries “call” yourself.
    How to fill in the group? Everything is simple - what bothers you in this area.

    The easiest way to give examples:
    1. Work
    1.1. Management does not appreciate my efforts
    1.2. The partner does not pay enough attention to the project
    1.3. Risks associated with ...
    2. Finance
    2.1. Low income
    2.2. Lack of short-term buffer
    2.3. Lack of a long-term buffer
    2.4. The impossibility of lending
    And then for each group. It is important to note that to build YOUR project of Calmness is necessary exactly as you want. If you want to fill out the list taking into account trifles (Kolya, Tolya and Olya - they constantly drag my cookie) - do this. If you decide to fill in only serious and global concerns, go ahead. As a result, most likely, you will get a certain mix of global worries and certain little things that you obviously do not want to put up with. I repeat - do it as convenient for YOU. You are a selfish person. And it is right.

    How long will it take?


    At the analysis stage - forget about the time factor. Only one thing is important for you - to collect all your worries in one place - in your card. Drawing up my own card took me several days, and 2/3 was completed on the first day.

    I seem to have finished my own map


    I am sure that you did a great job with interest, and now in front of you is one of the most important documents for you in the current period of time. If you are attentive to yourself, then most likely you will experience several feelings at once, among which will be: self-satisfaction from the work done and ... the initial stage of Calmness from the fact that now you clearly see what exactly are the sources of your anxiety and stress. Do not forget - this is just a project, and your every concern is just a small part of the overall project. At this stage, do not include the emotional components for each item, there is no real need for this - this is just our list.

    Calm Recipe


    In the world, everything is built on the simplest possible principles, and only we ourselves complicate everything. Let's try not to complicate anything, but just take our every concern and assign him specific and feasible tasks that will save us from him.

    Examples:

    Concern: Management does not value my efforts.
    Solution: Draw management's attention to its part of the work. Ask the manager to evaluate your assignments. To ask for recommendations on how to perform tasks more efficiently (everyone loves to give them out and elevate the person who came to BAT for such recommendations) Find and read literature on this topic.

    Anxiety: Partner does not pay enough attention to the project
    Solution:Frankly discuss with a partner the reasons for such behavior and try to reach a compromise, offer him his help and support, express his vision of solving his difficulties. Do not forget that there is always some good reason for this kind of behavior. You just need to find out and fix it. Be more attentive to the state of the partner.

    Anxiety: Low Income
    Solution: Map the sources of your income, direct and indirect. Think over sources of additional income. Think independently and talk with the management of how you can earn more at this place (often works). Think about a job change.

    Compose tasks for all your worries in the same way, and then simply write them into your task execution system. It can be a notepad with a to-do list, or an electronic system - it doesn’t matter. Just start to perform at least one task daily and very soon you will begin to cross out your worries as you cross off completed tasks.

    Believe me, getting rid of your worries, or rather, achieving your own Calm, brings fantastic pleasure, and fills the world with bright colors and positive emotions.

    View graphic example in large format

    Why does it work?


    In short, our brain is not able to simultaneously process as many tasks as are contained in our Tranquility map. All this is compounded by the difficulty of focusing on individual tasks. Thoughts begin to jump, which ultimately leads to increased stress.

    After we visualized our anxieties and outlined specific actions to achieve Tranquility, it becomes obvious that not everything is as scary as it seemed to us.

    This situation can be compared with feelings in the dark. While we have not visualized the anxieties and set out the tasks for their disposal, we are in a dark unfamiliar room, where we are very anxious and scared. If in this situation we are moving, then the movements are very cautious and constrained (nothing is scary and unclear).

    After our worries have taken on a completely distinct form, and next to them there are already specific tasks that will save us from them - we “find the switch”, turn on the light in our room and suddenly it turns out that this place is familiar and familiar to us. We come to life and begin to move intensively, calmly and confidently.

    That’s the whole simple technique. She really works efficiently. Moreover, some people have enough simple visualization of their worries, without accepting and completing tasks to eliminate them. But we have an active attitude in life, and we feel the need to fulfill the tasks set - is it not? :) In this case, we can get double pleasure - to relieve our lives of stress and serious worries, and enjoy our tasks.

    Version of the methodology for fans of the most cost-effective time


    1. Choose a tool for creating a map
    2. Ensure the confidentiality and security of the document
    3. Create a skeleton of anxieties in the form of large thematic groups (see an example)
    4. Fill each group with anxieties (see an example)
    5. Write down the tasks leading to the elimination of each anxiety (see example)
    6. Plan their execution
    7. Perform at least one scheduled action per day
    8. Mark the tasks in the map and cross out the elimination of anxiety in bold

    Example map in MindManager 8 format.

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