Eight-Bit Jokes
“The joke is a small funny, funny story” (From the explanatory dictionary).
Probably, it would be necessary to warn readers that they say “Children under 40 are not recommended to read.” But I probably will not do this. All decorum and noble.
Harmful production in
1979. Business trip to the NGO Crystal, Kiev. I accidentally look into one of the rooms. Macrophotography of a chip is laid out in a large and bright room on the floor. On the floor, girls crawl with rulers in their hands and measure the size of the elements. One saw me, shamefully covered her knees with a hole in the pantyhose and said, “But the pantyhose do not give us harm for harm, only milk ...
What is a computer?”
In 1980, we managed to demonstrate our personal computer (Micro-80) to the First Deputy Minister of Radio Industry of the USSR Nikolay Vasilyevich Gorshkov (at the end of the 80s he was the chairman of the state committee on computer science and computing). After the demonstration, he put his arm around us and said, “Nonsense is all. Computer can not be personal. Personal can be cottage, car, pension. Do you know what a computer is? This is 100-200 sq.m. premises, 30 service personnel 20 kW of consumption and of course 30 liters of alcohol every month to wipe the contacts! ”And it was absolutely right! That is why the personalities have played a significant role in the sobering up of society ...
You are my Lada, Lada
Agafonov Konstantin Vasilyevich. Director of Lianozovo Electromechanical Plant (LEMZ, Moscow). Year in 1985-86, my colleagues and I arrived at the plant and brought with us a prototype of the Mikrosh computer. In the director's office, they connected to his TV, demonstrated the possibilities, discussed. Here, the chief engineer who was present at the meeting, quietly whispers in Agafonov’s ear - they say they have only 3-4 programs for this computer. Agafonov thought for only a second and suddenly asked the chief engineer: “Does the people buy Lada?”. He replies: "Of course, the line is huge." Agafonov: “And at least one asked for a purchase - Is there gasoline?” So personal computers will be bought. ” In 1987, the first batch of Mikrosh appeared in the store.
Art and big science
In 1984 (or 85?), An exhibition was held in the government building, something like “Young scientists to the national economy”. We showed the personal computer of our development (prototype Radio-86RK). One day I was on duty at the stand. He turned away from the hall and using a samopisny graphic editor drew on the screen, with an amazing resolution of 128x64 pixels, all sorts of nonsense. I drew a certain face ... Something like this:
I hear movement, sniff, shuffling of legs behind my back. I turn around - a whole delegation headed by the president of the USSR Academy of Sciences, Anatoly Petrovich Alexandrov.
He says: “Did you draw me? It looks like. " I, of course, make excuses, they say an accident. Accompanying persons look at me with squinting ... Alexandrov says: "And what is this little thing about you?" I explain that this is a PC. He says: "What can you use at home?" I confirm. The next day, the rector of our institute with Zelenko G.V. brought him home a copy.
Boomerang sometimes returns
In 1981, managed to put on the Micro-80 operating system SR / M. Unknown ways (the Internet was not there) came to us toy Ladder. Stones are falling, but you need to run up the stairs to the finish line (everything is drawn with ASCII characters). Passing all the levels began to make their own. Recently stumbled upon Ladder rewritten in Java. I was very surprised to find my levels (initials SNP) in him, which I kind of did only for my own.
Child cruelty
Once, a long time ago, did the character generator for the Micro-80. In the ASCII code table, the first 32 characters are not displayable - command codes. I used them for small drawings - for example, an airplane. 2 young people came to work with us, while students were still, (Yura Ozerov and Dima Gorshkov). They tortured me for a long time, what kind of character in 1 picture? He confessed - my initials - "Cn." Immediately, Dima and Yura wrote a program in which small planes mercilessly bombed poor “Sp”.
Microprocessors and life
The bell rings in the apartment. I open the door. Immediately in the doorway, an impressive suitcase looks through. Behind the suitcase is its owner, an intelligent-looking man. I look at him in bewilderment and wait for clarification. The first phrase - "I divorced my wife." His words, a suitcase, made me mentally continue - “I will live with you!”. But then followed the explanation, which put everything in its place. He explained that the wife does not allow him to see the child unless he provides the child with a computer.
The man, in my opinion, accomplished the feat. Being a man far from these questions, a biologist by education, read the description of PK86, got the accessories, soldered. It all worked! But problems with recording and reading from a tape recorder.
And now a suitcase opens - there is a RK, a tape recorder, a compact TV. We settled down with me. RK is working, the tape recorder is brand-new, it reproduces everything, even to Pugachev ... Having made sure that everything is in order with RK, I offered him to disassemble this “Electronics”, honestly warning that he would lose the guarantee.
Disassembled. At least one posting for solitude was soldered to the line-out connector inside the tape recorder. Soldered, order. For the first time, it helped. She, the ex-wife, thought that she had set a completely impossible task for him - it was not there! Then he called me, said that the "old woman" now demands something completely insane ...
Probably, it would be necessary to warn readers that they say “Children under 40 are not recommended to read.” But I probably will not do this. All decorum and noble.
Harmful production in
1979. Business trip to the NGO Crystal, Kiev. I accidentally look into one of the rooms. Macrophotography of a chip is laid out in a large and bright room on the floor. On the floor, girls crawl with rulers in their hands and measure the size of the elements. One saw me, shamefully covered her knees with a hole in the pantyhose and said, “But the pantyhose do not give us harm for harm, only milk ...
What is a computer?”
In 1980, we managed to demonstrate our personal computer (Micro-80) to the First Deputy Minister of Radio Industry of the USSR Nikolay Vasilyevich Gorshkov (at the end of the 80s he was the chairman of the state committee on computer science and computing). After the demonstration, he put his arm around us and said, “Nonsense is all. Computer can not be personal. Personal can be cottage, car, pension. Do you know what a computer is? This is 100-200 sq.m. premises, 30 service personnel 20 kW of consumption and of course 30 liters of alcohol every month to wipe the contacts! ”And it was absolutely right! That is why the personalities have played a significant role in the sobering up of society ...
You are my Lada, Lada
Agafonov Konstantin Vasilyevich. Director of Lianozovo Electromechanical Plant (LEMZ, Moscow). Year in 1985-86, my colleagues and I arrived at the plant and brought with us a prototype of the Mikrosh computer. In the director's office, they connected to his TV, demonstrated the possibilities, discussed. Here, the chief engineer who was present at the meeting, quietly whispers in Agafonov’s ear - they say they have only 3-4 programs for this computer. Agafonov thought for only a second and suddenly asked the chief engineer: “Does the people buy Lada?”. He replies: "Of course, the line is huge." Agafonov: “And at least one asked for a purchase - Is there gasoline?” So personal computers will be bought. ” In 1987, the first batch of Mikrosh appeared in the store.
Art and big science
In 1984 (or 85?), An exhibition was held in the government building, something like “Young scientists to the national economy”. We showed the personal computer of our development (prototype Radio-86RK). One day I was on duty at the stand. He turned away from the hall and using a samopisny graphic editor drew on the screen, with an amazing resolution of 128x64 pixels, all sorts of nonsense. I drew a certain face ... Something like this:
I hear movement, sniff, shuffling of legs behind my back. I turn around - a whole delegation headed by the president of the USSR Academy of Sciences, Anatoly Petrovich Alexandrov.
He says: “Did you draw me? It looks like. " I, of course, make excuses, they say an accident. Accompanying persons look at me with squinting ... Alexandrov says: "And what is this little thing about you?" I explain that this is a PC. He says: "What can you use at home?" I confirm. The next day, the rector of our institute with Zelenko G.V. brought him home a copy.
Boomerang sometimes returns
In 1981, managed to put on the Micro-80 operating system SR / M. Unknown ways (the Internet was not there) came to us toy Ladder. Stones are falling, but you need to run up the stairs to the finish line (everything is drawn with ASCII characters). Passing all the levels began to make their own. Recently stumbled upon Ladder rewritten in Java. I was very surprised to find my levels (initials SNP) in him, which I kind of did only for my own.
Child cruelty
Once, a long time ago, did the character generator for the Micro-80. In the ASCII code table, the first 32 characters are not displayable - command codes. I used them for small drawings - for example, an airplane. 2 young people came to work with us, while students were still, (Yura Ozerov and Dima Gorshkov). They tortured me for a long time, what kind of character in 1 picture? He confessed - my initials - "Cn." Immediately, Dima and Yura wrote a program in which small planes mercilessly bombed poor “Sp”.
Microprocessors and life
The bell rings in the apartment. I open the door. Immediately in the doorway, an impressive suitcase looks through. Behind the suitcase is its owner, an intelligent-looking man. I look at him in bewilderment and wait for clarification. The first phrase - "I divorced my wife." His words, a suitcase, made me mentally continue - “I will live with you!”. But then followed the explanation, which put everything in its place. He explained that the wife does not allow him to see the child unless he provides the child with a computer.
The man, in my opinion, accomplished the feat. Being a man far from these questions, a biologist by education, read the description of PK86, got the accessories, soldered. It all worked! But problems with recording and reading from a tape recorder.
And now a suitcase opens - there is a RK, a tape recorder, a compact TV. We settled down with me. RK is working, the tape recorder is brand-new, it reproduces everything, even to Pugachev ... Having made sure that everything is in order with RK, I offered him to disassemble this “Electronics”, honestly warning that he would lose the guarantee.
Disassembled. At least one posting for solitude was soldered to the line-out connector inside the tape recorder. Soldered, order. For the first time, it helped. She, the ex-wife, thought that she had set a completely impossible task for him - it was not there! Then he called me, said that the "old woman" now demands something completely insane ...