21st Century Gentleman's Set: How to Stand Up for Yourself

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Hello Giktayms! We live in a very interesting, but at the same time very turbulent time - dangers can lie in wait on every corner, and even those who do not attract attention to themselves. Walking all the time with a traumatic pistol, ax or baseball bat? Perhaps this will somehow help in overcoming some dark alleys or even entire unfavorable areas, but at the same time it can cause a number of questions for all kinds of cops. Do you need it? In today's selection we’ll talk about a selfie stick, Nokia 3310 and other arsenal, which does not attract too much attention, but at the same time helps in a difficult situation.



If you understand that comrades in branded tracksuits and with sunflower seeds in a bag are clearly interested in your well-being, and a quick step does not help anymore, it’s worth starting from afar.

Best defense is attack


Many self-defense articles say that the best fight is the one that did not exist. Well, and that the best means of self-defense is running. That's right, but what if there is no way to escape? Yes, and it’s boring to run away somehow, especially on the condition that we live in an age of technological breakthrough. Therefore, we will build on the thesis that the best defense is an attack.

1. Portable speakers


Both portable models and semi-stationary are equally good. These devices can be used as a noise grenade - from the same counter-strike we know how effective the “toast” is. Turn on the phone, turn on the speaker, set up the Bluetooth connection, turn on the maximum volume and shameful music - throw it at the enemy and you're done. Yes, it may have to be trained to meet the TRP standards, but it's worth it.

In real life, they are no less spectacular than in the same counter-strike. A huge number of compact and portable solutions are sold in our store, which differ in some characteristics: radius of damage, dimensions, control. The main thing is not to throw the gun too far (beyond the range of the Bluetooth interface).



There are also more massive solutions that are suitable if there are several attackers. For instance:



This thing is
not so easy to carry with you (but you can roll it on wheels), but it produces a completely different effect. Only 6990 and you are the king of the street party. Or, a simpler option , for 3790:



What to choose is, as they say, a matter of taste. Indeed, in this matter, the principle of action is primarily important - to stun the enemy, stun him, confuse or evoke emotions that will interrupt his original plans. For the most efficient use of these devices, we recommend storing a number of music files (or even playlists) on your phone:

- Sounds of a police siren and loud screams with calls for help - in case you want to attract the attention of others as much as possible;
- A few hits of the radio "Chanson" in case you do not lose hope of resolving the issue peacefully;
- Any album by Philip Kirkorov, the Beasts group, Bulgarian handsome Azis or the singles “Santa Lucia” and “Dance of the Elbows” - in case you want to deal with potential offenders as cruelly as possible.

2. Flash


On our site there is a large selection of all kinds of flash units for different models of cameras. In addition to the price, they differ in technical characteristics, but the general aspects of the work are more or less the same.

Principle of action: a powerful stream of photons enters the eyes of the enemy, blinding him for a while (depending on the flash power and time of day). Time can be used to attack the enemy or retire from the scene of the conflict.

The flash can be used as a ranged weapon, the use of diffusers and various reflectors enhances the effect of the flash, increasing the time for counter-actions, as well as providing a more natural complexion in the photographs of the enemy. In addition, many models can work autonomously, that is, without a camera.



Well, if you suddenly decided to give the dog (well, there were much more opponents than you), then you can climb a tree and give SOS light signals. Or stupidly to shine in someone's window - the tenant will get it, and he will call the police, and this will drive the hooligans from your tree.

If long-range weapons do not help or did not work on all attackers, you can always meet in close combat. One of the following devices will help you cope with adversaries in it:

The wire


Surely in your pocket or backpack each of you has a cable to charge your smartphone. In principle, it also works, but it’s better to use some more reliable wire - you can swing it like a cowboy, or use it as a whip. The presence at hand of a long HDMI cable (5m is enough) or even a patch cord bay, will allow you to attach a blinded and stunned opponent to a pole or fencing (good in Moscow in bulk).

If the attacker is only one, and you are confident in your abilities, then trying to successfully fight back will help the usual ... well, as usual ... high-quality audio cable. The thick braid and the stranded wire of oxygen-free copper will not break, even if you really try.



True, to use this cable with the phone, you have to spend money on adapters.

Selfie stick


Comments are superfluous - a hit of the season. We recommend choosing a model with a button for remote control. They say that a number of special units want to take selfie sticks, and this already says a lot!

It is lightweight, it is compact, it can easily be folded to a comfortable length and has a pleasant weight on the working end (admit you already wanted to try it). The kit includes a convenient eyelet that can be attached to your bending stick so that it is always on your leash.

Shockproof Smartphone


If medium and near range weapons did not help you, you can use a powerful argument of direct influence itself.



The protected smartphone is not afraid of water, and blows. He will make your punch more powerful and more technical, and his screen will remain intact. In extreme cases, it can be accurately launched to the offender in the head. Given its impressive weight (260 grams) and decent acceleration, a collision between a smartphone and a skull will definitely put an attacker out of action. The built-in 8 megapixel camera will also help with friends to share another victory over the bully (“Watch how I spent Saturday”), and provide the police with the necessary evidence in case of anything. Before choosing a model, be sure to pay attention to the available accessories - perhaps caring manufacturers have already released a brass knuckles case or something similar.

Monopod


An extended version of the selfie stick - more options, but also costs more. The main difference is a more robust design, more weight and the ability to fix not only mobile devices, but also cameras. It can be used as a telescopic baton, or as a bayonet stick.



Unfortunately, unfolding this thing has to spend a couple of seconds of precious time more, but it is stronger and can cause good damage in PvP.

Tripod


We strongly do not recommend fending off with plastic tripods : they cannot endure such blows of fate.



No, in an emergency, of course, they can save your life, but only at the cost of their own. Use the plastic tripods for the intended purpose!



But such specimens , made of metal, with a convenient quick-folding mechanism, reliable clamps and a weighty tripod “head” will not only serve perfectly on the defensive, but shooting will be made simple and enjoyable.

Small tripods are more suitable for close combat, while a tripod with long legs can be waved like a club so as not to let the enemy get closer than two meters.

Classic


There are things that do not go out of fashion. These include old Porsche and Ferrari, Parker pens, Swiss watches and ... Nokia 3310. Legends are made about this device. They say that Chuck Norris himself tried to break it, but as a result he ended up in a hospital bed with multiple fractures of his bones. Cunning Chinese still produce fakes of this device, but even a fake is capable of breaking tiles in the entrance or sink when dropped - treat the device with caution. And then suddenly drop your foot.



And the use of the Nokia 3310 phone along with a selfie stick completely turns it into a hammer of Thor.

Alternative methods


If you work in a successful startup, then it is quite possible that you already had a chance to receive a solid reward. The same “Runet Prize” is made either from copper or from brass - it doesn’t matter, it’s important that it looks intimidating and you can chop nuts (including coconuts). On the office desk, this reward will be much less useful than if you carry it with you. Well, what kind of policeman at 4 in the morning will pester a man who returns home with a prestigious award, and not a baseball bat? :)

By the way, this thing will come in handy in the event that you somehow wake up in the morning and decide to radically change the floor work. There is no start-up capital, but is there a scrap collection point in the city? You know what to do. Get money out of them.

The pneumatic dude works perfectly, which makes noise at the stadiums, but the application requires some skill and dexterity: the enemy should be approached closer, and "beeping" is better right in the ear. If necessary, repeat the procedure (the opponent has two ears, usually, unless he has met with readers of our instructions earlier).

General tips


It’s hard to learn, easy in battle.
In the fight for your own health and a freshly received premium, all means are good, but without a competent tactics and strategy, some skills and general knowledge, even having a pistol will become more dangerous for you, and not for the enemy.

To correctly use all sorts of makeshift clubs, you should familiarize yourself with the right strike. You can learn from this guy:



Knowledge is power.
Don't forget the tactical advantage. Google Now voice assistants (and soon Russian-speaking Siri and Cortana will catch up) will always come to your aid with valuable advice, as well as help you find the nearest police station or a bank working around the clock - just ask. It’s easier to keep the defense in the lobby of this place, especially if you lock the door from the inside. And there you can continue a nice conversation with a voice assistant in the languid expectation of reinforcements.

It is also worth considering that aggressive-minded outcasts have a formidable look and physical fitness, so if you run in the mornings, go to the gym and lead a healthy lifestyle - a couple of circles in the area (the main thing is not to stumble on a dead end, so choose wide streets and open places) and the pursuit will lag behind. Well, fitness bracelets and smart watches will help to monitor your health during morning walks . By the way, these same devices will help and are guaranteed to break away from the chase. You’re running so nervous for yourself from the crowd of enemies, tearing off your smart watch from your wrist and throwing it back with a cry “Yo, these are samsungs in 17 pieces!” Then you can significantly slow down the run, or even just get up and watch how the opponents mutuzi each other for the right to own the device.

Do you know what else you can protect yourself without causing questions from the police and others? Built your exoskeleton from crutches and office gum? Share this in the comments.

Take care of yourself, stay in touch with gadgets. And your back is white.

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" Two months with the LG G Watch R
" The evolution of Razer mice using the example of DeathAdder and Naga
"We study Philips TV flagship: Part 1 | Part 2

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