Controversial issue: Is it worth making friends with a leader

Many of us have at least once thought that working with a friend is easier and better, because he understands everything at a glance and will never let you down. But aren't close relationships hindering effective performance of duties?

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We asked Dmitry Karyagin , HR Director of Kokoc.com, Victoria Shafran , Sales Director of ArrowMedia and Denis Korovkin , WebProfy Production Technologist, to answer this question.

Working family

According to Dmitry Karyagin, HR Director at Kokoc.com, friendship between employees and subordinates is necessary and useful. On the one hand, it has a positive impact on the work and motivates to do it as efficiently as possible. In the same situation, an ordinary employee will perform the task exactly as much as the job description and the regulations oblige. A friend employee will often do a little more with enthusiasm, because, among other things, he helps a friend. Close relationships are an additional incentive, because no one wants to let a friend down.

On the other hand, work can have a positive effect on friendship. For example, after a quarrel in ordinary life, people, as a rule, do not communicate for a long time or diverge forever, and after years they regret it. If they work in the same team, in any case they will have to communicate on working issues, and this often helps to overcome the resentment and restore good relations.

Another plus of friendship between managers and subordinates: a comfortable atmosphere. In some companies, people are looking forward to Friday to leave their annoying colleagues and meet friends. And if the head / subordinate is your comrade, this is not necessary, you can always have lunch together, talk over a cup of coffee.

No matter how trite it may sound, our company is one friendly family: we work together, relax together, go to bars, go on vacation, and go in for sports. For example, the managing partner is friends with an ordinary developer, they play on the same football team for several years. At the same time, the employee is not given relief at work, and he does not feel privileged.

But sometimes friendship with the leader imposes additional obligations on the subordinate: often, as in ordinary life, higher demands are placed on the work of a loved one. For example, a boss gives a friend employee less rights to make a mistake, because he knows for sure that he is capable of completing this task.

In order to create and maintain a balance between working and personal relationships, the manager needs to determine the management style from day one. For example, many of us prefer the role of a senior mentor, an older friend. On the one hand, a person treats a subordinate well, is always ready to help him and suggest from a position of a more experienced and knowledgeable specialist. But on the other hand, it is due to experience and knowledge that he is higher in office, which means that the tasks that he poses must be completed.

At the same time, the leader should not try to become “his” among his subordinates from the first day, for example, inviting them to drink, giving relief in work. In this way, you can only gain "cheap authority", which will disappear as soon as the leader requires the execution of tasks. As in life, close relationships in the office develop gradually.

Edge of Reason

Based on the experience of Victoria Saffron, ArrowMedia's Sales Director, in most cases it’s hard for people to share work and friendship. For example, an employee whom a friend invited to work often expects a privileged relationship, and the boss requires a friend to quickly get into the course of affairs and more return than other subordinates. As a result, the expectations of both are not met, the joint work does not work out, which, as a rule, negatively affects friendship.

If you decide to take a loved one as a subordinate, I recommend immediately discussing that in the office the relationship is purely business, and outside it is friendly.

However, as a rule, this line is erased over time. For example, despite initial agreements, between friends (supervisor and subordinate) personal or working disagreements will inevitably arise, which may result in a quarrel and resentment. In such cases, you need to calmly discuss the problem, but not everyone is ready to forget about emotions and talk frankly. As a result, disagreements remain and are aggravated, which sooner or later leads to separation. Having broken off some relationships, it is difficult to keep others, so most often this leads to the fact that the girls stop working together and make friends.

I try to avoid such situations, so I never invite friends to work, but I communicate closely with colleagues from other departments. Of course, there are subordinates with whom more than one year and relations from formal have long passed into friendships, but at the same time we understand that, above all, work. However, if any disaster strikes, I will always come to the rescue.

As practice shows, maintaining personal relationships at work is possible in two cases:
  • Friends work in different departments where teamwork is important and some of the tasks can be performed better by being familiar.
  • Friends work in competing teams, where the work is based on indicators: "higher, faster, stronger."


Trust and creativity The

pros and cons of friendship between leaders depend on the situation, says Denis Korovkin, production technologist at WebProfy. On the one hand, it is quite difficult to transfer personal relationships into workers and not everyone can take seriously a new leader, with whom he was a good friend for several years, he talked heart to heart. In a situation where a friend sets tasks, demands their implementation and gives out a salary, there is a risk of not working out and friendship will be in jeopardy.

On the other hand, professional relations with managers often flow into friendships. Of course, this does not happen immediately and is not a prerequisite for good results in the work - it is necessary to perform KPI in any case. However, experience shows that when an employee is closely acquainted with the boss, he himself wants to do a little more than the job description requires. For example, in an exclusively business relationship, I perceive the manager’s offer to work on the weekend negatively and can refuse if this time is not paid overtime. If the request comes from a boss friend who honestly admits that it is important for our department, then naturally I will agree.

At the same time, in friendship between the leader and subordinate, trust and mutual assistance should be present. If the employee was entrusted with the project, he will try to do it “five plus” so as not to let a loved one down. At the same time, she will not count on concessions, otherwise it will affect the quality of work and relations with colleagues who are not given relief. In any case, both the employee and the manager should, if necessary, separate personal and working relations, so as not to spoil either one or the other, and the rest of the colleagues did not feel very comfortable.

If you manage to maintain balance, then friendship greatly helps in the work. Most often, because in a relaxed, friendly atmosphere, people feel calmer and “charge” each other with creativity. And in a deliberately business atmosphere, many employees are embarrassed to offer ideas, fearing rejection.

At the same time, friendship helps to solve problems arising at work in time. Suppose a subordinate has become insufficiently attentive to duties due to family problems. In this case, most of the bosses will not understand the reasons, but prefer to leave. However, a friend will ask what is the matter, help with advice from his personal life and tell you how to get back to work.

In the end, he comes to the office pleasantly in the mornings, if you know that friends are waiting for you there, time flies unnoticed and there is no desire to quickly get away from work.

Source: New Retail .

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