Bad advice on communication with technical support
Hi, Habr, in connection technical support Veeam.
Recently, we had the idea to share with the community our thoughts on how to properly contact (and communicate) the technical support service. But prosaic instructions will not be interesting to anyone - a different format is needed! And we decided to write our own “bad advice” following the example of those that in the 90s of the last century caused stormy delight in many.
In our work, we could not but mix up the irony on a healthy share of provocation (for it was painful). We guarantee the absence of extremism, attempts to insult the feelings of believers and direct incitement to violence (even in case we had to activate our legal service, and then the times are hectic).
In order to smooth out possible roughness, we, in the best traditions of technical support services, added “accompanying tips” added accompanying comments, with tips that were at least harmless. For clarity and consolidation instructive impact.
***
If something breaks,
Doesn’t work at all,
Repair it yourself
Do not try ever.
No matter how much you want
to
Understand yourself Understanding what is happening -
You are not up to now.
Postpone manuals,
Usergues and how-to.
It is necessary immediately to
get angry first and grumble.
***
Inflate strongly cheeks,
Beat a fist about a table,
Scream at the pet,
It is possible to kick still with a foot.
If there is no cat at home, there is
no dog and ferret,
you will be off home,
It will add strength to you.
If you are sitting in the office,
you forget about Bonton,
Scream at your colleague,
He is to blame for everything.
***
Angry properly,
So that the blood is knocking in the temples,
Dial the number boldly
Technical support you own.
You will not be answered there immediately,
They do not want to help you,
Measure the expectation
You are in seconds by the hour.
And when they answer, right away,
Without interference and delay,
Scream at the victim.
Defend, attack.
***
Just know, do not forget,
Before your enemy is your blooded,
Though you do not wish death,
But certainly not good.
This devil will be evil
In the soul to climb and puff brains.
Find out the devil wants
your secret secrets.
You do not say much,
Be mean to words,
Let the techie himself understand,
What is broken and why.
Or better hurry To
tell that the sun has risen, To
tell that the forest is awake, To
tell that from everywhere.
***
To make more sense
From the work of technical support,
you have a carbon copy application.
It is better to make seven at once.
And when asked for logs
To solve the problem,
They hid them well
And forget where they lie.
Protocols and journals
Only the stupid people look,
And skilled craftsmen
will help you without them.
***
If you are in response to a request
Write a long letter,
Read only the topic,
Everything further is not for you.
And they will ask you to do something, To
gather, learn, test,
Ignoring the lazy people,
Do the opposite.
***
On solving a problem,
Respond coolly,
you are deceived again,
Not solutions at all.
Attempts to evidence.
Put directly in doubt.
The mind here with the case is not neighbors,
Say: "I do not believe."
If you are given the choice of
Options is not one,
Definitely and in the case.
Say boldly "yes."
***
If in personal correspondence
you do not see the lumen,
Insert the word “RGENTREDITIONALASÁP” urgently with the
caps.
To make it more fun
With the engineers to fight,
Share this burden,
Copy your bosses.
***
If you are fighting with support,
But the problem did not dare,
They are simply troglodytes,
they want to get rid of you from the world.
No matter how hard it is for you,
do not stop the war,
but this is not a matter of deciding,
And in the victory over the enemy.
Recently, we had the idea to share with the community our thoughts on how to properly contact (and communicate) the technical support service. But prosaic instructions will not be interesting to anyone - a different format is needed! And we decided to write our own “bad advice” following the example of those that in the 90s of the last century caused stormy delight in many.
In our work, we could not but mix up the irony on a healthy share of provocation (for it was painful). We guarantee the absence of extremism, attempts to insult the feelings of believers and direct incitement to violence (even in case we had to activate our legal service, and then the times are hectic).
In order to smooth out possible roughness, we, in the best traditions of technical support services, added “accompanying tips” added accompanying comments, with tips that were at least harmless. For clarity and consolidation instructive impact.
***
If something breaks,
Doesn’t work at all,
Repair it yourself
Do not try ever.
No matter how much you want
to
Understand yourself Understanding what is happening -
You are not up to now.
Postpone manuals,
Usergues and how-to.
It is necessary immediately to
get angry first and grumble.
Prose comment
Understanding what, at what point in time and after what happened, will help you and technical support to better decide in which direction to work. Details and facts will help.
***
Inflate strongly cheeks,
Beat a fist about a table,
Scream at the pet,
It is possible to kick still with a foot.
If there is no cat at home, there is
no dog and ferret,
you will be off home,
It will add strength to you.
If you are sitting in the office,
you forget about Bonton,
Scream at your colleague,
He is to blame for everything.
Prose comment
Если вы расстроены, встревожены или рассержены, лучше всего сразу это признать, выговориться про себя или вслух. Иногда помогает подождать несколько минут, прежде чем действовать. Успокоившись, начинайте выстраивать план действий. От вопроса «что я чувствую» переходите к «что мне делать». Это задействует рациональную часть вашего «я».
***
Angry properly,
So that the blood is knocking in the temples,
Dial the number boldly
Technical support you own.
You will not be answered there immediately,
They do not want to help you,
Measure the expectation
You are in seconds by the hour.
And when they answer, right away,
Without interference and delay,
Scream at the victim.
Defend, attack.
Prose comment
Подумайте, хотите ли вы именно позвонить, ведь в хорошей команде поддержки, как правило, будет несколько способов открыть заявку. Если проблема не требует вмешательства сию секунду, а рассказать хочется много, в письменном виде сформулировать свой запрос иногда получится лучше.
***
Just know, do not forget,
Before your enemy is your blooded,
Though you do not wish death,
But certainly not good.
This devil will be evil
In the soul to climb and puff brains.
Find out the devil wants
your secret secrets.
You do not say much,
Be mean to words,
Let the techie himself understand,
What is broken and why.
Or better hurry To
tell that the sun has risen, To
tell that the forest is awake, To
tell that from everywhere.
Prose comment
В хорошей команде поддержки внимание уделяется не только технической подкованности сотрудников, но и навыкам слушания, эмоциональному интеллекту и эмпатии. Сотрудник не будет равнодушен, а вопросы, которые вам зададут, будут по делу и направлены на изолирование проблемы.
И да, сказать много и не сказать ничего – два одинаково вредных совета.
И да, сказать много и не сказать ничего – два одинаково вредных совета.
***
To make more sense
From the work of technical support,
you have a carbon copy application.
It is better to make seven at once.
And when asked for logs
To solve the problem,
They hid them well
And forget where they lie.
Protocols and journals
Only the stupid people look,
And skilled craftsmen
will help you without them.
Prose comment
Любое более-менее сложное приложение пишет свои логи, которые как раз и созданы для того, чтобы в случае проблем можно было разобраться в происходящем.
От количества заявок и числа инженеров техподдержки, к которым поступят все эти заявки, шансы повысить приоритет и решить проблему увеличатся не сильно. Для этого, как правило, есть более эффективные методы: в хорошей службе поддержки будет возможность изменить приоритет, запросить звонок и даже пожаловаться руководству команды.
От количества заявок и числа инженеров техподдержки, к которым поступят все эти заявки, шансы повысить приоритет и решить проблему увеличатся не сильно. Для этого, как правило, есть более эффективные методы: в хорошей службе поддержки будет возможность изменить приоритет, запросить звонок и даже пожаловаться руководству команды.
***
If you are in response to a request
Write a long letter,
Read only the topic,
Everything further is not for you.
And they will ask you to do something, To
gather, learn, test,
Ignoring the lazy people,
Do the opposite.
Prose comment
Бывает, без вашей помощи сотруднику поддержки не справиться. Бывает, что-то может (и иногда должен) предпринять сам пользователь.
И да, в хорошей технической поддержке вряд ли будут сознательно задавать лишние вопросы или пичкать ненужной информацией. Конечно, может быть, что вам пишут длинные письма от неумения писать кратко, но лучше всё же прочитать до конца. А к ответам на вопросы лучше подходить сознательно.
И да, в хорошей технической поддержке вряд ли будут сознательно задавать лишние вопросы или пичкать ненужной информацией. Конечно, может быть, что вам пишут длинные письма от неумения писать кратко, но лучше всё же прочитать до конца. А к ответам на вопросы лучше подходить сознательно.
***
On solving a problem,
Respond coolly,
you are deceived again,
Not solutions at all.
Attempts to evidence.
Put directly in doubt.
The mind here with the case is not neighbors,
Say: "I do not believe."
If you are given the choice of
Options is not one,
Definitely and in the case.
Say boldly "yes."
Prose comment
Ребята из поддержки Veeam помимо самих продуктов должны знать и в разной степени уметь «жонглировать» десятком разных технологий (VMware, Hyper-V, networking, Windows / Linux OS, базы данных, Exchange, AD, tape- и cloud-решения и т.д.). Если проблема выходит за пределы наших продуктов, мы стараемся изолировать ее в рамках технологии, системы или уровня и подсказать, что делать дальше. А в ряде случаев помогаем при общении с другим вендором.
***
If in personal correspondence
you do not see the lumen,
Insert the word “RGENTREDITIONALASÁP” urgently with the
caps.
To make it more fun
With the engineers to fight,
Share this burden,
Copy your bosses.
Prose comment
Акронимы вроде ASAP используются настолько часто, что утратили свою первоначальную магию. Куда более эффективный метод – объяснить, почему проблема важна для вас или вашего бизнеса. Для хорошей службы поддержки этого будет достаточно, чтобы у вашей заявки вырос приоритет.
***
If you are fighting with support,
But the problem did not dare,
They are simply troglodytes,
they want to get rid of you from the world.
No matter how hard it is for you,
do not stop the war,
but this is not a matter of deciding,
And in the victory over the enemy.
Final spoiler