Translation of the book "Managing Humans"

Hello! We began to translate the book Managing Humans: Biting and Humorous Tales of a Software Engineering Manager . Today, the translator sent an unedited text, a fragment from the first chapter, and asked a question (like the author of the book): Can I use the word “asshole” in the text? But you can’t throw a word out of the song, with all the wealth of choice, you haven’t come up with another synonym :-)

Chapter 1 Do not be an asshole! Be human

The beauty of writing texts for the world wide web is that you have absolutely no plan. I really can afford to spend too much time in my head every topic. For years, my texts were devoted to software development management, and with the publication of each article I received more and more e-mails asking: “When will the book?” Yes, I really always wanted to publish a book, but there is one problem. Which one? Write about how to become a good leader? Boredom! I needed a convincing and true story that will elegantly tie together all my memories.

Retrospective: the middle or the end of the 90s, dot-com boom. We, the joyful team of a failed startup, we drink ... We drink a lot. There are many bars around our head office, and each has its own purpose. There is an eatery ideal for celebrating a layoff. Drinking is cheap here, and if you want to get rid of the feeling “I am a complete nothing”, you can look for a fight with a depressed venture investor, who also always hangs out at this bar, or with the guy who just fired you.

A little further down the street is the English pub. Beer is better here, there is an excellent whiskey card and quite edible cuisine. It is here that we are philosophizing about fictitious employment in which we have been stuck for the last 3 years, gradually becoming unnecessary.

Today we are here again. We drink a lot, because our company has just been sold to some unknown joint-stock company, which, without informing us, is going to quickly disassemble what we created with sweat and blood. Each of us knew that one day this would happen, but none of us expected to remain one of the last. And yet none of us expected to see our CEO here.

The company was created not by the CEO, but by another person who left more than a year ago. Later, the guy from the board of directors was simply appointed general manager to sell the startup. Of course, he tried to change the plan, but you remember that it was the height of the financial nuclear winter. Money has already ceased to be a freebie.

Those who saw the summary of our CEO before he announced it, understood that the project was over. He left his last four jobs, skillfully sending the company into oblivion. This was called "maximize shareholder value."

So, we in a pub, we pump up tequila. We are the last four guys from the development department, two from technical support ... and the general director. Despite the fact that our brains are woozy with drinks, we feel terribly embarrassed in his presence, because we have always considered him to be an insensitive asshole.

Like this!

This is the most important and truthful in my book on management. And this is a great headline:

Don't be an asshole!

Yes, the word “asshole” most likely will seem to my editors to be extremely unfortunate for the title, so let's take it as the working title.