Corporate reality

Lena picked up her bag from the floor, opened it wider, looked around the contents and sighed heavily. Reflected for a few seconds, as a result, fermented an unhappy grimace and began to lay out the contents on the table.

Lipstick, several multi-colored sweets, a KFC wet towel, regular paper napkins with the logo of a restaurant, a hairbrush, bubble gum packaging, another hairbrush, Amber's Passion: It's Not Enough One, a lighter, foundation, and a few , wrinkled stickers, maps of boutiques and chain supermarkets, a large notebook with many colorful bookmarks, and so on. Sergei, who at first got bored, showed more and more interest in the contents of Lena's bag. How many years have you lived in the world, do not stop wondering at this process.

- Hurrah! - exclaimed, finally, Lena. “I thought I forgot at home!”

She removed a small plastic bag from the bag with a bunch of pieces of paper inside. Sergei managed to notice that there were still two times more artifacts in the bag than Lena managed to lay out on the table.

- Here they are, questions. - smiling, Lena unfolded the bag and took out pieces of paper. - So, where is she ...

- Who?

- Yes, so ...

Lena looked through one piece of paper after another, but still could not find what she was looking for. Papers began to repeat, because Lena put the ones she looked back into the bag. Finally, she realized that the algorithm was unsuitable, dumped the notes on the table and began to browse one at a time and put the unfit into a packet. After a couple of minutes, the search was completed successfully.

- Found it! - exclaimed triumphantly Lena. - The first question: what books do you recommend reading to those who want to deal with change?

- Let me guess. Question from Yevgeny Viktorovich?

“Well, yes, he didn’t hide it, he even signed up.”

- Okay ... My answer is: do not listen to anyone, including my recommendations.

- Why? Oh wait! - Lena caught herself and picked up the smartphone from the table. - I forgot to turn on the recorder!

She tinkered a bit with the smartphone and continued.

- So, the question is: Sergey, what books do you recommend reading to those who want to deal with change?

- My answer: do not listen to anyone's recommendations, including mine. - repeated Sergey.

- Okay ... Let me rephrase, I hope Evgeny Viktorovich will not be offended. Which books have helped you the most in your work, career, and so on?

- Dunno and his friends. - not at all embarrassed, Sergey answered.

- Damn, Sergey ... What are you doing clowning again.

- I'm serious. When was the last time you read Dunno?

- I don’t remember ... In childhood, I guess.

- And I last month. Amazingly wise book. Remember, there was, for example, such a writer ... What was his name ... He lived in Zmeevka ... Ah, Smekaylo.

- I don’t remember that ...

- Well, yes, this is not the main character. But he is damn indicative. He was called a writer, although he did not write a single book in his life, even a tiny one. Do you know why?

- Why?

“Because he was missing something all the time.” Either the table, then the chair, then some tricky device. And he put off everything, and put off, did not write, but only called himself a writer. He was friends with Shurupchik - this is a local mechanic.

- I remember the mechanics ... Even two - Vintik and Shpuntik.

- Yes, these were also. And also Shurupchik, he lived in Zmeevka, and made all kinds of devices for Smekayle, including a bumotograph.

- What is this?

- This is a prototype of Google’s aggressive advertising policy and the like. A tinker who overheard conversations. Quickly, he left it near the houses of other residents, turned it on, he wrote everything down, and the writer then listened.

- What for?

- In order to find the plot in their life - he himself could not come up with. Well, he thought he couldn’t. And the residents lit up about his bumotograf, and began to fool around - howl, moo, cluck and so on. As a result, he could not find out anything worthwhile. I wish Google could also be overwhelmed with its analysis of preferences ...

- So, okay ... Why did you tell me this?

“You asked which books help me.” I answered - Dunno.

- Well, what did Dunno help you with? - with a sigh asked Lena.

- How with what? - surprised Sergey. - And you yourself do not understand?

- No, to be honest. - a little hostile answered Lena.

- Well then ... So you, in your department, a specific Lena like that, want to introduce changes?

- Oh sure.

- Why don't you introduce it?

“I have no authority.”

“Do you need the authority to bring order to the table?”

- No ... - Lena hesitated, because remembered her table - the same as a bag.

- Do you like everything in the information system?

- Well, not quite. I have long wanted to discuss such a moment with you. When we draw up a specification with a supplier, we need to note the agreement in the system so that the order goes further. And it’s inconvenient to search - well, those specifications where this coordination checkbox must be put down.

- For a long time you want to discuss this with me?

- I don’t remember, to be honest ... But what?

“Do you need the authority to discuss this with me?” Or to set a task for programmers?

- It seems not ... I do not know.

“All of you know, no authority is needed.” At us, users set tasks directly to programmers, without coordination and technical specifications. Your task is not only useful, but also very easy to implement. But you don’t put it, everyone is waiting for something. What, by the way?

- Damn, Sergei, I do not know. Just somehow there was a lack of time, or maybe hesitated, I don’t know.

- Well, now you understand how Dunno helps?

“You want to say that nothing really interferes with me, like this your Smeckyle?”

- Yes.

- I see. - Lena nodded. “Is there anything else besides Dunno?”

- Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn.

“What can these wonderful characters teach us?” - Lena picturesquely put her elbow on the table and propped her chin on her fist.

- Yes, you do not seem interested. - Sergey squinted.

- No, what are you, very interesting. The person who, by the will of fate, has led the strategic development of the company, will now retell Karl Marx to me.

- Mark Twain.

- What?

- Mark Twain wrote Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn.

- Oh, well, I'm sorry. - Lena leaned back in her chair. - Sergey, to be honest, it seems to me that we are wasting time in vain.

- So let's stop. - Sergey smiled and shrugged. - Just in case, I remind you that it was you who came to me, and not I to you. To me your idea initially seems pointless.

- And to me, not initially, but specifically now. I normally asked you about books, but you give out the list of literature for extracurricular reading.

Sergey sighed heavily, pursed his lips and fell silent. Lena looked at him for a few seconds, after which she stopped recording on the recorder.

- Okay, Sergey. - Lena got up from the chair. - Stay alone with your ego. I’ll go to the table. At least some benefit from the conversation.

Before Lena left the office, the door opened and Kurchatov appeared. In a bright pink sports-style jacket, a fun hat with long ears and ski pants.

- Hi! - the owner greeted cheerfully. - Well, how is the interview?

Lena, in small steps, returned to the chair and quietly sat down.

- Everything is in order, Evgeny Viktorovich! She smiled exhaustedly. - We write it, it turns out very interesting. The breaker did, now we continue.

- What question are you discussing now? - the owner pulled up a chair, sat down on the other side of Sergey.

- Your question about books.

- Oh, that's a great topic. I listen, if you do not mind? Sergey, how are you?

- Fine. - Sergey shrugged.

- That's great. What has already been added to the list?

Lena started to fuss, started rummaging through her bag again, for some reason she took out a notebook and began to leaf through it.

- Dunno introduced. - answered Sergey.

- Perfectly! - exclaimed Kurchatov. - One of my favorite books! I love reading it for children, there are so many beautiful metaphors! Simple and understandable, unlike the same Alice in the Looking Glass. I don’t know how far and deep Nosov looked when he wrote this book, but it turned out great! What else?

- That's all for now. - Lena answered languidly. - Sergey, what's next?

Sergei pretended to think. He stared at Kurchatov, trying, for some reason, to guess his mood.

- Okay. - said, finally, Sergey. - Take notes.

Lena hastily turned on the recorder and, with all her appearance, showed her willingness to listen.

- Eliyahu Goldratt, “Purpose” and “Choice”. More precisely, “Choice” was written by his daughter, but it doesn’t matter - it is all the same about Goldratt himself. What is interesting is not a business novel, but, so to speak, an ordinary book, with an acceptable and understandable description of some projects. Well, the business model of the Goldratt company is described.

- What model? - Kurchatov became interested.

- They fit in to increase turnover in retail chains, applying the theory of restrictions, as a percentage of the growth in turnover. It seems, from the point of view of the client, the scheme is a win-win. But Goldratt was so confident in his theory that he was not particularly afraid. True, he did not bother with every little thing - only with large, transnational networks.

- Interesting. - the owner said thoughtfully. - We would have such consultants ...

- But we are not retail. - Lena said barely audibly.

- No, the matter is in principle. - answered Kurchatov. - When the consultant does not take money for his hours, or stages, but only a percentage of the result. If someone came now and offered to double my profit, I would gladly give half of this increase without thinking at all.

- It's funny. - Sergey smiled. - It seems that the goal of our strategic project is to increase profits by three times in three years.

A shadow ran across Kurchatov’s face, but he quickly mastered his emotions and smiled.

- Do not be afraid, I will not offend. - said the owner and patted Sergei on the shoulder.

- Yes, I'm not afraid. - shrugged Sergey, from which Kurchatov’s hand fell off - it didn’t turn out very beautifully.

- Okay, okay. - continued Kurchatov. - I am sure that the theory of restrictions will find application with us. By the way, Sergey, where exactly? I have a few ideas on this.

- What are your ideas?

Kurchatov stopped short.

- No, let’s tell yours. He continued after a pause.

- Yes, I’m more interested in yours. - as if nothing had happened, asked Sergey.

“Okay, I caught ...” Kurchatov smiled. - I have no ideas. Maybe in production? Or in design?

- Not. - Sergey shook his head. - At the factory, this is bad.

- Why? - unexpectedly asked Lena. “I read The Goal, in the same place it was about production.

“And how are you?”

“What about me?”

- How do you like the book?

- To be honest ... - Lena was silent for a couple of seconds, gaining courage. - To be honest, not really.

- Why?

- It seemed to me that there is too much narcissism of the author.

- Where exactly? In which place?

- Well, there one of the heroes is a clear prototype of Goldratt himself. Jonah seems.

“What is wrong with him?” - Sergey asked with interest.

- Someone he ... Painfully smart, or something, turned out. It's a romance, albeit a business. The heroes must have some kind of internal struggle, shortcomings, and this Jonah is a direct standard. And they carry him in limousines, and he does not have a free minute, and he knows everything, knows how to ...

- And he is the same as us, only naked. - continued, smiling, Sergey.

- What?

- Did you watch a cartoon about Mowgli? Soviet.

- Yes, but what ...

- There Banderlog admired Mowgli, then abducted him. They said that he was just like them, only naked. - Then Sergey realized that his metaphor had not entered and stopped. - Nevermind…

- Here you go. At first it was interesting to read, then somehow ... I don’t know. As I imagine - such a Goldratt sits, writes, admires himself. He comes up with new difficulties for the heroes, and Jonah is always well done, he knows about all problems before they arise, he finds answers to all questions, and in general.

- You know, Lena. - Kurchatov suddenly entered. - No offense to you, but robbing yourself of yourself - this must have remarkable complexes. I have known you for a long time, you are a good, cheerful girl, and an excellent specialist, but it seems to be too much to interfere with the author and the work in one heap.

- Yes, I didn’t interfere ... That is, I didn’t mix ...

- You repeated the mistake of most people. - Kurchatov missed Lena's comments past his ears. - Do you know how it sounds?

- Not. - quietly said Lena.

Kurchatov fell silent and gazed steadily at the girl's face, which was beginning to blush.

- Hey, what are you doing. He smiled. “Relax, I don't blame you.” We do not have a formal conversation. After all, as far as I remember, in the strategic change team?

- Yes. - Lena said just as quietly.

- Well, consider that we have the first team meeting. - Kurchatov put his hand on Lena’s shoulder and slightly shook him. - Lena, come on, do not be discouraged! You have a lot to learn, but if you will for every reason, I apologize, dismiss the nurse, then nothing will come of it. Change is a very difficult task, it requires a strong spirit. Do you understand?

Lena managed to relax a little, and her voice ceased to tremble.

- Yes, I understand, Evgeny Viktorovich. - She wanted to quickly take the conversation away from her personality back to Goldratt. “I will take your remark into account for the future.”

- Well! - exclaimed Kurchatov. - Well, that would always be so! My advice to you: never interfere with the personality of the author in the text that he wrote. Undoubtedly, the personality is present there - the author, after all, passes the experiences of the heroes through himself. Someone can even endow with their own traits. But not because he is engaged in self-promotion or narcissism - it’s just more convenient. You know your own traits, thoughts, experiences better than strangers. Consider this a technique.

- I understand, Evgeny Viktorovich.

- Well ... Otherwise, we will not be able to read books. Take some Fandorin, and you will only think - that’s the damn Akunin, who imagines himself! And all women love him, and he alone owns the secrets of Japanese ninjas in all of Europe, and with kings he is on a short leg. But Pushkin imagines himself Guidon, who grew up in a barrel for several hours, and conquered the princess Lebed. But Dostoevsky decided for some reason that he understood the human soul better than anyone else in this world, although he himself played cards and wrote tearful letters to editors asking them to send money to end the novels. Have you agreed?

- Yes. - Lena was already uneasy, and she resolutely turned her attention to the third participant. - Sergey, we settled on the application of the theory of restrictions on production.

- Yes. - Sergey shook his head to wake up from his daze. “Ironically, Goldratt did not like production.”

- That is, as?

- Well, like this. No, in books he paints everything beautifully, and in his business he tried to work only with retail, because there the response to changes comes much faster. I tried not to take production and design activities. The risks are higher, the terms are longer, the exhaust is less. He is cunning. It was.

- Seriously? - Lena was either really interested, or decided to go with the flow. - And what about?

- How to be? No way.

- In terms of? We will not apply this theory in production?

- We will, why not. You just need to understand that there is little real practice, including with Goldratt himself. There is a small description of the project on Hitachi, in the article “Standing on the shoulders of the titans”, and of the fantasies from “Goals”. Next - yourself.

- What yourself?

- Well, you yourself have to think with your own head. Take fundamental principles and try to adapt them to your realities. Everything as a grandfather bequeathed.

- What grandfather? - Lena asked perplexedly.

- Goldratt. He is often called on the Internet - grandfather Eliyahu.

“Hmm, interesting ...” Kurchatov said thoughtfully. - Did not know…

All fell silent for a while, apparently pondering the doctrine and fate of the great grandfather Eliyahu. Lena sat motionless for some time, but soon began to crawl on a chair, showing impatience. Apparently, there were some other plans during the holidays, besides participating in a strange interview.

- Sergey, what else will we add to the list? She asked in a cheerful tone.

“Scrum, this is Jeff Sutherland's book.” Only a book must be, and not articles or guides.

- Why?

- Because only the book normally explains what a scrum is and why it is needed. Evgeny Viktorovich, agree?

- Of course! I also read this book - awesome!

- Oh, tell me more. - Lena turned to Kurchatov.

- So, stop, you’re taking an interview from Sergey, not from me. - smiled the owner.

- I'm not against. - Sergey sluggishly answered. - Tell me, I'm also interested in listening.

- Good. - nodded Kurchatov. - Scrum is a technique that allows you to speed up any activity at times, up to eight. Can you imagine?

“We have little faith, to be honest ...” Lena answered, although her whole appearance betrayed an unaccountable faith.

- In vain! Because I want your procurement department to switch to scrum!

- Great idea! - picked up Lena.

- Shit idea. - Sergey also said listlessly.

Never before had Sergey seen a man blush so quickly. Kurchatov survived, but Lena ... She was clearly ready to fall through the ground. The owner was silent, staring at the offender. The former cheerful expression was replaced by shifted eyebrows, which suddenly became thin lips and narrowed eyes.

- Explain? - finally squeezed out of himself Kurchatov.

- I will explain. - Sergei clearly underestimated the seriousness of the situation. - You, Evgeny Viktorovich, I apologize, manager.

“I never thought that was a flaw.” - he answered dryly.

- In this case, this is the case. Worse, you are not just a manager, you are an entrepreneur. Your goal is opportunity. Niches, markets, competitors 'mistakes, weaknesses of clients' decision-makers, sanctions with import substitution, acceleration of people’s work on the ball. Without understanding the principles.

- What principles do you think I did not understand?

- Pure Scrum - it is about project activities. What is the difference between a project and a routine?

- Come on, your version.

- Uniqueness in the first place. The same design tasks. Therefore, they are written on stickers. Try writing down the supply department tasks on stickers.

- Lena, will it work out? - turned Kurchatov to Lena, who managed to lose the red color, and now was white as chalk.

“I ... I don’t know, Viktor Evgenievich ...” she muttered.

- I know. - Sergey answered. “Not a damn thing.” More precisely, it will turn out nonsense - a bunch of stickers with the same repetitive tasks, like “order sleeves”, “agree on a price protocol” or “specify delivery times”. If you make people carry out their routine duties in the form of stickers, then no one will read them, let alone follow them. This will result in a typical surrogate, born of a sick imagination of a manager trying to jump out of his own underpants.

It was a pity to look at Lena. The atmosphere squeezed her so that her shoulders drooped, her neck almost disappeared, and her eyes turned into two small slits, as if they did not want to see what was happening. Kurchatov was silent, but suddenly began to fumble in his pockets, pulled out a smartphone, looked at him and abruptly got up from his chair.

- Sorry, I have an urgent matter. I'll be back soon.

And headlong out of the office. Sergey sighed heavily, took a pen from the table and began to bite it hard. I tried so hard that after half a minute a hole appeared in the plastic plug through which the rod got out. Then Sergey switched to nails.

Suddenly, the phone itself vibrated. Sergey unblocked it - a message arrived in the messenger. From Kurchatov. “Say you went to smoke.” I'm waiting in my office. ”

Sergey was in a panic. The thought flashed out to remove the battery from the smartphone, and then say that I forgot it at home. But in the messenger, near the message, two green checkmarks were already treacherously flaunted.

Nothing to do. Sergey got up, and barely holding on his cotton legs, trudged to the second floor. When he reached the owner’s office, he knocked softly on the door.

- Come on in. - a stern, emotionless voice was heard.

Sergey entered. Kurchatov stood with his back to the door and looked out the window. He was no longer wearing a jacket - underneath was a fleece sports jacket.

- You, ***, absolutely *** or what? - without turning, asked Kurchatov in the same even tone.

- A? - asked Sergey.

- Be, ***. Who do you think you are, *** wise guy? What are you doing? - Kurchatov turned to Sergey.
For many years of work in the company, Sergey never saw the owner like that. It happened, of course, that he was screaming, chastising people, publicly firing, but that way ... From surprise Sergey did not know what to answer. And Kurchatov continued to advance.

- Who am I, a buddy-drinking buddy, or something, a drunk ***? Do you feel any boundaries? Played the sun-like God? Imagine yourself a savior of the company? My company!

“To be honest ...” Sergey began, his tongue twisting hard in his dry mouth.

- To be honest, you - ***, Serge. I entrusted you with a serious matter, I made it with my right hand, and with this hand you decided to slap me in the face with my subordinates?

- I just want ...

- Yes, I do not care what you want there! Cried Kurchatov suddenly, still holding on. - I hired you! Hired in my company! This is my business, my fiefdom, my universe! I’m here Alpha and Omega, and you are nobody! Fucking piece of stinky shit!

- As you say. - quietly, but with a hint of confidence in his voice, said Sergey. - On the first working day I will write a statement. You will not see me again.

- What? - Kurchatov made a squeamish face. - What, ***, statement? Wait ...

He suddenly seemed to remember something and thought. Sergei, who remembered the same a little earlier, silently waited for the development of events. Kurchatov thought intensely, his eyebrows were sowing, his lips moved nervously. Then he smiled.

- I remembered six salaries upon dismissal.

- I do not insist. - Sergey shrugged.

- You’d still, ***, insisted. - grinned Kurchatov. - I ...

Kurchatov thought again. Sergei, who had previously stood quietly on two legs, began to shift. He liked the thought of the impending dismissal more and more.

“I'll give you three salaries.” - said Kurchatov arrogantly.

- No, thanks. - Sergey suddenly, not expecting such a thing from himself, weighed a real, albeit a slight curtsy. - Keep your pennies for yourself. I will not work with you, Evgeny Viktorovich.

Then he spun sharply on his heel (probably leaving a black mark on linoleum, to the joy of the cleaning staff) and left the office.

- Wait, we're not done! Came the stern voice of Kurchatov from behind.

But Sergey did not listen. I reached the office, thought for a second what to do with the computer, and resolutely pressed the shutdown button. After three seconds, the power LED goes out.

- What happened? Lena asked quietly, trying to sneak a peek into Sergey’s eyes.

It was not so easy to do this, because his eyes were filled with tears, for the first time in twenty-five years, and Sergei hid them.

- Nothing. He answered as dryly as possible, but his voice was trembling.

He took a bag from the floor, pulled off a jacket from the back of the chair, threw it over his shoulders and went to the exit.

- And the interview?

- Without me.