Designers and Pigeons


    AS: I immediately wanted to put the signature stamp “ not gay ”. Pigeons have a slippery metaphorical reputation. And it will be about this and not about this at the same time.

    Pigeons and designers are the victims (or spoils, then the card will lie down) of the invented image , which is so firmly entrenched in the public mind that it is sometimes difficult to pick out even undeniable personal experience. They have other common points that I want to talk about. For the first, with the playful hands of Picasso, the title of " birds of the world ." “ Ha ha ha ,” say the zoologists, “ ha ha ha", - say the Venetians, other big townspeople, and generally everyone who has eyes on his forehead, and brains behind him. But to believe in it is easy and simple; as simple as the fact that the designer is a young ( up to forty ) man, fancyly dressed, metrosexual, with a French beard and a crazy look ( I didn’t come up with this, but translated the “Central European statistical conclusion”).

    The first and second are absolutely antisocial . Fights for food, fame (of local importance, with a small letter), a project, a pigeon, a place in a cube-with-a-window, at the feeding trough, an increase ...

    It 's easy to guess the place of the pigeon " forum ". By sound, smell, consequences ... With design forums- the same song (what a blessing that they are in the virtual, where the place for excrement is not limited).

    Give the designer any thing (even if made by the right hand of Gd himself), and he will say in two ways that this is a notorious “ shit ”, and if he doesn’t, he will surely find twenty (± 10) places that he can do “ better ”,“ more convenient ”and“ more interesting ”. Show the pigeon a monument made by Rodin himself, and he ... The

    designer believes that the name of his profession is stylish, sexy in itself, and makes girls feel good (and the inscription on the business card “ art director ” is generally a deep orgasm-on-site) The pigeon finds his grunting melodious (it should be noted that luck is on his side in this, the pigeons have no brains, they like it).

    The pigeons do not give a damn about who feeds them. Did you see grandfather with crumbs and a hundred pigeons on his shoulders in the park, with an expression of kind dementia on his wrinkled face? Stand with a crust of bread nearby. In a minute, all the pigeons will be at your feet, hands ... well, where the crumbs will fall. I will not continue. Designers who have worked for more than three years in one company - please unsubscribe in the comments.

    Pigeon nests deserve special attention. As a rule, these are three branches, two sprays and a lump of moss. If there were designers among the pigeons, they would definitely say (contemptuously curving their mouths): “ this is such a cunning minimalist idea, well, you don’t understand ...»Designer's dwellings can be different, but there is certainly a reason to tell the guest something like that, contemptuously twisting his mouth.

    Ordinary designers ”, like “ chord pigeons ”, are one of the lower, small and very ( oh-very!) interchangeable links in the chain of happiness, wealth and great pleasures, big important Animals (power- and feed-holding). But there are distant lighthouses and landmarks (David Carson, Pigeon Burnie, Neville Brody, Chip Kidd, Postal Pigeon Sanidei, Artemy Lebedev) that haunt Maxik, an unfortunate little graphic from the Superprint. Any printed orders for one hundred rubles. Also websites. Entrance from the yard. " They shine with distant Porsches ™, bestowing faith in eternal glory, the ability to water shit anyone with impunity and authority, and fat champagne and cognac Happiness. the little maksik sobs, and instead of “ Dear Grandfather ...” he displays on the forum page: “ ... yes, you moron, have you ever seen a real umik? ..

    PS: professional laziness did not allow me to put quotation marks wherever the meaning required them. Therefore, standing designers (and competent pigeons of the world) will understand everything, and will not be offended.

    The original is on the designer’s blog (hmm, by the way ...)

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