"Textbook for Barbie" - a guide for real bitch

    Well, I couldn’t get past this :) The
    following is a very interesting text:


    By your 19 years, you undoubtedly already know that many millions of years of the existence of this world were just a preparatory stage before the birth of You. Now this whole world is forever yours. Here she is! This is an insignificant planet for which you are too beautiful. Here is your world! He stands at your amazing legs and whines in anticipation of a chance to please you.


    This world is simple, like the process of buying cigarettes in a nearby stall. It is simple as the outfits of your best friends. He is messy and tasteless like their hairstyles. You and other people live in this world. People are divided into:

    A) Women
    B) Men

    Women are generally better, smarter, and tougher than men. This is known to all. And those who dispute this Truth - let them go and try to give birth.

    Women of this world are divided into:

    A) You

    B) Ugly C) Ugly

    , who dress like fools, behave like fools and imagine too much about themselves.

    There are several types of ugly women - girlfriends, strangers and stars of show business (there are all kinds of models, Jennifer Lopez are fat, Angelina Jolly is old and other trash). Girlfriends are ugly women who know that you are beautiful and smart. Unfamiliar ugly women are women who pretend not to be noticed or envied by you. Stars are all ugly as one and it is generally not clear why there is such a fuss around them. The existence of ugly women - stars of show business tells us that fools work in newspapers, magazines, cinema and television, who take off all kinds of fools, not you.

    Ugly women who dress like fools, behave like fools and imagine too much about themselves differ from ugly women in that although they realize your superiority in everything, they don’t admit it and even vice versa - they think that they are smarter and more beautiful you. Hahaha Whisper all the editors. Well, you have to be like that ...

    Well, that's enough for the rest of the women. Why talk a lot about them? There would be nothing to talk about though.

    Men

    There are two types of men - the ones you met and the unfortunate losers. Both of these species are united by one thing - they all want you. You know that for sure.

    If a man says good morning, he wants to sleep with you.

    If a man says "Sergeant Ivanov. Present your documents" - he is ready to sell all his organs for the opportunity to touch your waist.

    If a man says, “How do you, prostate, sheep, manage to remove everything from your computer?” - this animal is just thinking how to get you to bed.

    If a man completely undeservedly appointed by your boss screams at you, crimson, about some outstanding work and then dismisses you with the words “If you try to enter this office again, I will kill you” - he will avenge you that you didn’t surrender to him, despite his persistent Good Morning every day.

    If at some point none of the men looks at you dreamily and tries to talk to you, ask any of them “What time is it?”, Listen to any answer and tell the person who is tired of sexually preoccupied people like him.

    If you do not ask anyone - write to someone unfamiliar in ICQ "Hello!" Wait for any answer and explain to him what you think about maniacs. And you can write “Greetings” and not answer anymore. Let the damned pervert torment!

    Among men, there are exceptions. For example Johnny Depp. AAAAAAAA. Squeal the whole editorial staff! He is such a duo! Not that all these maniacs are around. On the other hand, everyone, and even Joni Depp, understands that if he suddenly sees you, he will crave you and stay with you forever!

    There are a few simple, well-known Truths:

    1) You always know better how it should be, how it is right and who is worth what. The one who argues with you is simply ridiculous and stupid.

    2) You were such a hooligan in childhood!

    3) This country is not for you. Everything is too bad here and people are evil. Johnny Depp will arrive soon and take you to any other country. Everything will be fine there and cultural people.

    4) Those who boast of their intelligence and education - in fact, just ponte. Well, or fill their ugly loneliness with reading all kinds of moore. Hahaha What else should they do?

    5) The most advanced music in your player. There Zemfira, Robi Williams (AAAAAA! He is such a darling !!!), DJ Testo and Ramstein! It is very cool and fashionable. And who thinks that music is better, he is a rural collective farm and understands nothing in music!

    6) The waiters are fools and cattle! You’ll ask them for a thread that’s cool for dessert, and they carry profiteroles when everyone knows that cool is ice cream. Nothing! Johnny Depp will come ...

    7) When you are sausage at a disco - everyone stops and looks ONLY at YOU! And you are like that - oppa! And you are sausage.

    8) When you come to the sea and sunbathe in your AFIGHITIVE swimsuit, men are embarrassed to get up from the bedspread, where they lie on their stomach and look only at you. And they themselves, most importantly, arrived with their wives.

    9) Saying "Pretiks", "Mnu", "Like a little truck", "I am a poor defachka" is cool and a sign of a sparklingly cheerful girl and crazy prankster.

    10) When you walk down the street or office, men are very sorry that you can’t lie on your stomach.

    11) If suddenly a shooting starts nearby, is someone quarreling over you or you sent a couple of acquaintances to punish some moron.

    Well, in general, and all that we wanted to tell you about the structure of this world.

    Over the course of four hundred pages, we will talk about more pleasant things.

    We will talk about Category A Woman.

    About you, dear Special Girl.

    With admiration, love and admiration, your edition. »

    Taken from:
    http://bambuk11.livejournal.com/161803.html

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