About finding yourself


Probably, like many, I did not immediately find application in this world. And in my case, it took a lot of time to search for myself, and the people around me made a great contribution to this, for which I thank them endlessly.

I believe, I now have a feeling that I found what I was looking for.

Along with this, in my circle of friends there are people for whom this issue is still relevant. And, since I used to be fond of writing articles, I decided that my story and conclusions could be useful to someone.

Immediately, of course, I want to make a reservation that all of the following is not fully history, but also not a universal guide. These are generalizations from the path that I went from a military university to psychology, marketing, and eventually came to the IT field.

Point 1. Where to start?

The first thing to think about is “What can I produce (create / generate often, a lot and relatively easy to do)?” .

Or it may sound somewhat different: “What the hell do other people (or myself) most often notice in me, or what do they often turn to me with?”

This is the most fundamental point, which ultimately leads, first, to awareness and secondly, it determines the vector of application of efforts. And ultimately it divides the world into those who do what they love, do it well and for good money; and for those who “suffer, but weave,” those who go to an unloved job, do it badly and, of course, receive little.

/ * There may be several paragraphs (or articles) about the reasons that lie in beliefs about oneself, about one’s capabilities, about the world and about permissions. But omit or expand another time. * /

Speaking as a whole, this is the core on which “calling” is built and this is what will somehow manifest in a person, either constructively or destructively. This will either everywhere appear as a source of additional “energy”, or it will try to prove itself and break what it is, because it does not get any other way out. That is, it can manifest itself as “energy”, which moves us to what we want, otherwise it will push us out of what we do not want.

So. Starting point: What can I produce a lot and easily?

Hence two ways:

1.1 - I know that
1.2 - I do not know what

First, paragraph 1.2. “I don’t know what I can produce”

If it is not known what, or it seems that I cannot produce anything. I must say, I'm almost sure that every person by the age of 20, plus or minus, has some pronounced trait, and maybe not one. This refers to some activity, which is associated with a kind of state of involvement, immersion and concentration of attention. John Grinder and Judith Delosier in the book "Turtles to the Bottom" call it a "demonic state", well, or it may not yet be fully formed, but it can be seen from the outside.

If nevertheless there is no such feature or is not visible. That is most likely the problem :
"lack of activity and experience in interacting with different people / objects / situations in different contexts."

Decision: (Oddly enough) Make up for this deficit. Start trying different activities, explore new areas, get new information. Particularly noteworthy is what is least known or close. It is worth trying to look at it with the most unbiased and open look. And so try until a regular feature appears.

Note : This does not mean “give up everything and look for inspiration.” It's about taking all your free time, shaking all the g ** out of it - instagrams, VK, stupid TV shows, talking to stupid people, spitting at the ceiling, playing a console and a thousand more time killers.

Invest time in solving an urgent task. Then you will have dividends in the form of pleasure from life.

Clause 1.1. “I know what I can produce”

There is a fork again.

1.1.A - That which I can - is claimed
1.1.B - That which I can - is not claimed
(Alas, the world is ruthless)

From a personal story ...
By the age of 20, I clearly noticed a natural feature in me that I listen to people, see the essence of the situation and can give some kind of answer that will reorganize the initial situation and the situation is getting better.

By the way, I studied at a military university, it was in no way connected with my current activities.
The premise of all this arose much earlier. As early as 14 years old I said that I was not interested in classical and fiction (now I’ll say that not all, but I didn’t know everything then), because in essence the situations described there do not give me anything useful and do not change anything, it’s just a description of situations and most often a description of feelings about it. I wanted "more meaning." And he found such books first at Carlos Castaneda, then in the works of Nietzsche, Schopenhauer and away we go ...

As a result, this feature manifested itself in everything that I did and can be briefly described as a vision and visualization of the structure + vision of patterns / patterns.

Clause 1.1.A. “I know that I can produce and this is in demand”

In fact, there is also a plug, but I will say it easier. It happens quite rarely that you have a pronounced trait and it is in demand in its pure form. But it happens.
For example, there is a striking feature of doing a beautiful manicure, somehow masterly and with great pleasure. Demanded in its purest form.

OK. We proceed to the next paragraph 2 - "Outgrow the novice."
See further.

It often happens that a pronounced trait indirectly refers to a particular activity.
For example, what do you think is common between motor repair, psychological counseling, and programming?

There is no correct answer, but for myself I found that when I was engaged in each of these types of activities, I basically used the same trait. The ability to abstract from the immediate content, see the structure / patterns and reorganize it / them so that the result produced by the structure is better for more criteria.

Of course, this trait has a different wrapper in different areas. And returning to the topic, the same trait, wrapped in different ways, can refer in one case to clause 1.1.A (claimed) and to clause 1.1.B (not claimed) .

Note: When you formulate your expressed trait for yourself, do not be alarmed) This sometimes sounds strange and it is not clear where it is and why. This is normal. Let me remind you that in many respects the matter is in the wrapper. But it’s very important that what you have “under the wrap” is what you love and what brings you pleasure or “a bunch of negative emotions and beliefs”.

So here. If you are at the point where you felt in yourself that ignites you and gives you “energy”, then you are already on the right track. Probably, the only wish is: “Not Sy. Turn on your imagination ... express yourself even more ... perceive what is happening as a game ... more often close your eyes and imagine that there may be more of this, imagine that there are no obstacles ... move more confidently and boldly ... ”

Plus, it will never be superfluous to mix something with something.

Many successful projects / products were formed at the junction of two or more areas, or when placing something from one context into another. Unmanned taxis, 3D printers, self-service shops, car sharing, timecafe, caligrafutourism Pokras Lampas, instant printers, electric scooters, surfing on an artificial wave, robotic surgery ... Damn, but so many things ... And all this is done not by someone from other planets, but such the same people as you and me.
Start small, strive for the great!

Books that may be of interest to philosophy: R. Dilts and S. Gilligen - “Hero's Journey”; V. Demchog - “Mythology of many faces”; R. Gandapas - “Full F”.

Plus, probably, it doesn’t hurt to read something about marketing and about tools for business. But there’s already someone like ... Although you still need to promote yourself or your services, whatever they may be. So feel free to read Igor Mann and listen to Business Youth in your free time.

And go to point 2 - "Outgrow the newbie . "

Clause 1.1.B “I know that I can, but it is not in demand”

This is a more frequent state of things. But not because there is so much unclaimed, more often the question relates to personal beliefs. For example, I have a friend, he is engaged in programming that he does not like, and we will be honest, he doesn’t do it very well. But at the same time he draws well for his pleasure. And he is convinced that, I quote, “yes, who needs it,” he is about his drawings.

A person is obviously convinced that artistic skills (not currently wrapped in any packaging) are commercially unpromising. It follows that he will not take steps to develop the skill, since he does not believe in it. Even though it gives him pleasure, unlike what he is doing now. This leads to the following negative belief: "that which brings money does not give pleasure." But it should be the other way around.

Possible problems of this point and possible solutions, respectively:

  • “No wrap required”

A difficult question, but in general - “he who seeks will find”
Seriously, it can be solved either through mental experiments (for introverts) - to imagine how you do this or that work in detail, or how this or that one does this work another person. Or through communication - ask everyone around about their activities in detail and try on yourself. Ideally, do both. And also be attentive to your intuition and listen to what responds.

As for understanding the “wrapper philosophy,” I got a little late in a book that contains a lot of useful things for this. David Newman "Take and Do! 77 of the most useful marketing tools. ” Aligns the picture of the world.
More at this stage and in this article I will not say.

  • “Not enough level”

It’s easy to guess. Level up. Courses, communication with professionals, and most importantly - set yourself difficult tasks and at all costs solve them.

  • "An overabundance of negative beliefs that greatly distort the picture of the world and lead to the state of" hedgehog in the fog under LSD "

There is more than one solution, but I can say that it will definitely benefit. First of all, this is of course communication with a competent (!) Psychologist. Finding a competent psychologist is not very easy, but I believe that this is possible and that you are lucky.

Secondly, it is reading useful (!) Books. I give a list of those that I read and which I find very useful in this context.

Richard Bender - Conversations (not all, but there are interesting chapters); R. Bender, J. Grinder - “The structure of magic”; Ken Wilber - “Theory of Everything”, “A Brief History of Everything”; Timur Gagin - “Plasticine of the World”; Peter McNab - Integral Communication.

  • “The lack of softskills, which prevents you from submitting yourself as a specialist and prevents you from building adequate communication”

In general, to be a professional is necessary and commendable, but more often than not this is not enough. We all live in a world where there are a lot of people and we need to communicate with them, despite the fact that everyone is very different. All the power of NLP, coaching and business training to help you, plus the same books as in the previous paragraph, plus R. Dilts “Tricks of the Language”, and for hardcore musicians there is Michael Hall “The Magic of Communication” and “51 Metaprogram”.

Item 2. Outgrow the Newbie

As you know, "Practice makes perfect."

When you know what is naturally generated from you, and this is in demand, a situation may arise that there are many like you. The notorious competition. This is an important point, which, when examined superficially, gives rise to one inadequate assumption: "I am full of people who need me." This is only partially true. This state of affairs applies only to the initial level of possession of a particular skill. In other words, the most competition is due to the large number of newcomers and (sad story) those who have long been engaged in "not their business." In other words, this is not fully competition, since 50% of competitors are those who are just starting out and those who have long squeezed out of themselves what they are not doing very well and their quality of results is low, as the level of interest is low and motivation

In fact, half of them need to go to point 1 and start over. Because they will not be able to pass point 2 precisely because they do not have the most basic - a huge source of interest and involvement, which is a consequence of the fact that you are doing what (conditionally) comes from you. In other words, the answer to the question: “What can I produce a lot and easily” is what you have a basic interest and affection for. It may well be called "mission", "mission" or "calling." Clarifying the moment that the “calling” is actually not a specific activity, but the trait thanks to which this or that activity is obtained well, (conditionally) easily and with pleasure.

For the sake of history, I must say that I consciously applied this trait first in psychology, then in sales, then in SEO, and only now in development. And I returned three times in essence to paragraph 1.1.B to the problem of inappropriate wrappers. And I must say in each of these types of activities my skill gave good results, but they were different financially and different in terms of pleasure.

So here. Having thrown aside the conviction of competition, it is necessary to check whether there are still convictions that interfere easily and with pleasure to improve?

Anyway, it’s worth taking the habit of conducting a kind of “Check back”:
“At what point am I?”
“Are I moving where I want?”
“What prevents me from moving?”
“What do I need to move on?”
“What do I need to do to get what I need to move on?”

Who is interested in referring to the NLP model ...
In fact, checking the current state is a pattern taken from the TOTE model, which first appeared in cybernetics, then NLPers dragged it. The bottom line is a universal description of the actions of any living system. It stands for Test 1 - Operate - Test 2 - Exit. Algorithmically, you can draw it like this:
tote algorithm

Fear / ignorance of what exactly to do next can also interfere. Self-confidence can interfere. A lot of things can be. But the essence does not change. You need to raise your level.
If you yourself are not very clear what needs to be improved, then it is quite possible to find colleagues who get more and compare knowledge. Or go through the eychars with the question: "I want to earn as much as I need for this."

Well, and then the actual improvement and refinement of skills. The more competent you are, the more you can, the more you influence, the more you need, the more you make a profit, the more you can, the more your influence ... well, you understand.

In addition, there is another point.

Clause 2.1. Common Features of the Non-Beginner

The bottom line is that in different areas different professional skills are required and I can not say about that. But there is something that in any promising area will be positive for a specialist who wants to improve his "rank".

I can miss something, but the plus or minus list is this:

  • Vision of the general picture of the market / sphere / industry; the ability to compare and see similarities and differences, and to know what leads to what result
  • Awareness of the sphere of their influence, their competencies; comparison with other specialists, knowledge of their strengths and weaknesses; knowledge for which tasks your competencies are enough, and for which not, and which competencies are missing
  • As a result, see the levels of specialists and levels of companies / business
  • The ability and desire to take responsibility for what you do; knowledge of the boundaries of their responsibility; desire to take more responsibility
  • Understanding exactly how your skills affect the activities of the company / industry / industry and how exactly your actions affect profit
  • Ability to see existing problems; ability to understand / figure out what their reason is; the ability to find a solution, even if there is no ready, and others do not know
  • The ability to separate the main from the secondary, the important from the unimportant, the useful from the useless
  • It’s wise to choose when to act tactically and when strategically (and know what the difference is)
  • The ability to explain the details of their work and generally the ability to explain; and later to teach
  • To expand your horizons in the industry and expand the number of indirect professional skills

About the latter, for example, I'm the front-end. At the junior level, they expect me to know HTML, CSS, JS, I am able to typeset efficiently, adaptively and cross-browser. I know the basic framework. Git, then se ...

As an extension of skills, it’s quite good to study server languages ​​- NodeJS, PHP, Python, knowledge of the database device and poke, for example, MySQL / MongoDB, the ability to work from the console, Bash, networking, writing bots / parsers ... .and much more.

I try to draw attention to the fact that, in principle, knowing the main thing, I can call myself a front-end developer. And this is not in dispute. But only the base does not distinguish me in any way and, most importantly, does not deepen my knowledge, does not expand my vision and intuition.

From the history...
A frontend once came to us for an interview, which has been developing for 12 years, but still knows about the basics - HTML, CSS, JS, jQuery, popular CMS. And apparently he believes that this is enough. In principle, he passed the interview, and completed a test plus or minus. But the choice nevertheless fell on a more interested candidate.

You can write further about scaling, automation, opinion leadership, mentoring and cloning leaders, but I think, as soon as you get to the “second base” (as ambiguous jokes in American comedies), everything goes farther “like clockwork”.

Based on the humor of Vladimir Marconi, “Well, now, those who read this article, you will surely become cooler than the others who read this article. You can transfer money to my electronic wallet ... ". In general, I hope someone will find these thoughts useful.

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