Bad advice to the customer

Move the keyboard for a few minutes, take a hot steaming mug of coffee in your hand, imagine that you are wearing warm woolen socks with deer, sit back in a chair, and finally relax. The end of the year, you can afford, in the end. Even if the nose is deadline, but I don’t feel like working overtime on December 31st. What normal customer will force his programmer to hastily deploy an un-tested production code on the very eve of the holiday? You squint and grin slightly at the corner of your mouth, because you can't be led. And you haven’t seen such! And where do they come from? Someone advises them bad, not otherwise. And they are naive people, believe everything. It would be nice to take a look at these harmful tips, because of which customers by no means can find a common language with us, simple and conscientious developers wearing socks with deer!


PS All examples are taken from real life and diligently picked out from the bowels of one well-known online labor exchange, the name of which I, of course, will not tell you, but you will, of course, guess.

If
you found a Programmer for your task ,
And he coped well,
Bringing you contentment,
Do not take his contacts.
The path will be covered in mystery.
His identity is like Batman
Rules the code for you at night.

Looking forward a freelancer whose nick name is Venus.
Please contact to me if you are real VENUS.
This is a long-term project with cooperation.

If you imagined
Yachts, villas, naked women,
And the presented is very
inspired by the accomplishment,
urgently need a programmer,
even, maybe a couple is better.
Let the application be written,
What will shut the whole world up for the belt!

i want to create an app that people are going to like and want something new but different
needs to be quick on computers and
must know how to work together as a team

As you know, programmers
are asking a lot of money.
Where can I get such amounts
to hire in abundance?
There is one big trick:
You don’t have to give them money.
Instead, with speeches it
would be better to cajole them.

Work for good life
Looking job expirience and Windows 7/8/10
Expirience system devoleper

If Dad gave it for the first time
For pocket expenses,
By exposing the vein,
What glitters with businessmen,
Urgent you get down to business
And buy not a chocolate bar,
But experienced programmers,
After all, three dollars is not a joke!

I am 10 years old and I need to make a website that resembles https: //*******.com
but I will be renting kids video games.
This will be a subscription-based service.

If you
withdraw money from an ATM twice in a bank ,
you can safely introduce yourself as a
financial expert.
There is no need to shade:
A couple of good programmers,
they know a lot of
languages , They will make the dream a reality.

Build a mobile app for ALL banks. This will be the future.
creating a creative app, cutting out the middle man
all types of programming languages

It so happens that the idea,
It seems, is in the air,
It’s worth it to reach out only
And catch luck by the tail.
It’s not easy to convey
this idea to programmers.
Yes, and do not try,
So understand - they are not children!

not sure
not sure
not sure

If, dear reader,
you have mastered all the advice, it
should be very clear
why the customer wants
you to see the transparent lines of
red perpendicular
on the screen in green
would display for three pennies.