In search of mutual understanding - 2: “Bad advice” for my IT colleagues

In July, we published a selection of Bad Tips for customers of digital agencies, web studios, and Internet marketing agencies and received many comments confirming that, if not all, then most, are faced with the situations described in the article. However, not only customers are complex. Inside the IT-team lives a huge number of different specialists who no-no but give a surprise to colleagues by doing something "sort of."

Who are they? Developers of all levels and specializations, Internet marketers, SEO experts, account and project managers, sales managers, web designers ... And do not forget that any of us may turn out to be “the same strange colleague”. If you are sure that you are the perfect colleague, then do not read further (although no, read).

Do it, the site, how you can,
You're the best, you know :) I
attach a scan of a business card!
This is all that the client gave :( I
'm running away, waiting for a meeting,
If anything, then call!


Engage maximum channels

The task cannot be allowed to go unnoticed. Do you use Teamer and Google Calendar? Set the task there. We sent a customer letter by email. Details on the task, which were discussed later with the client over the phone, discard on Skype. Went to dinner and remembered one detail? Send this clarification to Telegram. After 20:00, another idea came up with a problem? Share it on Vkontakte.

Imagine that your colleagues are telepaths ...

And do not spend too much time in order to clearly and clearly formulate the task, do not specify whether the colleague understood what is required. Describe the task in three words by mail or in the task manager, use emoticons. Be sure to remind that this must be done very, very urgently and indicate that you can be contacted to clarify questions in the mail or by phone, and now you are "running away."

When planning is your forte

Does the client ask you to complete the task as quickly as possible? Promise to deal with this and when setting the task, evaluate it at 3 hours instead of the set 9. In the same way, you can save the incorrectly calculated project budget. Anyway, it's not you who is to blame, it's the developers who are slowly working.

# tyzhfilolog

A copywriter, content specialist, or other specialist has crept into your team who mistakenly said that he studied for a philologist? This is lucky! Now, every word or sentence that you doubt the spelling can be checked with a colleague at any time of the day or night. Even if you write a post on Twitter.


Designers are wizards who can make a website out of an empty white field 1200 * 3000px. Therefore, they can safely ask everything: make the text bold or increase what font to use in the CP, whether green and red combine, which wallpaper is better to choose for the kitchen ...

# tyzhprogrammer

This is another wizard in the office who seems to know everything. And she often utters strange words and strangely jokes. Therefore, in the event of a printer or computer breakdown, it will definitely be able to help!

Properly delegate

You see that colleague in the far corner of open-space? He carries lunch with him and rarely leaves the office during the day. Leave him 5 handsets of a work phone and a request to pick up documents from a courier who promised to arrive from 12 to 14 hours, and you can leave for a three-hour business lunch.

If you are a little boss
And manage the department,
Show your guys
Power, care and love.
Plan seven gliders,
Give everyone an additional task, a
bunch of edits (you can!).
Tell me how each is dear,
And disappear at exactly five.

Draw the gliders

Leader = gliders. True? Therefore, if you manage a department of at least 1 person, make a schedule and plan it. It is advisable to discuss at least half an hour extensively about plans for the future, for example. It is not necessary to engage in specific planning there, but you can put a couple of additional tasks for the subordinate.


You do not have to understand the product that you offer the client every day, the main thing is to remember the names and 5-10 theses and memorize the script. For questions that do not fit into this minimum, you can answer "I will check with a specialist" and go to clarify. Even if this question has already been asked many times. Asking the same thing is normal.

Works for you

If you got an account with a detected functional problem, then without turning your head and not listening to it, answer “It works for me”, because everything worked for you before you gave the site for testing, right? Recheck and ask clarifying questions - for wimps.



Keep order in the workplace, look at all the monitors available to your eyes and hand over in the messenger to the leadership of everyone who sits on VKontakte working hours or watches pictures. Even if your colleague did it, an SMM worker.


Do not ask clarifying questions, even if you do not understand what is required of you in the task. Do it yourself slowly, as I understand it. Suffer from what turns out, but try hard. And then sincerely surprised if in the end it turns out that this is not what was required of you. You can even loudly outrage or be offended.

Be sure

Are you writing a progress report for a client? Most importantly, do not double-check it yourself and do not ask your colleagues to do it. How many of these reports have you already written, what could go wrong this time? And if all of a sudden, let the manager communicate with the dissatisfied client.

Delegate on time

If you noticed a colleague at dinner in the kitchen, sit down and start a conversation about work. It is advisable to urgent tasks that need to be done before the evening. And so that a colleague would definitely remember everything, break off in mid-sentence and suddenly run away back into the bowels of the office.

Take everything to heart,
Take offense at all the changes,
Walk very, very sad,
Think and suffer for a long time.
Well, if suddenly the offender
writes letters to you again,
Answer thirty minutes each , write a
lot of dots,
prove to him with words,
how he was wrong and where.
If your chair is still smoldering,
Just a caps with a naori.

Prove you're not a robot

Take to heart your bugs and teamlide comments about your code. Get upset and take the art director’s edits as a reference to personal curvature. Even if no one has seen your joint, especially the client.

Stay in your work time

Have you set a task to be closed this week? Well, Friday night is the best time for this. Proudly inform your account at 19:00 that you have finished, put it on a “live” server and run. Ahead of the weekend. Or not?

Be a good friend

If you are at least a little leader, be sure to bring your businessman friend as a customer. It doesn’t matter that he has a logo in Word and the development budget is less than on the public VKontakte. Promise him to do everything in the best possible way and in a short time, strain your colleagues.


Do not defend your vision for design or functionality, despite the fact that your hair stood on end after reading the task. If the client wants, then it is necessary to do just that. Even if it is a business card site in the form of a scan of a regular business card, where the name and phone are written in five fonts in yellow letters on a blue background. The client’s desire is the law, the client is always right, that’s all.

Take care of your health

Eat constantly at the workplace. Rustles in packs and bags, crumbling the keyboard with crumbs, littered the space under the monitor with bits and pieces. Get office animals - flies. Do you have a dining room? Fine. Take fish, dumplings, cabbage salad, meatballs with you for lunch and forget to close the door.


Be late beautifully

If you are late for work, complain on the way to the general chat about the alarm that went off, the neighbors and their dog, a long kettle, a slow elevator, traffic jams ... And then run noisily into the office and out of breath to attract as much attention as possible to your sufferings.

Formulate correctly

Ask questions without question marks in correspondence. Ignore punctuation marks. Write each word on a new line, and even better - in a separate message. Smear the thought of one task in 10 posts, and even better - in the general chat. Surprise that you do not understand.

Prove that you are funny and sociable

Talk loudly and laugh, joke a lot, constantly drop picchi from Lepra into the general working chat and links to Dvach, Coub and Overheard. Find out about each colleague by at least one fact and, at every opportunity, check the information that has been explored.

Actively attract attention

Got a question? Urgently write to a responsible colleague in a working chat, in the mail, in instant messengers, wave your hands from your workplace, or better immediately, after sending a packet of messages, go to him. It doesn’t matter whether he communicates with the client over the phone, personally, dines or discusses another working issue with his colleagues.

Did you recognize yourself or your “complex” colleagues in any of the points? Dont be upset! There are no ideal people, the main thing is that you are a good person and a specialist. We collected these stories not only in our office (even to say more, we were lucky, and not everything written about us), and therefore we will be happy to read stories about your colleagues in the comments or mail .

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