May 22, 2016 at 22:06Translation of Excerpts from Robert Heinlein's Book, Take Your Government Away - Part 12
Since we touched on the topic of political speeches, we’ll talk about them in more detail. To give a speech is not as difficult as it seems. Here is the basic outline of a performance that you can always use. It is designed for the case when you have to speak in front of a small, unfamiliar audience - this is the most difficult case. It is always more difficult to speak to a small audience. Everyone can successfully speak to a thousand listeners. But until you have earned your name and reputation in politics, you will not be offered to speak at large rallies, and by then you will have already learned to speak perfectly. Until that moment, if you are invited to speak at a large rally, then not as the main speaker, but only as one of the speakers after him. And that means that you’ll have only a couple dozen words, which is only enough to greet the audience (“Good afternoon, the weather is nice today, isn’t it?”), express praise for the “wonderful speech of the keynote speaker”, thanks to “our permanent chairman and organizing committee”, and say that you “ you warmly support the nominee, and you will only vote for him. ” After which you will only have to say “Thank you for your attention” and proceed to your place. Listeners will appreciate your brevity, and your oratory reputation will improve. In November 1926, I attended a large stadium rally in Chicago. So, the vice president of the United States of America spoke for three minutes, the state governor spoke for seven minutes, the mayor of Chicago spoke for ten, and the official in the city park who cares for the football field of this stadium spoke for more than an hour! And all this time his listeners were swept with snow, and the temperature was below zero degrees. Which of the speeches do you think the listeners liked the most?
As your political fame grows, you will begin to be invited as the main speaker for speaking to small audiences. The most difficult form of such speeches is a speech to listeners who are not without a doubt supporters of your party, whom you also pledged not to campaign. For example, these are speeches to members of a church community, or charity organization. At first glance, the task posed by such a speech is impossible: to deliver a political speech without mentioning politics itself. Of the calls for improving the work of the government and eradicating corruption, you cannot concoct full-fledged speech. In addition, both of these topics are too hackneyed.
What to do? Follow my hands: now I will show you the trick. I don’t have any cards in my sleeve, but in my pocket there are a couple of dozen sharpened pencils. Stand up, bow to the chairwoman of the meeting, and say: "Madame Chairwoman, dear ladies, the worst thing about invitations like today is their influence on my waist." Drop your eyes to the waist, and continue: “Asking me to speak after such a dinner is just a crime. In a good way, it would be better to take a nap. But let's get down to business. Quizzes with audience participation are now in great fashion. I don’t see the reason why not to hold them on political topics - it was such an idea that occurred to me yesterday when I was watching a TV quiz, so now we will have a little quiz. ” With these words, get out the pencils.
“In case anyone has nothing to write, here are pencils that you can take. Ladies across from me, could you pass the pencils on to those who need them? Now, let each of you take a piece of paper. ” Do not bring paper with you: it is usually found at everyone, but there are not enough pencils. While everyone is looking for paper, you can get comfortable and look at your listeners. Someone, catching your eyes, will smile. Smile back, making a good impression of a man who loves children and does not forget to visit his mother. Remember the dictum of how to grow piglets?
“Is everyone ready?” Let's start the quiz. Write your name at the top of the sheet. Well, boldly, I will not show your answers to anyone. Nobody will see these sheets except me. At the end of the quiz, I want to name the winners, the reward will be the joy of victory - I am fundamentally against political contests with cash prizes. Finished? And now, the first question: write the name and surname of the President of the United States. ” Pause. "Write the name and surname of the governor of our state." Pause. "Now write the name and surnames of the senators from our state." And so on.
Ask those present to write the names of congressmen from your county, senators and congressmen of the state assembly, elected head of the county government, members of the county government oversight council, elected district judge ... The names of the posts are different everywhere, but the essence is the same - elected posts of the district’s executive and legislative authorities . After that, find out the name of the mayor of the city, members of the municipal council of the city and the city election commission. In general, ask to write the names of elected officials directly representing the interests of the people you are interviewing. Your audience is not responsible for the nominations of officials in the appointed posts, so limit yourself to those whom they have chosen (or against whom they have voted), and therefore should know their names. Next ask whether all are registered at their polling stations, and which of those present voted in the last primary election - primaries. (Voting in the main elections is not an indicator of civic consciousness at all, just as getting up with the sounds of the country's anthem).
Now collect the answer sheets and review them.
If you have not conducted such a survey before, its results will amaze you, and perhaps even discourage you. If you find a leaflet with answers to at least most of the questions, then this is most likely to be the winner of your quiz, which you have the right to call a commendably conscious citizen, especially if she voted at the last primaries. But it is unlikely that any of your listeners will deserve such praise. Most of them will not go further than the names of the president and governor. After them fragmentary answers will follow, half of which will be incorrect. Most often, after the first two names, emptiness will go further.
I remember one venerable lady who believed that Chamberlain (British Prime Minister in 1938) was an American senator. I even met people who do not know who is the president of the United States, although this already borders on dementia, I do not take these people into account in my statistics.
After such results, you can easily make a ten-minute speech about civic consciousness, leading the audience as an example as not the best example of this same consciousness. Point out that if they even went to the polls, they voted for or against the appointment of officials whose names did not bother to remember. And now, in the name of all that is holy, we don’t fear that with such a lack of public control, a gang of corrupt crooks will not come to power, and, thank God, at least some of these officials are honest people, despite the fact that the ladies from the church the community in which you are now speaking do not pay the slightest attention to what is happening in the country that their ancestors bequeathed to them, and for whose freedom their sons perished.
You can call women fighters for emancipation from the grave of the spirits and ask them if this is the gender equality they sought. Remind students that their family budget income tax is higher than family food expenses, and ask if they think it would be wise for congressmen to choose the taxes they pay as carefully as the cucumbers in the store.
In general, the results of the survey will annoy you so much, especially when you recall the hard efforts that you are making to get local voters out of the quagmire of civil unconsciousness that your speech will probably be your first truly good public speech. After all, you are excited and have facts on hand, and from this combination you automatically get a good performance.
Just do not apply your audience too much, resist this temptation. No need to burn the stigma of shame on them with a hot iron. Try to express regret rather than anger, arouse shame in them, and not retaliation against you personally.
Some simple-minded grandmother can say that she never wanted to get voting rights on a par with men. Do not argue with her, but praise her as a worthy woman, and politely tell her that personally she may not exercise her voting right, just as voters in Germany did. That it is enough for her not to register at the polling station, and her good old status as a child, slave, or pet will automatically return to her. This is a very appropriate comparison, just a hundred years ago, women were considered something between the first, second, and third.
Hearing this classification, most women will be outraged. It doesn’t matter how indifferent they are in a civilian sense, but each of them likes to think of themselves as a free citizen. The ladies in your audience were sincerely convinced that they were, until you showed them a mirror with a reflection of their amazed civic physiognomy, and did not remind them of their compatriots who did a lot of good in politics, in some ways even more than men. After all, speaking of a corrupt official, they imagine him in the form of a man, not a woman.
Some thoughtful lady ashamed of your words may ask you what they can do to become good and conscious citizens of their country. If no one asks this question, provoke it, or ask it yourself in a rhetorical way. You are here to get the votes, use the chance to get them, and it doesn’t matter what is on the chairman’s agenda. Do not invite a thoughtful lady to join your political club: you undertook not to engage in political campaigning. Instead, tell the students what I told you in chapter 3, let them take the phone book and begin raising their civic consciousness by calling the local branch of their party. However, write down the name of that thoughtful lady and then find out on the voters list which party she supports. Maybe,
As for the answer sheets, take them home with you. Of these, you will draw, at a minimum, the names of the persons who voted in the primaries. Check their party addictions and add supporters of your party to the file. They should start sending your club a mailing list, one of them may subsequently join the club and become your agitators. These women are not hopeless, they are just bogged down in a hectic way.
(And by the way, after the performance, do not forget to collect the pencils: they will still be useful to you).
The result of the same survey in the male audience will be slightly better, and you can praise several listeners as good citizens worthy of their right to vote. After the same survey conducted at any political meeting, you will receive many leaflets in which there will be the correct answers to all the questions you asked.
The described performance scheme can be applied again and again, year after year, in front of any audience. You don’t need to add anything else to your repertoire until you find something else to talk about, and by then the performances will be quite easy for you. The survey trick can even be used several times in front of the same audience under the pretext of studying the development of their civic consciousness, this technique invariably keeps the attention of the audience, and can always be used to search for potential voters.
Part 1, where there are links to all other parts
As your political fame grows, you will begin to be invited as the main speaker for speaking to small audiences. The most difficult form of such speeches is a speech to listeners who are not without a doubt supporters of your party, whom you also pledged not to campaign. For example, these are speeches to members of a church community, or charity organization. At first glance, the task posed by such a speech is impossible: to deliver a political speech without mentioning politics itself. Of the calls for improving the work of the government and eradicating corruption, you cannot concoct full-fledged speech. In addition, both of these topics are too hackneyed.
What to do? Follow my hands: now I will show you the trick. I don’t have any cards in my sleeve, but in my pocket there are a couple of dozen sharpened pencils. Stand up, bow to the chairwoman of the meeting, and say: "Madame Chairwoman, dear ladies, the worst thing about invitations like today is their influence on my waist." Drop your eyes to the waist, and continue: “Asking me to speak after such a dinner is just a crime. In a good way, it would be better to take a nap. But let's get down to business. Quizzes with audience participation are now in great fashion. I don’t see the reason why not to hold them on political topics - it was such an idea that occurred to me yesterday when I was watching a TV quiz, so now we will have a little quiz. ” With these words, get out the pencils.
“In case anyone has nothing to write, here are pencils that you can take. Ladies across from me, could you pass the pencils on to those who need them? Now, let each of you take a piece of paper. ” Do not bring paper with you: it is usually found at everyone, but there are not enough pencils. While everyone is looking for paper, you can get comfortable and look at your listeners. Someone, catching your eyes, will smile. Smile back, making a good impression of a man who loves children and does not forget to visit his mother. Remember the dictum of how to grow piglets?
“Is everyone ready?” Let's start the quiz. Write your name at the top of the sheet. Well, boldly, I will not show your answers to anyone. Nobody will see these sheets except me. At the end of the quiz, I want to name the winners, the reward will be the joy of victory - I am fundamentally against political contests with cash prizes. Finished? And now, the first question: write the name and surname of the President of the United States. ” Pause. "Write the name and surname of the governor of our state." Pause. "Now write the name and surnames of the senators from our state." And so on.
Ask those present to write the names of congressmen from your county, senators and congressmen of the state assembly, elected head of the county government, members of the county government oversight council, elected district judge ... The names of the posts are different everywhere, but the essence is the same - elected posts of the district’s executive and legislative authorities . After that, find out the name of the mayor of the city, members of the municipal council of the city and the city election commission. In general, ask to write the names of elected officials directly representing the interests of the people you are interviewing. Your audience is not responsible for the nominations of officials in the appointed posts, so limit yourself to those whom they have chosen (or against whom they have voted), and therefore should know their names. Next ask whether all are registered at their polling stations, and which of those present voted in the last primary election - primaries. (Voting in the main elections is not an indicator of civic consciousness at all, just as getting up with the sounds of the country's anthem).
Now collect the answer sheets and review them.
If you have not conducted such a survey before, its results will amaze you, and perhaps even discourage you. If you find a leaflet with answers to at least most of the questions, then this is most likely to be the winner of your quiz, which you have the right to call a commendably conscious citizen, especially if she voted at the last primaries. But it is unlikely that any of your listeners will deserve such praise. Most of them will not go further than the names of the president and governor. After them fragmentary answers will follow, half of which will be incorrect. Most often, after the first two names, emptiness will go further.
I remember one venerable lady who believed that Chamberlain (British Prime Minister in 1938) was an American senator. I even met people who do not know who is the president of the United States, although this already borders on dementia, I do not take these people into account in my statistics.
After such results, you can easily make a ten-minute speech about civic consciousness, leading the audience as an example as not the best example of this same consciousness. Point out that if they even went to the polls, they voted for or against the appointment of officials whose names did not bother to remember. And now, in the name of all that is holy, we don’t fear that with such a lack of public control, a gang of corrupt crooks will not come to power, and, thank God, at least some of these officials are honest people, despite the fact that the ladies from the church the community in which you are now speaking do not pay the slightest attention to what is happening in the country that their ancestors bequeathed to them, and for whose freedom their sons perished.
You can call women fighters for emancipation from the grave of the spirits and ask them if this is the gender equality they sought. Remind students that their family budget income tax is higher than family food expenses, and ask if they think it would be wise for congressmen to choose the taxes they pay as carefully as the cucumbers in the store.
In general, the results of the survey will annoy you so much, especially when you recall the hard efforts that you are making to get local voters out of the quagmire of civil unconsciousness that your speech will probably be your first truly good public speech. After all, you are excited and have facts on hand, and from this combination you automatically get a good performance.
Just do not apply your audience too much, resist this temptation. No need to burn the stigma of shame on them with a hot iron. Try to express regret rather than anger, arouse shame in them, and not retaliation against you personally.
Some simple-minded grandmother can say that she never wanted to get voting rights on a par with men. Do not argue with her, but praise her as a worthy woman, and politely tell her that personally she may not exercise her voting right, just as voters in Germany did. That it is enough for her not to register at the polling station, and her good old status as a child, slave, or pet will automatically return to her. This is a very appropriate comparison, just a hundred years ago, women were considered something between the first, second, and third.
Hearing this classification, most women will be outraged. It doesn’t matter how indifferent they are in a civilian sense, but each of them likes to think of themselves as a free citizen. The ladies in your audience were sincerely convinced that they were, until you showed them a mirror with a reflection of their amazed civic physiognomy, and did not remind them of their compatriots who did a lot of good in politics, in some ways even more than men. After all, speaking of a corrupt official, they imagine him in the form of a man, not a woman.
Some thoughtful lady ashamed of your words may ask you what they can do to become good and conscious citizens of their country. If no one asks this question, provoke it, or ask it yourself in a rhetorical way. You are here to get the votes, use the chance to get them, and it doesn’t matter what is on the chairman’s agenda. Do not invite a thoughtful lady to join your political club: you undertook not to engage in political campaigning. Instead, tell the students what I told you in chapter 3, let them take the phone book and begin raising their civic consciousness by calling the local branch of their party. However, write down the name of that thoughtful lady and then find out on the voters list which party she supports. Maybe,
As for the answer sheets, take them home with you. Of these, you will draw, at a minimum, the names of the persons who voted in the primaries. Check their party addictions and add supporters of your party to the file. They should start sending your club a mailing list, one of them may subsequently join the club and become your agitators. These women are not hopeless, they are just bogged down in a hectic way.
(And by the way, after the performance, do not forget to collect the pencils: they will still be useful to you).
The result of the same survey in the male audience will be slightly better, and you can praise several listeners as good citizens worthy of their right to vote. After the same survey conducted at any political meeting, you will receive many leaflets in which there will be the correct answers to all the questions you asked.
The described performance scheme can be applied again and again, year after year, in front of any audience. You don’t need to add anything else to your repertoire until you find something else to talk about, and by then the performances will be quite easy for you. The survey trick can even be used several times in front of the same audience under the pretext of studying the development of their civic consciousness, this technique invariably keeps the attention of the audience, and can always be used to search for potential voters.
Part 1, where there are links to all other parts