Material Motivation System: Bad Tips

    Usually, well-known measures are taken against idiots so that they, in unreasonable swiftness, do not overturn everything that they meet on their way. But these measures almost always concern only simple idiots; when authority is an appendage to idiocy, then the task of protecting society is much more complicated. In this case, the imminent danger is increased by the total amount of openness, a sacrifice of which, at certain historical moments, seems to be a life given ... Where a simple idiot bows his head or bumps into a rampage, the powerful idiot crushes all sorts of bastards in half and commits his, so to speak, unconscious atrocities are completely unhindered. Even in the very barrenness or obvious harm of these atrocities, he does not draw any teachings for himself. He doesn't care about any results,
    M.E. Saltykov-Shchedrin “The history of one city”

    Actually, in development of the topic covered in the case

    The system of material motivation of personnel (SMMP) is NOT the most important thing for business success. Strategic marketing is, of course, and uncompetitive, in the first place.
    However, among the second-order success factors, there is not a single one whose implementation, on the one hand, would require so little money, effort and time, and would give such a large-scale effect - both in monetary terms and in terms of the duration of the effect.

    The specific rules for constructing a good SMMP are an extensive topic that requires detailed exposition in a special book. Perhaps we will release it in the future. If the hands reach.
    And here, limited by the natural framework of Facebook posting, we will arm ourselves with the “bad advice” strategy and write how to approach the construction of SMMPs in order to do everything as gothic as possible - well, that is, through the ass.
    That is - as usual.

    Again, due to volumetric limitations, the statement below is purely thesis, with little to no discussion and argumentation.

    So, SMMP as usual:
    • in a motivational formula use fewer indicators characterizing the performance of a single person, and more “general” KPIs — the results of a “department”, or even the entire company.

      Like, in order to create team spirit and other collective farm.
      After all, if a cleaner will receive% of the company's profits every six months, then how much it motivates her to clean the floors cleaner!
    • even better is to shift the main share of income to indicators that are not generally related to the actual results of activity of anything.

      For example, the employee will receive the main income from the monthly assessment of the boss.
      And the one who thinks that this approach motivates licking the boss’s butt hole as opposed to working on a business result is a sucker. He doesn’t understand anything in business
    • very good - a subspecies of the previous one, when the assessment is not made by the boss, but by mutual assessment by the employees of each other.

      Blindly. This, without a doubt, does not motivate internal intrigues and gathering swarms of comrades, but to commence dedicated work for the benefit of consumers and shareholders
    • if you still could not overcome yourself, and the main component of the employee’s motivation is based on his personal results, then there is a magic tool for this case - it’s called “planning” .

      Set a plan every month \ quarter from the bulldozer, redo the already approved plans for the second quarter, because in the first they overfulfilled, and reluctance to pay too much.
      What, you say, instead of their work, employees will deal exclusively with bureaucratic fuss around trade according to plans? Will they specifically keep sales within the range of 95-100% of the fulfillment so that they will not be bullied for the next month / quarter? Nonsense! But getting into the plan will be one hundred percent. I’ll fuck that the gross profit lost will be from 30-70% of the actually received, and the net lag will be a multiple (if at all it will be net)
    • a smart, thermonuclear tool based on the previous one - individual plans .

      In addition to the charms of the previous paragraph, you get absolutely free intriguing spider jar and passions worse than in Game of Thrones. Corporate life will be piquant and unconventional.
      Especially for consumers.
    • additional seasoning is a colossal multi-component income calculation formula with a bunch of multiplying coefficients.

      More square roots and logarithms, Karl!
      Let no employee understand what he needs to do to increase his income! Indeed, it is the “fog of war” (C) Clausewitz who motivates the employee in the best way to achieve the goals of the company
    • change motivational formulas more often

      Try to surprise employees with a new salary scheme at least once every six months, optimally every three months. After all, the more often you change your motivation, the more solidity in people's lives and trust in leadership! It is in such conditions that labor enthusiasm flourishes to the heights of the Stakhanov movement.
    • And enter the new salary formulas retroactively

      Just closer to the end of the month, inform that (surprise-surprise!) From the first of its day the salary is considered in a new way. How? Yes x ... he knows until the month ends and there are no “statistics" - it is not clear.
    • Monitor security - the employee should NOT have access to the online calculation of the indicators that make up his income.

      Ideally, deny access to these indicators at all. The result of calculating the same mega-formula with factorials and cotangents should come to him with a single “TOTAL” once a month. Everyone has already counted for him, let him see the figure and rejoice, schmuck.
      Indeed, the favorite topic for gossip in the shirnarmasses “we are being found ... is” is the best ground for nurturing filial confidence in leadership.
    • introduce new motivational schemes quickly, decisively!

      No preliminary discussions! No introductory meetings / newsletters with a detailed explanation of what’s happening and how it will be counted! Sturm und Drang! The relevance of Ugryum-Burcheev is your credo. Well, backdating has already been recommended.
    • at the same time, when the jambs of ill-conceived, uncounted and retrospectively motivated motives become absolutely unbearable for the employees of the staff, having met with organized discontent and an emerging spontaneous strike - immediately, publicly and unconditionally turn back.

      Pitifully and unconvincingly transfer the blame to the switchman (regarding technology we refer to the speeches of the national leader). Show everyone the lack of testicles and the total lack of leadership skills. Trying to appease indignant employees, in addition to rolling back to the old salary scheme, also add money from above.
    • actively and sequentially shove the non-pushable It

      doesn’t matter that for a single position, in principle, there are no comprehensive countable KPIs (fortunately, except for jokes, there are relatively few such positions). Pay artists for running meters, cops for solved crimes, poets for the number of words.

    “Sim conquer.”

    Also popular now: