How to turn off internal criticism and ignore the pursuit of excellence?

Perfectionism or the pursuit of excellence very often does not help us at all, but, on the contrary, binds our hands and oppresses . In this article, Lisa Evans will tell you how to turn off this inner voice, which constantly does not like something.

Nowadays, many are required to do as much as possible in the shortest possible time, to be available 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, and also to constantly increase their workload. It is not surprising that all this develops a sense of perfectionism in us.

Many psychological studies have shown that a constant pursuit of excellence can lead to health problems, including depression, stress., problems in personal relationships and, as a consequence, to low labor productivity. Therefore, it will not hurt us all to take a fresh look at such a habit as perfectionism.

The psychologist and physiotherapist, Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo, author of Better Than Ideal, argues that some aspects of perfectionism can be positive for us. No one will argue that the pursuit of excellence is a good motivation to succeed, and the problem of this habit is the all-or-nothing mentality. “The result can be completely perfect or completely failed. And, if it didn’t work out perfectly, then I’m a loser, ”Dr. Lombardo describes the way of thinking of perfectionists.

You can fight perfectionism only by drowning out the inner voice, constantly criticizing us and telling us about the imperfection of our actions. Lombardo offers four tips to overcome this inner critic:

1. Change your motivation

Although the critic sitting inside us may seem to be some of the driving force that drives us to do more , Lombardo says that the problem with the inner voice is the emanation he emits and the escalation of fear. By changing our motivation, each of us can tune in not to the fact that your failure will be a failure, but, for example, to the desire that, even in this case, you will not only correct your mistakes, but will achieve even more than you intended. And, if you have a positive stimulating effect, then an internal critic will no longer be needed.

2. Learn to recognize your inner critic

Many people don’t even notice the voice inside that they are so used to that they don’t even suspect its existence. Although to notice its influence on us is not so difficult. To do this, you should pay attention, for example, to your behavior when meeting with someone. If at the same time your palms sweat and your stomach is tied in a knot, it is worth considering what exactly causes such emotions.

Positive motivation and self-confidence always leads to better results than fear of failure. Only in this way can you help yourself and drown out your critic.

Does your boss sitting at the table look so unhappy? Or is it still an “internal critic” whispering in your ear that you should be fired for a damaged project? Having learned what is the reason for such thoughts, you can easily take them under control.

3. Think of failure as a source of information.

Any, even the most insignificant mistake can have a paralyzing effect on the perfectionist. He interprets all failures as complete failure. Lombardo advises such people to consider mistakes not a complete failure, but a means of obtaining new information. Thus, having made, for example, a presentation, but not having received well-deserved recognition for this because of the reorientation of the company, you will no longer blame yourself for mistakes and assume that you will never achieve your goals. On the contrary, you can use all the new information so that the next presentation is at its best.

A similar rule is used by journalists in their work. Do not judge the situation in advance, ask and find out, draw conclusions and use all the data obtained in order to move on. Considering failure as an opportunity to gain new information and experience, you can later turn it into a victory.

4. Do not strive for the ideal

Many perfectionists look at the world based on the principle of "all or nothing." If they do not have enough time for classes in the gym, such people may completely stop monitoring their physical condition. Considering that his report is far from perfect, the perfectionist generally refuses to show it to anyone and let his colleagues down. The pursuit of the ideal often leads to postponement of one's work for later and even to its complete disruption. Lombardo urges to overcome such desires, striving not to be completely perfect, but simply to do everything right and well.

Yes, not everybody will be able to devote an entire hour to sports every day. However, everyone is able to walk around their quarter for 15 minutes. The report may also be imperfect, but timely submission of it will be a better option than the final failure of the work. By taking steps in the right direction and celebrating your small victories, you can make your inner voice no longer criticize, but say that you are on the right track.

PS We recommend another article on the topic - Zen of Early Awakenings: 10 ways to consolidate the morning ritual.

Translation by Vyacheslav Davidenko, founder of MBA Consult