Those. no support needed
- Transfer
Recently , a surprising revelation was found at the technical director at the company where Dudley H. works : technical support should never arise. If the client has a question about one of their products, then the problem is probably in the product. Perhaps the UI is slurred. Perhaps a little documentation. Or the instructions are confusing. Regardless of the reason, each client’s problem means that someone - a developer, tester, or helpdesk employee - did a poor job and should try to improve his part.
Naturally, most of the helpdesk lobbied against the revelation of those. directors counterargument that most users are just lazy, stupid or lazy andstupid, and no amount of improvement will change that. Not that their protest affected anything ... Tech. The director has developed and approved a new rule according to which written problem-improvement reports should be prepared on all client issues, and all reports should be sent upstairs. As exemplary workers, Dudley and his helpdesk techies sat down to write these reports.
Soon after reading the first bundle of reports, the technical director found a new revelation: many users are simply lazy, stupid or lazy and stupid, and no amount of improvement will change that.
Naturally, most of the helpdesk lobbied against the revelation of those. directors counterargument that most users are just lazy, stupid or lazy andstupid, and no amount of improvement will change that. Not that their protest affected anything ... Tech. The director has developed and approved a new rule according to which written problem-improvement reports should be prepared on all client issues, and all reports should be sent upstairs. As exemplary workers, Dudley and his helpdesk techies sat down to write these reports.
------------------------------------------------- HANDLING # 88274 ------------------------------------------------- Customer Question: “In your campaign TONIT finally I tried to READ any incrustation Well, you finally give it to do so laugh even after 7 years I RZHU exactly how you got mad like Well you understand me! ” Problem moment: We did not provide the customer with a distorted language manual option without punctuation. Improvement Goal: Many companies completely miss the distorted language market segment without punctuation, and we ?? one of them. It’s important not to forget that not everyone the client will understand "Click the" Submit "button to save the changes", there is those who understand only “click the square to correct the saves SAVE Well, you understand".
------------------------------------------------- HANDLING # 88279 ------------------------------------------------- Customer Question: “I understand that the problems are on our side, but you could at least try to amuse me while I complained to you! THAT'S WHAT IT IS - SUPPORT!!!" Problem moment: Our technician didn’t amuse the client enough complained about a reason not related to our company. Improvement Goal: Instead of professionalism and courtesy, a technician should to know that the client was upset before making a call, so the call you need to answer in a funny squeaky tone and dilute the conversation with circus musical interludes.
------------------------------------------------- HANDLING # 88304 ------------------------------------------------- Customer Question: “I have ANOTHER problem with my Hotmail account. At least tell them write me if they care, and tell me to fix it. Mozht Tech Support lost him? can they need turpentine or something to rinse them well # @ ^? Didn’t I say that NA should not be a typo? that's enough for me!" Problem moment: Our technical specialist could not solve the problem with the product of another companies, more precisely with Microsoft Hotmail. Improvement Goal: Although our specialists do not work for Microsoft, they should were prudent to work there for several years, become experts, before taking a vacancy in our company. Our techies are swinging and that's it.
------------------------------------------------- HANDLING # 88311 ------------------------------------------------- Customer Question: “I read on the website that there was a gap in your pragram in security. (gives a link to the site). Cada you plan to eliminate it, because without this I refuse to use it. " Problem moment: The technician suggested that the client read the following a message in a note on the site saying that the security hole closed less than two days after being discovered ... three years ago. Improvement Goal: Start each letter, support response, and telephone conversation with ora: “WELCOME TO (COMPANY) WHERE WE CORRECTED A SMALL BREAK IN SAFETY A FEW YEARS BACK! ”
------------------------------------------------- HANDLING # 88318 ------------------------------------------------- Customer Question: “You become what you were” (This is the full text of the letter from the client) Problem moment: Although it is unclear whether this is a complaint or not, it’s clear that a technical specialist is “becoming” in some way different, than he was at some point in the past. Improvement Goal: Every technician should be more careful about "Becoming" and be sure that it will not change. In this case, the client will potentially thank him for “you are becoming just like now. ” And this gratitude will give promotion.
------------------------------------------------- HANDLING # 88334 ------------------------------------------------- Customer Question: “You're wrong, check with Bob Williams. I talked to him on last week, and his answer contradicted what you say now". Problem moment: Although Bob Williams has not been with our company for two and a half years, names must be entered in the memory of the technician, addresses and phone numbers of all past employees of the company. what will allow him to call Bob while the client is waiting on line. However, if Bob does not work for the company due to death, specialist should appeal to the transcendental forces of existential tissue existing - which he had to master in the first week of training, - to get in touch with Bob in another dimension. Improvement Goal: Move back in time and talk with Bob one on one, regarding the conflicting information that he fed customers. Then mercilessly disrupt.
Soon after reading the first bundle of reports, the technical director found a new revelation: many users are simply lazy, stupid or lazy and stupid, and no amount of improvement will change that.