Finding zina

- Quiet! Quiet! - shouted the chairman, running along the narrow, broken, but asphalted central street of the village of Makarovo. - Yes, calm down you! Mikhalych has arrived!

But the crowd continued to fumble. Mass gatherings rarely took place in the village, and the people openly missed them. Even Village Day, previously held on such a grand scale, has long sunk into oblivion. Although, is it possible to call an event “in a big way” in a village with one thousand inhabitants?

Suddenly, on the road near the crowd, the K-700, the once famous yellow Kirovets, with wheels in human height, sharply braked. So sharply that he hesitantly swayed on the powerful front springs, pecking his nose. The cabin door opened, and a small old man appeared in it, in a gray jacket, comfortable sweatpants with three stripes on each side, galoshes with a wool lining and an old and oily cap. The hollow cheeks covered with gray bristles, bushy eyebrows hang over the eyes, but the gaze of slightly narrowed eyes is firm and confident.

- Did you find Zina? - shouted a bass voice from the crowd.

- Yeah. - the grandfather turned and shouted, already going down the stairs. - Right now I'll tell you everything, let me catch my breath, Kolyun drove under fifty.

“So I am this ...” the same Kolyunya, the tractor driver, leaned out of the cab from the opposite side. - The people have already gathered, look at the city and move, wait for trouble then ...

Mikhalych was already standing on the pavement and lighting a cigarette. Hands shook a little, but a long-standing habit made itself felt - it turned out from the first match, despite the wind. The crowd approached a bit, forming a semblance of semicircle, in the center of which was Mikhalych and K-700. Kolyunya wanted to drive off, but the children were already hanging on wheels, and there was no choice but to turn off the engine.

- Well, tell me, don’t languish! - The chairman put her hand on Mikhalych’s shoulder and shook lightly. - Where is Zina? When will he be back?

Mikhalych took a deep breath, took a couple more puffs, threw a long cigarette butt to the ground and carefully rubbed his foot. By his mind, it was already clear whether Zina would return.

- Will not come back. - shortly said Mikhalych and fell silent.

The crowd became unusually quiet. The views, formerly fixed on Mikhalych, turned to the ground, a tractor, an old general storehouse, a row of stalls, in the back of the head in front of him. Nobody wanted to believe.

“Wait, Mikhalych ...” the chairman took a step back and looked intently at his grandfather. - Tell me how it was ...

- Yes, Mikhalych, come on, tell me, don’t languish! - shouted from the crowd. - What is she doing there, in the city? In medicine, or what?

- In medicine, yeah. - Mikhalych nodded and reached for the next cigarette. - Now I will tell.

So, I came to the city. Where to look - the devil knows, but a little pondered - where else can the village doctor go if not to the hospital? It’s not a manager, is it? (Mikhalych said precisely the “manager", and not the usual "manager" for us).

Well, I think we need to go to clinics. He started with the district - after all, Zina from the district? I came, so I go, I look - I can not find. They have it there, the poster is hanging, sort of like our doctors - there isn’t there either. While a nurse stood, examined, a nurse came up - so young, beautiful, in full, which means, war paint. He says - what are you looking at, grandfather? A poster has been hanging for about ten years, just as they hung it before the arrival of the governor, we just dust it and wipe it for the New Year.

And what, I ask, dear, didn’t your doctor appear here? Zina’s name is. He says - no, it hasn’t been there for a long time, I would know - I’m sitting on the schedule. And so he left, not sipping slumber.

Then he came across a city hospital. I thought I would also stand at the poster, maybe someone would come up and help.

- You’ll get horseradish from the city. Came the voice of Kolyuni from above. “If you die, they won’t do, even cheat your pockets.”

- You say it right. - nodded Mikhalych. - There’s no poster either - the TV is hanging, with the schedule, that means. And as luck would have it, I left my glasses at home - I only put them on for the newspaper. So he stood, peered, until some grandmother came up. A friend, I say, help me - I don’t see a zig, read me the names of the doctors. Well, she read - Zina is not there.

And what, I ask, are all the doctors here? No, he says, only those that are accepted today. I gave advice - go to the help window, everyone knows there. Only this, immediately tune in, they say - they will be rude. Well, I say, should I be afraid of swearing? And went.

He stood in line for half an hour - there were three of us there, but the nurse in the window rode off somewhere, a goat. When she returned, he asked if she had a Zina doctor here, honey. She went to yell about some Persians there ... Persons ...

- Personal data? - prompted the chairman.

- Yeah, there you go! - rejoiced Mikhalych. - I won’t say, he says, at least you crack! I was about to give up, but decided to lie - dear, I say, Zina is my daughter, I just lost her phone, so I came to see her, she said that she’s been working in the hospital, I’ve been running for two days, I can’t find it. But this goat is in no way.

I went outside, sat on a bench, lit a cigarette. Then a peasant runs up, in black uniform, with a patch - like a security guard, or something. And bravo, I got hooked in my ear - smoking, they say, is impossible here, grandfather, now you will pay a fine. I could not stand it, jumped up, yelled at him - what, they say, you, kid, have dug into the old man? Is there nothing more to do? You go, work with me, put your back on the country, which then will not even remember your name, then you will teach me!

He blushed already, began to choke - the devil would understand him, either with fear, or right now he would clean his face. He grabbed me by the jacket, and when he yanked, I jumped as much. I almost tore off my sleeve, Herod. And this one seized, does not let go, shakes the sleeve. Well right now, says grandfather, the end will come to you. Prepare a pension, tighten the fine, or sushi crackers - you will go to the street of revenge. Well, I think Mihalych disappeared.

- So I would have given it to the melon, and the thing with the end! - shouted someone from the crowd. - If he works as a security guard in the hospital, so stingy, that means, utterly!

- Well, I thought so! - continued Mikhalych. “What am I doing in vain in the intelligence?” Though shell-shocked, I’m not going to make some kind of fat-assed one? Yes, I translated them into the forty-third herd across the front, tying them in a chain like camels!

Well, only I, then, got used to dropping into his ear, shouting from behind - wait! The guard turned around, let me go - he was scared, that means. I look - that goat is running from the help window. Looks like conscience is stuck. And to the same place, to lie, as I had done lately - go, says, Seryozha, patrol further, this is my grandfather, from the village, he is dumb, do not be angry.

But this stump does not appease - no, he says, the law is the same for everyone, they have come here, you are setting your rules. Note grandfather how to give a drink. And I do not care that he is your relative.

Well, of course, do not care - says the girl. You do not care at all, like everyone else - at you. Pointless you, says, a piece of something there (honestly, did not hear). There is a hospital, doctors, people walk around, what the hell are you doing here, henchman? You shy from morning till night, you don’t let momma drag strollers inside - it’s not supposed to, because they get wet in the rain. You yourself don’t get wet, you hide inside so that your fat body is not wet.

In general, the girl broke up. The guard was shaking all over, he began to walk towards her, raise his hands - here, I see, the old habit worked. I did not have time to figure it out, as he moved it in his ear, and managed to pick it up until the body slammed into the ground for some reason - well, as the languages ​​were taken, it was silent. He put it on a bench, pulled a cap over his face - he’s sleeping as if.

And the girl is standing, smiling, not scared - well done. Well, you give, I say. You're lying and you aren’t blushing. And you’re not afraid - go and wake up, run to complain? No, he doesn’t run. He’s only brave with the elderly, and with the nurses, until they send him. Don’t be afraid, grandfather, everything will be fine.

She smiles, so she sat next to him and whispers slowly. What whispers - I can not understand. He asked to speak louder - repeated. No, he says, we have no Zina, I checked it on the computer. Go, says grandfather, to the district, maybe there. Well, I tell her - I was, daughter, in the district, Zina is not there.

The girl became thoughtful, got out the phone, let's pick it there. I thought I’ll call where she will, maybe in the fool, so they take me - but no, she has some kind of card there, on the phone. I asked who Zina was by specialization - I say, a village doctor, he treated the whole village, from all diseases, even cut us, and torn his teeth. She still thought, and said - well, since neither in the district nor in the city is there, then it means that it is paid.

Now, I say, I’ll teach you. You there, grandfather, do not think about asking about your Zina. They don’t like the elderly at all - you don’t have any money, if you come to a paid hospital, then there’s some kind of nonsense. Say you want to be treated. Do you have money?

Two thousand, I say, gathered up the whole village for a trip. The girl was leavened and thoughtful. Suddenly she jumped up and said - sit down, I am now, and fled to the hospital again. I again lit a cigarette - what the hell, is there no second guard here? And this one sits, sniffs, even began to snore, drooling started. I wiped it off with my evo hat so that no one would notice - they would think that it had become bad, they would call the doctors.

The girl was gone with a quarter of an hour. Soon this little-cold-headed one should wake up - it would be necessary to reel the fishing rods, but, thank God, he ran out, with a piece of paper. She approached, sat down, slipped it quietly into her jacket pocket, said - this, grandfather, is a special direction. Give them in a paid, you say that from the clinic, they will read and understand. It seems like we treated you here, but didn’t understand what you were sick with, and we sent you to a paid one, and we would pay for the treatment. It’s the main thing for them - that someone pays. Just do not shout too much - say that you need an examination first, and treatment - only by agreement. Let them first write what they appointed, and, they say, you will think and decide. Got it

Got it, I’m saying. Wow, what a good one I got. And he smiles again - oh, sorry, old me, such beauty disappears ... Well, I thanked him, hugged goodbye, and went. She stopped - how long does he say this one will sit? Another fifteen minutes, and wakes up. Baska buzzes a little, but nothing. Go, will not complain? The girl smiled - don’t be afraid, grandfather, will be ashamed, because the old man, forgive me, gave something in his ear. Will be silent, like a fish on ice.

I reached, therefore, a paid clinic - it was across the road. Looks like they’ve got closer — so that anyone who is tormented to sit in line will run to them. I go in - how I got into space! The walls are white, they are already shiny, sofas are everywhere, palm trees are growing, current is not poured vodka. He went up to the girl, she looked somehow suspiciously - go, thinks, was mistaken by the door.

But I sat down, crossed my legs, took a piece of paper from my pocket, and slapped it on the table. She took it fastidiously, with two fingers, ran her eyes - and foolishness somehow vanished!

Hello, says Thomas Kuzmich! At first I was confused - why did she call me Thomas, I am Nicephorus. Only he documented it - the nurse didn’t know my name when she filled out the paper. Well, I think now the passport will ask, and the last intelligence operation of old Mikhalych will fail!

No, I didn’t ask. She ordered me to wait a minute, I took the phone, called somewhere, and soon a peasant rode up - fat, but polished, in a suit, so when wearing a tie, his shoes glisten. Come along, says Thomas Kuzmich.

Well, I got up, let's go. They came to the office, and there - no couches for you, no scales, no cabinet with pills. There is an oak table, leather chairs, carpets on the floor. I looked at my galoshes, it became so embarrassing. He took it off slowly and left it at the entrance. A man sat at the table, I sat down opposite.

Well, he says, with what have you come? But I’m looking around, I just can’t understand - is he a doctor or who? I think - I’ll ask in the forehead. What, I say, specialty you, dear?

He did not blink an eye - I, says the manager. I frowned - what, I say, are you talking to me then? I need a doctor. Come on, take me to the doctor. You are a manager, I am a tractor driver, what kind of sores should we talk to you about?

And he laughs, he already pours in - you see, I said something utterly utter nonsense. You, grandfather, say, have you been in a paid hospital for a long time? No, I’m answering, for the first time, I got nasty Well, says the manager, then listen. Right now we have different orders here - first we need to talk with the manager, and only then with the doctors. And most likely, doctors will not have to. I myself, says, I’ll talk with them, I will pick you the right specialist - on the head there, or stomach, or nerves - we have all sorts.

Then it dawned on me: I see, the manager was a substitute for a therapist. Well, in the district it used to be. Whatever it hurts, going to the therapist will already redirect. Like, where are you from, old grunt, you may know you need a neurologist, or a proctologist, if it hurts you just below your back when you sit down in the saddle.

I ask directly - are you a therapist? Laughs again - the grandfather says that it hurts a lot of questions, you ask, spies, or what? I stole a fool - they say, where to me, I’m just old, I haven’t been to hospitals for a long time, I don’t know how everything works here. To the doctor would be me.

He had already begun to freak out - he was tired of laughing. Come on, say, tell me what hurts you. And I’m throwing you a treatment plan, procedures, tests, examinations. And the doctors will do what I write.

I do not give up - how do you say I write a treatment plan if you are not a doctor? Something in your managerial vocational school is taught, what pills to treat? He already began to twitch - he says, they teach everything there. Manager - he, like, wagon. No matter where you put it, you’ll get on your feet like a cat. It is necessary - the treatment plan will be. It’s necessary - the project projekt leaves. Sew - write functional requirements. Such a booze will go - and make an approximate estimate for the construction of the cosmodrome.

Now, he says, everywhere. The manager removes the task, then transfers it to specialists. And they do it. Well, they can do it too, of course, if the whole nonsense is written - the manager will correct it. This, they say, is called a flexible approach. Like worms or something?

So come on, grandfather, don’t scrub my brains anymore - tell me what you’re sick about. I thought, and decided - I’ll start small, I want to understand what they have here. I cough, I say. The manager wrote something down, looks at me again. I am silent. Does he say all? All - I answer.

He sighed heavily, thought a little, got up and went to the door - not the one through which they had entered, but on the other side. He stopped at the door, he said - feel at home, Thomas Kuzmich, if you want to drink - there is water in the flicker. And he went out.

And I followed him, with the mouse, with the mouse. He looked out - he was walking along the corridor, he did not look back. He stopped through two doors and entered the one on the right. I ran up, I looked - it says “Ordination”. And next to it is a sofa, and a can of water, inserted into the faucet from above - well, just like we have street washbasins. Only it is necessary not to press from below, but to press in front, so that water flows.

I sat down, and I listen - there they laugh, like horses, in a staff room. Senya, they say you're a moron. What does coughing mean? Well, dry cough, or wet? In the morning, or before bedtime, or at night wakes up? With blood, or snot just fly out? Senya is babbling something, saying that there is a cough and there is a cough, and they are neighing even harder - they say that if the grandfather is old, then go ahead and cough up the last, and then you’ll bog down our brains. Senya kind of asked what to appoint, someone vocal answers him - go, appoint a tomography, you’re a brilliant seller with us, just to get the commission. Especially if the clinic is busy.

Well, I think we need to return to the starting position - I ran into the office, closed the door, sat down and sat. Senya arrives - his cheeks are reddened, his eyes are running, he sat down in an armchair, catch his breath. He says - a couple of questions came from experts to clarify my diagnosis. Cough - dry or wet? And everyone, I say, is wet in the morning and dry in the evening. Senya asked about blood - no, I say, there wasn’t such a spawn.

Senya wrote something down, was silent for a while, and gives out: well, that’s it, Thomas Kuzmich, I figured out a treatment plan. You need a tomography, a complete blood count, an ultrasound of the heart, kidneys and bladder, an x-ray of the teeth, a biopsy, and vitamins, he says, I'll write it right away. My jaw had already fallen off - fortunately, it’s still its own, otherwise it would have been inconvenient.

I say, my dear, who are you holding me for? Although I’m old, I know how to cough. There, tablets from him for twenty rubles are sold. Then Senya suffered ...

Here, he says, everyone thinks so that they know better how to treat sores. They start with a cough, but they do not ask sensible specialists, and reach the point that they cannot take a step. It is not necessary, he says, to save on health. Listen to sensible experts, and if they say that you need an MRI and vitamins, then do not blather, they say, but pay and do it.

I do not give up - you, I say, Senya, excuse me, but let me at least talk to the doctors! After all, you’re not a sore tooth in sores! Even I know more! Do you want me to say, I’ll show you where to press the carotid artery so that you overslept for half an hour? Senya, I see, got a little dumbfounded, or decided not to get involved - okay, he says, I’ll ask you again. And you, grandfather, specify something about your cough.

I wondered for a moment what this would be said, and then it came to pass - I must say so that if Zina was there, I would understand. I thought, thought, and I say - Senya, tell them that I am coughing, as if I swallowed the shihabarka. What, asks again? Shishabarku, I speak and nod. Doctors supposedly understand. He shrugged his plump shoulders, and again went to the ward room, and I followed him.

Sat, sat - don't laugh this time. So I didn’t hear anything, even missed the return of the Senya - I had to quickly grab a glass, and as if to pour water. He stood over me, and asked - listen, grandfather, but you're not from Makarovo, by any chance? I nod, they say, yes.

Come on, says. Then one of the experts wants to talk with you. Well, I already knew that. Zina, of course.

He brought me to a normal, medical office, as I saw Zina, I started to smile so hard that I almost broke my mouth. But he didn’t show his mind - he went in, sat down, and was silent. And Senya sat next to him. Zina looks at me, smiles softly, then when she barks at Senya - why did he sit down? Get out from here! He began to argue that he was my manager, and you can’t talk to me without him, so she quickly tamed him - medical secret, he says, no one has canceled yet. Senya could not find anything to argue with, and dumped.

Well, hugged, as expected. Only sad she, some. We sat down, talking. She left, she says, because she’s tired. They are few in the village - there is no hospital there, it has been working almost on a voluntary basis, and for almost forty years now. Marry not marry - for whom, in the village? There is one drunkard, and whoever doesn’t drink, everyone is busy.

For a long time, she said, she thought. I wanted to consult with the people, but did not dare - I knew that they would persuade, and she succumbed. Therefore, she left at night, on the way, she immediately changed the phone so that they would not start calling.

I let a tear go - Zina, I say, are we like without you? What shall we do? In the city, or something, a ride? So here you see how everything is - you can’t wait in the clinic, you will die while they are accepted. And in the paid one, the manager, you’ll give the pay for the year to heal the boil. And you, Zina, will sing calendula, and in two days everything will pass. Who in the city knows about calendula?

Then Zina burst into tears. I got up, locked the door with a key - to see that Senya would not burst. Understand me, says Mikhalych. Well, I can’t take it anymore! I understand everything, all of you are well in the village, you like it there, you are at work, you have roots there, and who do I have? Nobody. As I arrived, once, by stupidity, still by distribution, I thought - the village, the air, the people are good. Well, suppose people are good, and they treat me like in my own, and the air is alive. Is that all?

After all, I have acquaintances, from the institute of medicine - they are all in the city, half a day in the clinic, so as not to lose touch, and write dissertations there, and half a day - in the paid one, where they inflict many times more. Everyone with apartments, with cars, travels regularly to the sea. And those in the north, so two hundred thousand have long been a month. I already choked - the whole village doesn’t get so much from us.

I want, he says, to live normally, humanly. Finally, as they say. I really stopped arguing with her - I started to understand, sort of. I say - what do you get here? Zina smiled, waved her hand, laughs - do not be afraid, Mikhalych, where ours did not disappear.

They say that they appointed me the chief diagnostician. This, therefore, means that I can sore faster and better than anyone else. Well, of course - in the village I had to do everything by eye, at least a cold, at least a fracture, at least an inversion of intestines. So I got the hang of it, that analyzes are not needed, especially since there is no way to take them.

At first I was worried - here, go and see what it is? There are tomography, ultrasound, specialties - and I'm just a doctor. When hiring, she couldn’t even really name the specialty - she called herself a therapist, as in a diploma. And how the patients went, I immediately put the diagnosis, even according to the description that Senya brings.

Then I could not resist - asked what kind of Senya. He says that this is complete nonsense, they’ve recently come up with. The director of theirs somewhere went to Moscow, heard a lot there, and decided that the appointment with the doctor immediately was the last century. Like, a doctor - he is like a child. A man with a cough will come to him, the doctor will prescribe pills and send with God. The patient will only make a reception, he won’t even buy pills - it’s expensive with us. Here are sales and almost none - the director said "we are just selling our time." But it’s necessary, like, to sell more.

And he came up with - to plant a manager. That person is sensible, he will not sell only what is needed - he will certainly boil, as he said, related products. It means that he called programmers and marketers, they put some kind of program, and they wanted to force us to drive in all the assignments, for all the years - in order to understand who could get what.

Of course, we got enraged, threatened that we would leave - it cost, we hired students from honey, they almost pounded everything for bread. These marketers pondered, and made us signs - Zina got it and showed it. There, it means, a sore wrote, and it is listed what you can add to it.

And there are separate scarecrow cards, even doctors forced them to learn. Like, if you have a cough, then you need to tell all the diseases in which this cough happens. Both the cancer and the heart, they say, according to recent studies, can cause a cough. And most importantly - to sell tomography to everyone, as the latest and best achievement of world medicine. In general, Zina said that it’s really useful, she can find sores herself, but it’s painfully expensive. And the director needs money to be returned for the apparatus, and so he is trying.

But it didn’t work, with the doctors. Well, they can not appoint a tomography if a person has a cut on his finger festering or a rash from a strawberry on his face. So the patients were separated from the doctors, the managers were appointed. Senya - sort of like the best. Previously, they say, he worked with programmers, he knows this matter - there is the same misfortune there. A good programmer, they say, as a doctor, knows the treatment faster than a person tells what happened to him. That heals, cheaply, and the office has almost no benefit.

On the other hand, Zina says, it's even easier. Many doctors began to grow dull in front of our eyes, and new ones from the institute rejoiced like children. Think no more, just do it. The manager appointed the dropper to put - be kind, do not ask questions, smile and stick a needle. Some doctors even forgot how to diagnose, and at least something to understand in the treatment. Soon they will become like nurses - from birth they worked like that.

Well, many went specialization. If before the doctor was, there was a surgeon, so he was a surgeon. And he could cut, and set the bones, and determine the appendicitis, and heal the hernia without a scalpel. And now - they almost write him a piece of paper, where and what needs to be cut, how to sew it up, and what needs to be washed inside, or what kind of appliance to insert. Well, it’s like the workers in the workshop that they work on the assembly line — they don’t use the brain at all. So, what is rotten, the brain shuts down quickly when it’s not that the medical history - you don’t even see the whole patient. Only the plot in which the manager bumped you with his nose.

I am again for my own - they say, if it’s so bad, come on to us again! Well, we’ll come up with something with money. I’ll talk with the chairman, maybe he will knock out a bigger pay for you, or there, I don’t know how they will supplement the village doctor. No, not at all.

Zina says she’ll do some more work and wants to open her own hospital. Will start from one office, she will accept. He says that you are not the only one, Mikhalych, who does not like the local order. Many patients complain that they can’t reach the doctors, and they give money as if they were repairing an engine. It's easier to lie down and die.

She found, she says, among the like-minded doctors - those who are older, still remember the Hippocratic oath, and some unforgettable feeling there - well, when the patient, having learned that it is only necessary to drink pills, smiles as sincerely as, probably, only in childhood smiled when he found a gift under the tree. This, Zina says, cannot be replaced with any money.

Then I interrupted again - Zina, they say, we smile at you in the village, you will get tired of being surprised! Not amenable to. Again I let a tear - I can’t, that's all. I want to earn money and help people, but at least kill me.

Then I realized - Zina, I’m saying, or maybe we’ll go to see you for treatment? Well, when you open your office. Or maybe you are with us? Once a week there, or what? A?

Looks like she didn’t think about it - her eyes immediately dried up, smiled, nodded. Exactly, says Mikhalych! What I did not think! Only this ... I'm going to heal for money, but in your village ...

Oh, I say, do not be afraid! Well, now you’re urban, you have neither your potatoes, nor meat, nor greenfoods, even nowhere to take mash! So we will provide you, Zinul - you know us, we have the freshest, without chemistry, from the garden! There is no money, so at least feed you, to the dump! Still for sale will remain.

No, he says, thank you here - I'm a doctor, not a trader. But thinking is good. Especially, if we provide transport, we will bring it from the city, treat it for a day, and leave with the hotels. I swore that I’ll organize everything. They decided on that.

We sat a little longer, recalled the old, drank a seagull. Well, he says, you, Mikhalych, came up with something about shishabark. I immediately realized that someone was from Makarovo, and certainly to me. Where else is the money for a paid hospital?

- Well, then you know. - finished the story Mikhalych. He took out another cigarette, lit it, and with a sense of accomplishment he stared at the clouds floating over the village.

“Well, you, Mikhalych, a shishabark ...” the chairman said with a smile. “Will you come to my deputy?” Would we still have to repair the bridge, agree to go, take a trip to the city, then?

- God spare. - Mikhalych crossed picturesquely. - Enough with me. The last time he saved his homeland.

- Well done! Well done, Mikhalych! Wow! - there were screams from the crowd. - With me a score! I'm the first to Zina!

But Mikhalych was no longer listening. Slowly made his way past Kirovets, and strode home.