Provincial bonfire or birth of a nation

Prologue


Call the fire brigade! Only they can put out the fire under his ass.


Year 1996


America celebrates Independence Day. In honor of this, Will Smith saves the planet from alien attacks using a computer virus. I’m saving the planet by coordinating fighters equipped with laser cannons. Alas, salvation is not in the film, but in the game UFO: Enemy Unknown. At this moment, I understand that I want to work in IT. But not because of the interest in the laser gun device or the coolness of computer viruses. All because of another computer game - Leisure Suit Larry. In the same game there are cartoons and boobs! What else is needed for a normal growing up boy? Only one thing - that Mom wouldn’t find a game. And that would not be found - it must be hidden. So I found out what MS-DOS and Windows are.


Year 1999


The Wachowski brothers talked about the matrix, and Bomfunk MC's recorded the single Freestyler. The city’s floor wears dark glasses singing “poppy crab cancer” and dreaming of escaping from the matrix. I didn’t want to get out of the matrix. I wanted to organize a computer network in a neighboring house and understand how the magic letters IPX / SPX and TCP / IP differ. So I learned Linux and network stack.


Year 2004


Will Smith saves humanity again, but about robots. I go to college for electricity. In the electric power industry, there are no robots, no computer networks, much less boobs. Motivation at zero. I am not a robot, I have dreams. Deduction. So I found out how easy it is to disappoint a family.


Year 2005


They lied to us! Bruce Wayne is not a millionaire and Batman. Batman is Christian Bale. It is resolved. I will become Batman for the IT of our city. I will help everyone who lights the beta signal in the form of a blue screen of death. So I learned about outsourcing.


Year 2007


Optimus Prime and Megatron landed on the ground. The planet is in danger! Where the hell is Will Smith? Who will save humanity from extinction? Well, certainly not me. How can you go to save the world when you have a real Cisco switch in your hands, and a real HP server lies next to the box? So I learned about career advancement.


Year 2009


The Internet is full of jokes about blue giants. Many males are tracked down in the club of females to attach their workshop. But I do not care. I am now an engineer. So I found out that my family wanted me to become an engineer. After all, they grew up in the USSR, and in the Soviet Union the word engineer sounded proudly.


Year 2011


First time interview immediately with the IT Director. Rumor has it that at first it was only him and his great program, and then business appeared around all this. I wish I had a NZT pill right now to get to know all areas of darkness and it would not be scary. And so we met - two ordinary people with the same set of limbs. His first question is - do I know C
++? My first question is what is their RTO? The answers of both are like mooing of cows. I have been accepted. But why is everything simple? Soon I understand - any jamb um = my jamb. It doesn’t matter that programmers updated the back-end from their laptop via wifi. The programmer cannot make a mistake, and the program is perfect. This is all a dumb admin, he does not understand anything in this life. The shoots of the administrator (well, those from the shoulders) needed to grow in the pelvic area. So I found out what gray hair is.


Year 2013


This is all because I am in the commercial trading business. In serious offices everyone respects each other. And what could be more serious than banks? Only not banks on Wall Street (there are many wolves), but local small banks. And now I walk in a suit. I am being addressed to you. My opinions are heard, but why so boring? A lot of bureaucracy, no change, no innovation. Gasping for breath. So I learned about burnout.


Year 2014


The brink of the future is blurred. I drink tea for half a day; I look for another job for half a day. Bingo! It’s also a bank, but federal and with tough tasks for merging branches. I'm going through an interview and getting an offer. From the very first week, he blocked the work on projects. Check and check, routine! Strong involvement makes itself felt - I almost live at work (the difference with MSC + 7). Projects are completed, and a reward letter on the reduction of my rate. So I found out how a girl feels when breaking up with her via SMS.


Year 2015


Frustrated and crushed. Again in the retail. There is no team, each for himself. The head cannot distinguish a flash drive from sfp. Accident after accident. I take everything into my own hands. A lot of informal communication with the team, a lot of exchange of experience. Timlid imitation game won. I am the new head of infrastructure. Well, now I will teach everyone to live and take revenge on everyone. And for harmful marketers, who cannot make layouts for the site, and for programmers who like to optimize their code with the phrases “the server needs to add percent and memory and SSDs”, and accountants with their clumsy accounting for IT assets in 1C. My fervor was quickly cooled by a call to the IT director. My hemispheres have never had such passionate sex. I learned a lot of new things, and that marketers are great - they earn money, and that programmers are the lights of our company and the director himself is a former programmer (deja vu or something),


Okay. Challenge accepted. Change of wardrobe. Change of library. Obtaining a red profile diploma of higher education. More conferences and meetings - less communication with the team. More mentoring and consultation - less technical “hands-on” work. The team is united and trained. All projects and facilities are delivered on time. So I became a manager.


Year 2018


My vein is hungry. He can build data centers in fields where there is nobody except gophers. He wants to immerse himself in digital transformation. He requires digital for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. So I went to St. Petersburg.


Year 1915


D.W. Griffith is releasing the film "Birth of a Nation." Many in the course of watching the film left the hall. The film is so impressive that the protests of both the “black” and “white” populations begin.


So after moving I have a very strong impression, only I can’t leave the hall.
Why can not I leave the hall? Because I am so self-confident in my abilities that I sold everything in the last city, took a mortgage and bought a house in St. Petersburg. And I'm still self-confident.


I’ve been unable to find a job for 5 months now :)


The flame of the fire appeared at the time of the search - only programmers are needed here.


I went through several interviews (both technical and managerial) and everywhere were interested in my programming skills. When I asked why the head of the department responsible for the data center should know 1C programming or GO, they looked at me through the eyes of an owl.


After this interview, the bonfire allowed me to cook bacon and eggs on it.


I will not focus on HR in general. Perhaps I will someday decide on another article, and it will be devoted to HR. Now about something else. So I submitted my CV in November, in January I was invited. Good interviews. The position of the "playing coach." Feedback that I liked, but they’ll see more candidates by the end of January. Extended until the end of February. Now until the end of March.


I am writing to a friend. Please send his CV to this company. For a week he went through an interview, received an offer and the achievement “I am a cool dude”. Guess who he is? Programmer.
He turned off the heating - the whole family is warming around the fire.


A distinctive feature of Western vacancies for me was the presence of a requirement for conversational level English. And it doesn’t matter what kind of company and profession. I can not understand this is a tribute to fashion or a necessity? I decided to check. Made a "fake" cv technical specialist. Sent to similar companies. I go through a telephone interview, comes to a conversation in English, and I honestly admit that the level is bad. The result is a failure. We make a "fake" cv programmer. We send it to those companies where they sent the linden of a techie. Results - we get more resumes. The lack of spoken English confuses few people.
We live with our neighbors - a fire burned a hole in the ceiling for them.


I seem to be on the right track. This is already 4 interviews and it is with the owners. Prior to this, the financial and personnel directors, as well as a conversation with the former colonel of the Ministry of Internal Affairs (oh, what am I talking about, the former do not exist) were examined. We talk for 3 hours, we discussed everything from spaceships to staff reductions. Already on you. And then this phrase “What about your programming?”
Here he is my Lynch court. They never called me back.


The bonfire has enough energy to heat the entire house and underground parking.


At what point did the birth of a nation happen? Nation of programmers. I thought, and still think so, that in the city where I grew up, programmers are more valuable, since there was nothing at all. But that was before, but now I climbed onto the Internet and found a solution to any problem. Now any monkey can compile a piece of code or install an OS. And before you throw this monkey into me, think about the fact that I took the simplest examples. Not every monkey will write an application or a suitable program, and not every monkey will build you a normal infrastructure for the back-end of this program / application. These tasks can only be done by experienced primates.


The template is still torn. Why should the supervisor or engineer program. No, well, if you are the head of programmers or there DevOps in it startup, then of course you need. And if you are a pure integrator, why do you need this kung fu?


There is not a single article about how someone quit programming and became the "master of machines."
There is no one course "how to become a cisco engineer". All podcasts for developers. Instagram offered me to become a blockchain programmer in 5 days. Come on! The world was created in 7 days, and you can become a programmer in 5. What?


Social surveys about employers are only developers.


Hundreds of articles on how to teach a child to program and not one how to make a child an engineer. But in the Soviet Union the word engineer sounded proudly ...


Epilogue


Year 2019. The Wachowski brothers became sisters. Remake of the Freestyler remake. The fire brigade never arrived. Outside the window, snow is melting, either from spring, or from a fire under his ass.


Acknowledgments


                                                                                                               @LucBertrand
                                                                                                               @gapel
                                                                                                               @nmivan

It sounds strange, but it was your articles that became the catalyst for the publication of this article.


Also popular now: