How smart people ask questions

    "Damn, I did not understand (a) what to do / say / answer" - a running line in your head nervously spins when you are left alone with yourself during an awkward pause. You misunderstood what they want from you and don’t know how to ask again.



    The only way out is to ask again, ask for explanation, show that a misunderstanding has arisen. But instead, someone prefers to pretend that everything is in order, and someone agrees and nods his head, smiling awkwardly.
    Even if the missed information does not change your life in any way (suppose this is not news about the apocalypse), nevertheless, learning to admit that you did not understand something, did not hear something, is necessary. Well this is nonsense that you are embarrassed to ask. You’re afraid that they will consider it incompetent - it’s better to clarify now than the next time (and he, believe me, will be much more awkward than this one), you’ll be afraid that they will consider inattentive - okay, this is common for everyone, we switch attention hundreds of times, especially when there really is a lot of important information in your head, afraid that you will be considered stupid - again not.

    Catch a study / Wharton, Harvard /, confirming that those who have the courage to ask questions and seek advice are considered smart and interested.

    So, here are the rules to be learned by those who are still silent and nods:


    # There are no stupid questions
    Usually, in a resume, everyone diligently displays the word “responsible” - because they believe that they are responsible for solving problems. So, ladies and gentlemen, in fact, under this word lies a detailed understanding of the process and the consequences. Does someone else's work depend on you? result? a life? yes money in the end? Ask, specify, detail. Yes, there are no stupid questions, but there are stupid situations that follow the lack of answers.

    Total:
    If you know that you are going to a meeting / interview / seminar or somewhere else, then try to outline in advance the questions that interest you. You can even mark some of them in the process, or maybe put even more question marks. And we add that questions are not only a great way to get information, but also a great opportunity to maintain a conversation, as well as show your interest, yes, yes!

    Do you know how to conduct creative experiments on yourself?

    # There are two types of questions
    Marlia Adams, author of Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 10 Powerful Tools for Life and Work , argues that there are two types of questions: “student questions” and “judgmental questions.” The first creative, open, they are asked out of curiosity. Examples of such questions: “What are my goals?”, “How can I help?”, “What am I responsible for?”, “What do my clients want?”.

    Questions of the second type, as you might have guessed, are critical, skeptical. They focus on the problem, not its solution. The answer to them is always negative. Examples: “Who is to blame?”, “Why aren’t we winning?”.
    Some, obviously, lead to progress, while others simply do not lead anywhere.

    Total:
    Try to focus on questions as a way of gaining knowledge. Of course, questions like “Why is everything so sad?” Will still sound at some point, anything can happen, but “student” questions bring much more benefit to your work, so try to ask them more often.


    # Storm of questions
    If you know that there is some problem that you need to solve, but you have not yet found a way to solve it, try to make a list of 50 questions. Each subsequent question will help you concentrate on the main task and in the end you will find the very wording that will help you find the answer. This works in different cases - when it is difficult to find the right words, when you do not understand the subject of discussion. The more times you scroll through all possible approaches to discussing a problem, the closer you can get to the right option.


    # The ability to rephrase has never been so useful
    There is the concept of "illusion of transparency." This is one of the “cognitive distortions expressed in the tendency of people to overestimate the ability of others to understand them and their ability to understand others." That is, sometimes we are sure that we understood each other, explained everything perfectly, and then nothing happens, you seem to speak different languages. And all because from the very beginning you did not understand how the team, partner, and colleague see the common tasks. Now let's talk about a simple life hack for such cases. Surely you know him, but you don’t even suspect how effective he is!

    Rephrase.

    After everyone told you how you got the assignment, say again “that is, you want us (me) ...”
    This is a way to clarify the details, and an excellent display of how you see ways to solve the problem. And, most interestingly, it works!

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