November 6, 2015 at 13:387 types of programmers / friday fun /
Once upon a time, computers were something of the category of ancient monsters, and programmers were mystical monks who tamed them. Joke. We love programmers because they can do anything. But those who at least somehow came into contact with representatives of the IT world know that this is not just a faceless mass, but a whole society in itself, with its interesting and typical characters. Today we will introduce you to seven typical programmers.
Spoiler: One of them is Edik.
// How to recognize him: He
// How to recognize him:
It seems to you that he is a programmer, but in fact he is a blogger. Every day he writes a new article, mainly about the fact that he learned new things today, but sometimes he also swings at analytics. And he sends rays of hatred to everyone who does not like him.
His name is Edik. And he is just one of the most honest people on the planet. He wrote excellent code, well structured, understandable to everyone and everyone, absolutely and completely bug-free, which was just full of comments. And now you are discussing programming with him (surprisingly, yes?), He says that he wrote all these comments only because he was too lazy to change the code later. Instead of doing everything at once so that everything works and is one system, he will make a bunch of corrections - do not redo everything at once. Not! Just not that!
From his youth, he gained experience and was imbued with the spirit of programming, with his mother's milk he got a love for the code. Just sit and listen, student. It’s time to hold your breath and experience.
Innovative sage
"Pf, they licked this concept at Smalltalk"
"Have you not yet seen what they came up with yesterday?"
"Wow, this is so elegant! Thank you for teaching. ”
Some people just like to comment. They think their sense of humor should be noted. Someone just raises his self-esteem. Someone enjoys commenting on a comment or commenting on a comment under a comment. Sometimes, when an extra line under an article finds its own life, he begins to think that the article is the body, and he is a bacterium that parasitizes and allows the body to live.
Its code is elegant and perfectly compatible with the site design - what difference does it work or not? He loves to hold languid and incredibly long meetings and spit on deadlines, he's an artist!
We also have material about what types of colleagues and office workers exist .
Spoiler: One of them is Edik.
1. Tired programmer
He is tired. Very tired. From the constant need to learn new technologies. From complex customers. From inaccurate tasks and incomprehensible documentation. From constant comments that he was “behind”. And, worst of all, he was tired of his constant attempts to change something, because well, nothing works. And he stopped trying. Just limp. He began to focus on his personal life. He no longer codes the day and night if there is no serious need for this. He does not want to learn new languages. He hopes that his company will flourish and grow simply because he does not want to seek a new job.
// How to recognize him: He
sighs loudly every time when new technologies are mentioned in a conversation.
He carries with him a whole book that proves that the technologies he uses are better than others.
Very rarely shaves - after such a depression the beard does not grow
2. Moth programmer
He is so fickle. He loves new things, technologies, languages, systems. He simply loves to overcome difficulties, fix bugs, and cope with the lack of necessary documentation. He flutters, like a butterfly, from one task to another, analyzes, tests, cods and quickly flies on.
// How to recognize him:
Often he says the phrases “Yes, it's cool, I studied this topic a few months ago, but it's not as cool as this one”
Or “I can’t wait for xyz to be released with its new bitmap management framework The 9-dimensional Gauss method. It will be great! ”
You cannot surprise him with any news. Never.
3. Blogger
It seems to you that he is a programmer, but in fact he is a blogger. Every day he writes a new article, mainly about the fact that he learned new things today, but sometimes he also swings at analytics. And he sends rays of hatred to everyone who does not like him.
// How to recognize him:
“I will write about it on my blog”
If you ask him about a hobby, he will reply “I am blogging”
T-shirt with the blog address
4. Lazy dog
His name is Edik. And he is just one of the most honest people on the planet. He wrote excellent code, well structured, understandable to everyone and everyone, absolutely and completely bug-free, which was just full of comments. And now you are discussing programming with him (surprisingly, yes?), He says that he wrote all these comments only because he was too lazy to change the code later. Instead of doing everything at once so that everything works and is one system, he will make a bunch of corrections - do not redo everything at once. Not! Just not that!
The “lazy" programmer sees how the system as a whole works and tries to solve as many problems as possible pointwise, based on his experience, so that later he does not have to return to these tasks and redo everything. Just do not try to ask him to do something manually. Automation is his thing.
The "lazy" programmer is constantly looking for ways to learn new skills, learns languages, learns technology, so he is able to solve many problems quickly. Nevertheless, sometimes (more often than others), a lazy programmer is inclined to exaggerate the client's needs.
// How to recognize him
He is terribly angry, throws a keyboard at a person who asks him to fix someone's badly written code. He
sits all the time and studies online courses.
Automates everything. Even the process of eating food
5. Sage
From his youth, he gained experience and was imbued with the spirit of programming, with his mother's milk he got a love for the code. Just sit and listen, student. It’s time to hold your breath and experience.
Sage is an expert in the programming world. He has been doing this longer than you live on this mortal planet, so he can tell you stories that you won’t believe. He is the "dinosaur" of the IT world. Well, if this did not convince you - he knew what “code” was before Microsoft appeared.
There are two types of “wise men”: some are subject to changes in time (read - they absorb knowledge and new technologies), while others do not. Experience is great, but experience without the desire to evolve professionally does not mean anything. A “sage” who is ready to learn is an invaluable specialist.
A conservative sage will not listen if you decide to point out his mistakes to him, but an innovative sage will be glad if you share your experience.
// How to recognize him:
Conservative sage
“PDP-10 architecture is pure art”
“I am too old for this, man”
“I will not use this idiotic IDE! I and vi are fine. ”
Innovative sage
"Pf, they licked this concept at Smalltalk"
"Have you not yet seen what they came up with yesterday?"
"Wow, this is so elegant! Thank you for teaching. ”
6. The one who comments on such articles
Some people just like to comment. They think their sense of humor should be noted. Someone just raises his self-esteem. Someone enjoys commenting on a comment or commenting on a comment under a comment. Sometimes, when an extra line under an article finds its own life, he begins to think that the article is the body, and he is a bacterium that parasitizes and allows the body to live.
// How to recognize him:
“What nonsense?”
Viciously and expressively tapping on the keyboard
“I was inspired! Thank you, smacking. "
7. The poet
Its code is elegant and perfectly compatible with the site design - what difference does it work or not? He loves to hold languid and incredibly long meetings and spit on deadlines, he's an artist!
// How to recognize him:
“Can you understand the beauty of the code?”
He constantly asks you to look at his code.
He pretends that inspiration comes to him and codes in the most unexpected places.
We also have material about what types of colleagues and office workers exist .