Fruitful Communication Guide

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    Not so long ago on Habré there was news about the adoption of the "Guide to good communication of GNU". Much of this code is true, but many points, in my opinion, do not fully correspond to the spirit of teamwork and impair the rights of participants.

    Let's try, as part of a Friday evening, to formulate our “Guide to fruitful communication when working together.” As you see, the difference with the GNU leadership begins even at the goal setting stage - in my opinion, the pleasantness of communication within the project is not an end in itself. Within the framework of the project, we communicate to achieve a specific goal - to carry out work on the project. Nice to chat, we will be for tea with bread.

    This does not mean that communication within the project will definitely be unpleasant. This is a matter of priorities - if, to work on a project, there is a choice between pleasant communication for all and imposing some unpleasant restrictions for the sake of work efficiency, the priority will be given to the latter.

    Why? By definition. I repeat: the main goal is effective work on the project. Communication is a tool that serves to achieve this goal. Not the other way around.

    Disclaimer:

    The list of items published by me reflects my personal opinion and is based on my life priorities. If you have a different opinion from me - feel free to correct me by offering your options.

    Not all items are equally serious - after all, we have Friday night, right?

    So:

    1. All people are equal. Injustice and deprivation of the rights of people because of their belonging to a particular social group, race, religion, gender, and gender self-determination is prohibited.
    2. Positive discrimination is also discrimination and is unacceptable in any form. Equal rights create equal responsibilities.
    3. Your gender, your sexual orientation, your skin color and nationality are your own business. Do not attempt to use this as an argument in a dispute or a basis for obtaining preferences or a reason for discrimination.
    4. Racial, ethnic and gender diversity is welcomed, because the difference in culture, experience, approach to solving problems improves the final result of the project through evolutionary mechanisms, allowing you to choose the best solutions from the larger number of proposed options.
    5. At the same time - diversity is a tool for working on a project, and not an end in itself. If in order to work with a person or a social group you have to distort the goals of the project, then it would be correct to suggest that the project should change, not the project.
    6. Insults. When working on a project, we use positive and negative reinforcement. Conventional "Gingerbread" and "Whip." Positive reinforcement, in addition to purely material incentives, is praise. In this case, in some cases there is a need for negative reinforcement. It is psychologically difficult to praise a colleague for the routine work performed without errors, so the reaction occurs only in case of errors. If you have done something wrong, it will be appropriate to scold you - to cause negative emotions and avoid fixing the wrong behavior.
    7. Insult is a tool. Accordingly, it should be used wisely and as intended. A team member who uses such a dangerous tool as an insult to the right and left for no reason or a disproportionately happened will be given a warning.
    8. Going to the person in insults is not welcome. This is permissible, as a last resort, in an emergency, but the use of this technique speaks of the loss of face by both participants - and those who have been insulted and those who have offended. We will try not to bring this up.
    9. If our project somehow bothers you, offends your feelings, your understanding of the beautiful, your religious beliefs, etc. the first thing we want to tell you: We are completely on your side. We treat your opinion with understanding and will not in any way prevent you from feeling offended in the future. To be insulted and to be dissatisfied is the inalienable right of every person.
    10. If, besides aspirations, you want our project to change and stop insulting your feelings, we suggest telling us why our project offends you or prevents you. We are not villains, and we can fully agree with your arguments. The pizza you bought will help us make sure that you are serious and will add value to your arguments.
    11. Your personal life is not a subject of discussion. We will refrain from assessing the professional qualities of people based on the facts of their personal lives, their political and religious views, as well as their opinions on issues not related to the work on our project.
    12. No one should be punished again for the crime committed. Based on this rule, we will not replace the court and the system of execution of sentences. If the law enforcement agencies have no complaints about the person, then we have none the more. If there are complaints, then this does not concern us either - since everyone is engaged in his own business: we are implementing the project, they protect the rule of law.
    13. The right to anonymity. When working on a project, we will, where possible, respect your rights - including the right to anonymity. We will not make an effort to establish your real identity.
    14. There may be situations when working on a project will require a waiver of the anonymity of the participants. In this case, you will be warned in advance and will have the opportunity to exit the project. The remaining participants, when identified, after your departure, the data contributing to your Possible De-Ionimization will delete them without reading.
    15. Not all yogurts are equally beneficial. Remember that working with you on the same team is our right, not an obligation. Departure from the values ​​of the project can lead to the impossibility of our joint activities. However, the reason for the refusal to cooperate may be lack of qualifications or negligence in working together. In any case, we will try to remain friends and you will always remain in the history of the project.
    16. Appeal to the project staff - at the mercy of the project staff. This means that we are not interested in who and how to whom he refers. If you want to be contacted using a form that is different from the generally accepted one, make more friends who will gladly fulfill such an important request for you and treat people condescendingly that they ignore it - this is also their right. Therefore, the following two points are more wishes than instructions.
    17. In Russia, we are used to addressing people according to their visible sex. Attempts to introduce gender-neutral forms of speech in the Russian language are not advisable, since gender-neutral language forms have negative connotations: “It rubs ointment into the skin when told to it”.
    18. The treatment of you, when communicating within the project, is honored by the acting monarchs, Siamese twins and representatives of the hive forms of non-human life.
    19. We will not discuss and consider evidence - obtained by illegal means - from private correspondence, hacking accounts and other things.
    20. We do not aim with a hand, He who aims with a hand, forgot the face of his father. We aim the eye. We do not shoot with a hand, He who shoots with a hand forgot the face of his father. We shoot the mind. We do not kill with a weapon, He who kills with a weapon forgot the face of his father. We kill with our heart. PS: Weapons after firing should be cleaned, preferably immediately.
    21. Manipulating a sense of guilt is unacceptable. If you are blamed for the actions of your compatriots, people of the same sex or skin color, you are being manipulated. Avoid such conversations.
    22. We are out of politics. This does not mean, alas, that you will not be denied work on a project if you belong to a number of political or religious movements. We are out of politics, but we expect from colleagues to work together under the project that we share some basic ideals. Membership in a number of political parties and religious groups is not your private affair, simply because these parties and religious movements destroy the rights and freedoms of other people. Choose what is more important to you. This is a necessary and exceptional measure. Please use it only in cases where options for peaceful cooperation are fundamentally impossible.

    Scene after captions:
    Конечно, было бы неплохо получить в рамках этой дискуссии ответы от лагеря, который придерживается противоположенной точки зрения. Вразумительные ответы, а не что-то в стиле:

    — Мне нужна твоя одежда, сапоги и мотоцикл.
    — Почему?
    — Надо.

    Но, исходя из опыта предыдущих дискуссий, предполагаю что вероятность этого очень небольшая. Мы словно говорим на разных языках. Те аргументы и доводы, которые привожу я и которые считаю абсолютно логичными и неопровержимыми, отметались как несущественные. При этом взамен я получал речекряк – эмоционально окрашенный текст, который не содержит логичных посылок и выводов.

    Я долго размышлял надо этим и пришел к выводу, что это происходит потому, что наше мышление сильно отличается. Несколько расширив значение старых терминов, можно сказать, что люди делятся на две группы – физиков и лириков.

    Поясню на примере: у меня есть знакомый, известный мне под именем Виконт, с которым я никак не могу договориться. Я физик, Виконт – лирик, и на его примере я объясню разницу.
    Моя воображаемая модель мира – физическая. Когда я о чем-то рассуждаю, я как бы делаю в голове симуляцию процесса. Решая задачу – сколько будет кусков, когда мы режем яблоко ножом пополам, я представляю и яблоко и нож и вижу количество кусков. Мой воображаемый мир — упрощенная копия нашего реального мира. Понятно почему – ни один мозг в мире не справится с полноценной симуляцией реальности. Конечно, я не веду эти расчеты осознанно – я занимаюсь этим всю жизнь, так что для меня это так-же привычно, как дышать.

    Модель мира Виконта – книга. Чудовищно сложная книга, скорее даже база данных, где каждому событию, явлению, человеку – присвоен ярлычок с описанием. У простых вещей описания простые. У сложных вещей – запутанные, со многими смыслами. Еще эти ярлычки разноцветные – они окрашены эмоциями. Основная масса – знания – нейтральные, белые. Есть черные – это недостоверная информация от плохих, неприятных людей. Есть яркие – это проверенная информация от людей с подтвержденным высоким статусом.

    Разница в подходах – колоссальная. Виконт, планируя свои действия, основывается не на физической, а на гипертекстовой модели мира. Он словно бы живет не в реальном, а в придуманном кем-то мире. В его воображаемой вселенной – перо сильнее шпаги. Описание вещи, тот ярлычок, который он хранит в свой базе данных – важнее, чем то, что видят его глаза.

    Главный недостаток модели Виконта даже не том, что она придумана другими людьми. Главный недостаток в том, что она противоречива. В книгах – возможно всё. В мире Виконта тоже. Число кусков от разрезания напополам яблока может быть сколько угодно. Три, шесть, восемь – столько, сколько кусков получилось, когда яблоко резал Гуру. (Человек с высоким, для Виконта, статусом) Правда, Гуру сделал не один разрез, а несколько – но поскольку в книге это не указанно, то Виконт об этом не знает. Но будет стоять на своем — в том числе и потому, что все мои доводы – заведомо не достоверны, так как исходят от плохого человека.

    Теперь понимаете, почему мы не можем договориться? Да мы более отличны, чем люди и жукоглазые монстры из научной фантастики! (Просто потому, что жукоглазых монстров придумали авторы с той же физической картиной мира, что и у меня). Помните об этом при диалоге.
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