How to make the coolest website so that all competitors are jealous

    Of course, without a page on the Internet, living in our time is simply unthinkable. When even a round-the-clock stall near the house has its own website, and a ten-megabyte unlimited is spent in each dog kennel, any office that respects itself in the slightest degree should declare itself online. In this article, we will give you some practical tips on how to get a dream site that everyone will envy.

    Search for an artist
    Never order a site from large studios and companies with a reputation: this will immediately give you a simpleton and a spender. Think for yourself: how can some letters on the Internet cost a lot of money? Surely all the money you paid will go to the director’s gold toilet and a three-story fountain in the lobby of their main office.
    Only honest and free workers who declare themselves from pillars, walls of houses and announcements on Avito will give you what you need. Indeed, for such money only pure altruists and fanatics of their craft can work.

    Technical task
    Remember: the main principle of compiling competent TK is conciseness. There is no need to paint everything in detail and provide unnecessary details. Ideally, it should consist of one, maximum two sentences; Give your artists room for self-fulfillment.
    “Make a site like Vkontakte, only better, and so many new features” - something like this, briefly and firmly, the essence should be stated. An experienced performer already has the beginnings of telepathy and is able to predict your desires.

    One day people will come to you and offer you to make a prototype. Run them away twice, and when they arrive on the third, draw a Chorny Square with small windows with two strokes of a pen on a piece of paper and, having hit the staff with the ground, say: “This is my site.”

    Communication with the team
    We know from experience: you should not pay special attention to the advice and opinions of the team. Everyone knows that they are human programmers who think in binary code and are incapable of high fantasy.

    Set out all your wishes and corrections in an understandable artistic language. If you need to do less "medieval" or more "consistent with the spirit of vegetarianism," say so.
    For any objection, poke a wallet in their face, not forgetting to remind you that you are at the top of this food chain.

    If something can blink, shine or move, it should blink, shine and move. More pictures, flash and animated menus. The site should shimmer like a Christmas tree and only introduce its user into a trance. And do not care that only NASA's supercomputer will be able to pull it, and machines with RAM less than 2 gigabytes will spark and explode when trying to load it.

    And even if they don’t even think about stuttering about any “usability” and optimization: it’s clear that this is just another tricky way to lure you a lot of money. And the word "minimalism" was generally invented by lazy Jews, just to not work.

    Everything that the user may hypothetically need should be placed on the main page. The address of your nearest store in Rostov, the phone number of the junior sales manager, weather reports for yesterday, today and a week in advance, the current dollar exchange rate, the Dow Jones index, an instant chat window with the manager and an offer to immediately log in through all conceivable social networks of the world - all this should decorate the main page of the site, providing unlimited possibilities to the user.

    In addition, each site should have a Holy Place - the “Company News” section. Only three things can be posted there: congratulations to all female clients on March 8, congratulations to all male clients on February 23, and Happy New Year to both sexes. All.
    Do not ask why, this is a tradition. And God forbid you to break it - customers will immediately turn away from you, waiters will spit in your soup, and pipes will burst in the office.

    In the entire history of the Internet, only 17 people reached the second page of search results in Google.
    Therefore, it is vital that the link to you dangles somewhere on top for any reason. It doesn’t matter if a person is looking for the address of the nearest pharmacy or the latest episode of Doctor Who, the link to your online shoe brush store should proudly stick out before his eyes.

    If you want to promote your website or promote your website and get to the top Google in Moscow, then in order to promote your website in Moscow inexpensively, you will inevitably need a high-quality SEO specialist in Moscow in Moscow who will deal with website promotion in Moscow or Moscow Region or bring to top Google, filling it with text, the syllable of which Kafka and Mandelstam will envy.

    Do not worry about the fact that only specially trained robot degenerate can read and understand its essence; that when you read your main page out loud, everything begins to rotate in the tomb, from Dostoevsky to Cyril and Methodius, inclusive, and that teachers of Russian literature throughout the country have nightmares for another week after that.
    The main thing is Google’s top. The main thing is Google’s top. Repeat this phrase as a mantra several times a day, and your life will improve.

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