If programming languages ​​were girls ...

Original author: Isaac Lewis
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Warning: this translation is purely humorous in nature and is intended solely to cheer up. This habratopik may be a logical continuation of another similar habratopik a year ago.

PHP is your first school love, the one that you timidly held by the hand while strolling through the park. Yes, maybe then you could spend all night with her, but think twice before starting a more serious relationship with her - a friend can be a problem!

Perl is the older sister of PHP. For your taste, it will most likely seem a bit old, but in the nineties it ignited properly! Now, however, she no longer seems such a bomb, and is rarely remembered about her.

Ruby- a very fashionable and popular girlfriend. When you first saw her, your breathing stopped, your heart throbbed and you were struck by her beauty. And with her a lot of fun. And although a few years ago she noticeably slowed down, in recent years she has grown significantly.

Python is a very sensitive (to your indentation) and boring sister to Ruby.

Java- An adult and successful careerist. Where she lacks erudition, she uses her external data, and this is usually enough to impress serious uncles in formal suits. Looking at her, it seems to you that you have found the one with which you can settle down and begin to build a family life. The main thing is to prepare yourself for her constant nagging, like “NO IT IS IMPOSSIBLE, WHY DO YOU ALWAYS USE THIS TYPE AND LOOK AT ALL OTHERWISE MISSED THE POINT WITH THE COMMARK”

C ++ is a Java cousin. They are similar in many ways, but the main difference lies in the fact that C ++ does not believe in kontratse automatic memory allocation, so be alert.

FROMthis is C ++ mom. Mention her name in a conversation with someone gray-haired and bearded, and you will see how a light is lit in their eyes, and they will remember the past!

Objective-C is another representative of the family of beautiful women S. It so happened that this friend joined a strange religion and did not want to communicate with anyone who was not dedicated to her.

Haskell, Clojure, Scheme and their girlfriends are fashionable intellectuals in berets and bangs, whom you probably remember from the summer camp when they threw you daring challenges. Naturally, summer novels cannot compete with a serious relationship, and therefore you had to leave (you repeat this to yourself periodically). However, in your head there is always a restless thought - " what would happen if ... ?"

Because of her reputation, C # is looked askance. She knows where to get absolutely anything, thereby luring you to her "clan". Hey, do you need a database? One call to MSSQL brother and you're done. Looking for a place to stay for a while? Her daddy rents you an apartment on Azure Street. Are you starting to doubt the meaning of your relationship with her? Too late, you are part of the family, and there is no turning back!

Javascript- stop, this is the girl with whom you had your first kiss, isn’t it? Yes, even before PHP came into your life! I wonder how she is doing. I heard that her career was rapidly going uphill. She must definitely call, so to speak, to catch up. You just look - yes it is from head to toe in jQuery's designer stuff! Some of the ugly duckling has grown into a real beautiful swan!

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