Ideal post on Habrahabr: what is it?

...
Here's the perfect quote:
xxx> I’m the hellish admin, I missed the server cat through the shredder in 25 seconds
yyy> huyase o_0
bash.org.ru

Introduction

In this topic I’m not going to argue on the topic "Habr is not the same", and other garbage. I’ll try to tell you what the “golden topic” should be, arguing in terms of Lepra (a topic with 97.5% of its ratings is a plus, the rest can be minuses). The topic is in "Humor" - because it is precisely humor, and does not pretend to be =)

Essence

Topics on Habré are minus for some reasons:

1. The reader is just in a bad mood
2. The reader does not understand what the author writes about, and therefore puts a minus (because the author of kakbe pointed out to the reader that he had not yet reached such articles)
3. The reader programs in one programming language, and the article gives examples in another.
4. The article was not hidden "under the cut", and with its minus the reader expresses his "fi"
5. Topic is a podcast that the reader hates
6. The topic is not a podcast, and the user is minus everything that is not a podcast

Reader's bad mood

If the reader is in a bad mood, he needs to be raised, and even before he reads the article.
An example of how this can be done is given at the very top. Quotes from ancient philosophers, great people, or clippings from beautiful songs are welcome (but, do not forget, given in the topic!)

Reader feels superfluous

So that the reader does not feel superfluous, the topic should be written in words understandable even to the housewife, with detailed pictures, screenshots, and so on.
Is it difficult for you to explain the programming of the PIC16cx controller at the housewife level? And who said that writing is easy?

Tower of babel

I think everyone knows what the Tower of Babel is. She was a stumbling block many centuries ago, and has become now. To erase all boundaries between developers in different languages, you need all code examples, descriptions, etc. result in all possible programming languages. Think it's complicated? And who said that writing is easy?

"Under the cut!"

The times of narrow channels and megabyte pay have already passed, but habits have remained. I do not want to see one topic, occupying half the page. So try, do not forget. There is no humor.

Podcasts - decisive and formidable no!

If you recorded a podcast, rewrite the entire text in a topic (this is a joke, of course =), some still prefer to read rather than listen to the text.

No text!

If you wrote a lengthy article (and if you followed the text, the article should have been very big), write down the podcast. As I wrote above, only some people prefer to read, others like to listen.

Conclusion

This is just a small list of reasons, in fact there are many more. By the way, clever thoughts and beautiful design are the key to success =)