September 7, 2007 at 14:0869 signs that you are not fucking a project, but he is you
1. Your company started hiring consultants to blame everyone
2. Your load testing server crashed with the error “Everything, b $%, I can’t take it anymore!”
3. Your version control system is a set of folders “revision 1 "," Revision 2 ",:" revision 465 ", etc. on the network drive
4. Your TK consists of three pages written 2 hours before the lunch break.
5. You began to look for a new job because you do not want to support the code that you are writing now.
6. The first phrase at any meeting: “There is good news, there is bad. Where do we start? ”
7. The progress of your project is now measured by the number of fixed bugs, and not by the number of features implemented.
8. You made friends with a cleaner
9. Your best developer of educational documents has only a certificate of attending two-month training courses for system administrators in the center "Specialist" at MSTU. N.E. Bauman.
10. You are unfamiliar with the abbreviations DRY, LOL, or KISS; but you understand very well what WTF or FUBAR
11. means . Your leader can be replaced by a set of rules for automatic email redirection
12. Your development process is ISO 9001/2000 certified (and that’s all)
13. Your management believes that Metrica is protein drink
14. In the bug tracking system, any bug has the priority “Critical”
15. And any new feature is the priority “Trivial”
16. The costs of a project always magically coincide with the project budget
17. Developers use the words "self-documenting code" when explaining why there are no comments in their source code.
18. Your favorite design pattern is God Object
19. Do you believe compilation is a form of testing
20. Developers use vi as an IDE
21. You don’t have a personal computer at work (you don’t do pair programming at the same time)
22. An unspoken rule: do not hold meetings until 10 in the morning (because we were all here before 2 at night)
23. Your team believes that XML is a fleeting hobby
24. You plan to smoothly transition with VB6 to VB.NET
25. Your boss thinks that MS Project is the best in E e means to manage projects
26. Your wife sees you only through a webcam
27. In your unit tests there are no assertions.
28. You argue hoarsely about whether to put "{" on a new line, and discussions about using design patterns such as MVC are quick and easy.
29. The phrase “everything works for me” is heard more often than once a day
30. Your boss insists that you draw up detailed reports on the work done, but never use them to make decisions.
31. Debugging is on the battle server
32. To give new vitality to the project, the company arranges a team building, on which everyone gets drunk.
33. In the morning, the release manager realizes that the developers told him the actual deadline for the project, but is afraid to remember it.
34. The total budget of your project has been mixed up with a weekly coffee bill.
35. Your boss spends a lunch break in his car (cries)
36. Sellers of “Potato Chips” working on the night shift begin to recognize you in person
37. Developers use the version control system only as a means of backup source
38. Developers do not test . At all.
39. The client constantly accepts the cost growth chart for the profit growth chart
40. The code name of the project was changed to “Kamikaze”
41. Recently, you have a feeling of irrational fear if you have to answer “yes” to the question “will you?”
42. As an encouragement bosses ordered a coffee machine to the office for processing
43. The budget of your project in the balance sheet went to the article “Overhead costs”
44. You secretly outsource part of the project to read LJ at work
45. An alpha version of the project has not yet been released, but a commission has been set up to control changes.
46. You are thinking about breaking your fingers to be sent to a sick leave.
47. The “Deadline” was renamed “Milestone” (like the previous “Deadline”)
48. The “open door policy” for your project manager is valid from 19:01 to 9:59
49. The authorities say: “Yes, buy, we we’ll write it ourselves! ”
50. In the evenings, you buy pizza, shawarma and adrenaline rush to office
51. Your boss was caught during a seance (he asked for advice on leadership)
52. You give the wrong advice to your colleagues so that they look better at the reporting meeting.
53. Code review begins one week before the release of the product
54. Test plans are defined as “If there is time”
55. The client does not want to talk about the requirements for the project without receiving a work plan.
56. The authorities don’t see the humor in the comics about Dilbert (http://www.dilbert.com/)
57. You start to think about whether 12-hour work at McDonald’s is more promising in terms of career
58. All problems with performance, they decide to buy more powerful iron
59. They decided to release the project in the form of a permanent beta
60. The tow truck took your car from the parking lot in front of the office because it was considered abandoned.
61. During the requirements gathering meetings, the project manager pencils on paper, drawing complex geometric patterns
62. You do pair programming alone.
63. The last programming book you read is “Visual InterDev 6 Bible”
64. You know very well how many compiler vorings should be for the 'Out of Memory' error to occur in your IDE
65. The IDE is mentioned twice in this list, and you don’t know how it stands for
66. Inactive unit tests are deleted because they are obviously outdated.
67. In the QA department, you were nicknamed “Mr. Buffer Overflow”
68. 90% of the time you have everything ready for 90%
69. “Oh, yes, I completely forgot Mmm ..., uh ... you also need to come on Sunday morning. Thank you. ”
Taken here
2. Your load testing server crashed with the error “Everything, b $%, I can’t take it anymore!”
3. Your version control system is a set of folders “revision 1 "," Revision 2 ",:" revision 465 ", etc. on the network drive
4. Your TK consists of three pages written 2 hours before the lunch break.
5. You began to look for a new job because you do not want to support the code that you are writing now.
6. The first phrase at any meeting: “There is good news, there is bad. Where do we start? ”
7. The progress of your project is now measured by the number of fixed bugs, and not by the number of features implemented.
8. You made friends with a cleaner
9. Your best developer of educational documents has only a certificate of attending two-month training courses for system administrators in the center "Specialist" at MSTU. N.E. Bauman.
10. You are unfamiliar with the abbreviations DRY, LOL, or KISS; but you understand very well what WTF or FUBAR
11. means . Your leader can be replaced by a set of rules for automatic email redirection
12. Your development process is ISO 9001/2000 certified (and that’s all)
13. Your management believes that Metrica is protein drink
14. In the bug tracking system, any bug has the priority “Critical”
15. And any new feature is the priority “Trivial”
16. The costs of a project always magically coincide with the project budget
17. Developers use the words "self-documenting code" when explaining why there are no comments in their source code.
18. Your favorite design pattern is God Object
19. Do you believe compilation is a form of testing
20. Developers use vi as an IDE
21. You don’t have a personal computer at work (you don’t do pair programming at the same time)
22. An unspoken rule: do not hold meetings until 10 in the morning (because we were all here before 2 at night)
23. Your team believes that XML is a fleeting hobby
24. You plan to smoothly transition with VB6 to VB.NET
25. Your boss thinks that MS Project is the best in E e means to manage projects
26. Your wife sees you only through a webcam
27. In your unit tests there are no assertions.
28. You argue hoarsely about whether to put "{" on a new line, and discussions about using design patterns such as MVC are quick and easy.
29. The phrase “everything works for me” is heard more often than once a day
30. Your boss insists that you draw up detailed reports on the work done, but never use them to make decisions.
31. Debugging is on the battle server
32. To give new vitality to the project, the company arranges a team building, on which everyone gets drunk.
33. In the morning, the release manager realizes that the developers told him the actual deadline for the project, but is afraid to remember it.
34. The total budget of your project has been mixed up with a weekly coffee bill.
35. Your boss spends a lunch break in his car (cries)
36. Sellers of “Potato Chips” working on the night shift begin to recognize you in person
37. Developers use the version control system only as a means of backup source
38. Developers do not test . At all.
39. The client constantly accepts the cost growth chart for the profit growth chart
40. The code name of the project was changed to “Kamikaze”
41. Recently, you have a feeling of irrational fear if you have to answer “yes” to the question “will you?”
42. As an encouragement bosses ordered a coffee machine to the office for processing
43. The budget of your project in the balance sheet went to the article “Overhead costs”
44. You secretly outsource part of the project to read LJ at work
45. An alpha version of the project has not yet been released, but a commission has been set up to control changes.
46. You are thinking about breaking your fingers to be sent to a sick leave.
47. The “Deadline” was renamed “Milestone” (like the previous “Deadline”)
48. The “open door policy” for your project manager is valid from 19:01 to 9:59
49. The authorities say: “Yes, buy, we we’ll write it ourselves! ”
50. In the evenings, you buy pizza, shawarma and adrenaline rush to office
51. Your boss was caught during a seance (he asked for advice on leadership)
52. You give the wrong advice to your colleagues so that they look better at the reporting meeting.
53. Code review begins one week before the release of the product
54. Test plans are defined as “If there is time”
55. The client does not want to talk about the requirements for the project without receiving a work plan.
56. The authorities don’t see the humor in the comics about Dilbert (http://www.dilbert.com/)
57. You start to think about whether 12-hour work at McDonald’s is more promising in terms of career
58. All problems with performance, they decide to buy more powerful iron
59. They decided to release the project in the form of a permanent beta
60. The tow truck took your car from the parking lot in front of the office because it was considered abandoned.
61. During the requirements gathering meetings, the project manager pencils on paper, drawing complex geometric patterns
62. You do pair programming alone.
63. The last programming book you read is “Visual InterDev 6 Bible”
64. You know very well how many compiler vorings should be for the 'Out of Memory' error to occur in your IDE
65. The IDE is mentioned twice in this list, and you don’t know how it stands for
66. Inactive unit tests are deleted because they are obviously outdated.
67. In the QA department, you were nicknamed “Mr. Buffer Overflow”
68. 90% of the time you have everything ready for 90%
69. “Oh, yes, I completely forgot Mmm ..., uh ... you also need to come on Sunday morning. Thank you. ”
Taken here