Secrets of communication for introverts

If you feel sick every time someone says the word “communication” , this article is for you. You will learn how to effectively interact with people that will not disturb your inner world.

People are often surprised when they find out that the author of an article is not an extrovert. Nevertheless, she calmly performs from the stage, participates in competitions and maintains acquaintance with a huge number of people. Ellen went to school, in which ideal conditions were created only for extroverts. Despite this, it can not be called an extrovert.

For a girl, the most difficult thing is ordinary informal communication. Like many introverts, Ellen does not like empty talk and feels uncomfortable among a large number of strangers. Modern technology confirms this. Recently, the girl appeared Spire, a device for controlling stress levels, and it turned out that the most stressful for her are the moments when a lot of people flock around without a goal.

In such cases, they are always advised to “just ignore” and say that “soon you will get used to it”

But Ellen does not succeed. Perhaps you, too (and this is normal).

At the same time, the girl is sure that meeting people is important for creating and improving new ideas. It was necessary to find a way that would be better suited for this than traditional communication. The result is a set of strategies to help get in touch with the right people. If there weren’t these strategies, Ellen would probably be sitting at home with her cat and reading books to her every day.

(1) Make it easy to contact you

It is much easier to respond by consent to a request in person than publicly at any random event. It only takes a couple of minutes to view the / coffee page on the site.

If someone gets in touch, he already knows what he would like to talk to you about. You don’t have to spend time searching for a common ground and building a relaxed conversation : you are talking about business. This belongs to the category of those little things that eventually grow into a huge amount of time saved.

Public speaking acts in a similar way. If you are speaking at a conference, the people present there already know what you are going to talk about. If they have similar interests, they can come closer.

(2) Set a goal: Conduct one desired conversation

If Ellen is at an event, then sets a goal. She considers any experience useful if at least one necessary conversation took place. No need to meet everyone present. No need to be there from the beginning to the end of the event. It is not necessary to exchange contact information. You just need to have a good conversation, and then do what you want.

But sometimes even this goal is too complex, and Ellen tries to cheat. She pre-scans the list of participants to find someone she really wants to talk to. He then contacts them by e-mail and asks if they can meet before the event.

Due to the fact that the girl makes an appointment in advance, she has no way to ignore the event. Moreover, she begins to look forward to him, because she knows where to start. In the same way, you can choose who you want to meet and invite this person to an event that he might like.

(3) Know your limitations and set rules

Ellen liked the doctrine, which says that introverts and extroverts are not synonyms for open and closed people, but rather different ways to get energy. A girl can spend a certain amount of time in the company of people, but after that she will need to stay alone to recharge.

Upon reaching its limit, Ellen stops going to events and making appointments. Anyway, she will be in a bad mood, and communication with her will not bring anyone any good.

To avoid such a turn, Ellen tried to work out certain rules and follow them. The best thing she came up with was to always stay home on Friday night. This gives enough time that you can spend alone. If on Friday she stays at home, then on Saturday she will be able towork well and productively , attend social events in the evening, relax on Sunday, and return to the office on Monday with renewed vigor.

If you do not follow the rules, Ellen too easily succumbs to the pressure of colleagues. Some people do not understand why Friday alone can ruin an entire week for someone. At least you need to know your limit. If you often exceed it, you must set the rules.

PS. We recommend another useful article on the topic of self- development - 9 communication skills that any successful leader should possess .

The author of the translation is Vyacheslav Davidenko, founder of TESTutor .